<p>okay, not only is there my DD's Facebook page. RPI class of 2015 has a page. Theres an RPI archie page (which is how I found out about the mentor - mentee pizza party she will attending) and RPI hillel has a page (and each of their events has a page, allowing me to see if my DD is planning on attending, how many others are, etc) </p>
<p>I know these kids have to live their lives online. Do they realize what a temptation this is to the nervous, trying not to helicopter parent? </p>
<p>When we spoke last night, and I asked her about the brunch - it didnt occur to me till later that she had never TOLD me about the brunch. I think she missed that though :)</p>
<p>BBD- pick up the phone- now- and call your local Jewish Family Service or Boys/Girls Club or Federation and volunteer for either Reading Partners or Big Brother’s or just to be a mentor to a HS senior who is trying to apply to college without family support. You have so much expertise and energy and love- and I’m sure there is a 17 year old in your neighborhood who would love to have a helicopter parent for the year, or a 7 year old whose parents don’t speak English, or a 10 year old who has never visited a public library.</p>
<p>GO! These kids need you! Your D has been launched and is going to have a fantastic year! Pick up the phone before you stalk again!</p>
<p>BBD, what you did isn’t any different than looking at official college websites. Those Facebook pages could be private if they were meant to be. </p>
<p>I’ve never looked at Facebook, but I look at LinkedIn frequently.</p>
<p>It is hard to let them go after being so involved for such a long time. I miss my D1 and am trying hard not to hover. She seems to be adjusting well and is off to a good start. She was really worried to go away to college and now is starting to enjoy herself. I just like to see what she is up to and she hasn’t had too much time to keep me updated so I too, as she calls it, is a stalker or creeper. :)</p>
<p>D finally accepted my FB friend request today! I reminded her yesterday she promised years ago that she would once she was at college. From my end, I promised to never post anything to her wall or like anything (unless of course it was appropriate for me to like it).</p>
<p>That’s not stalking BBD! That’s showing parental interest Just don’t drop those little tidbits in conversation anymore or else she’ll limit your access to her profile…</p>
<p>To be honest I think this is first week jitters, mostly, combined with the relative ease of information. We were used to getting very little info last year - DD was in Israel, Nativ posted something maybe once a week or so, we got some calls, texts, emails, and skypes from DD, and her occassional FB updates.</p>
<p>Now we are getting less direct communications from her (probably a good thing, of course) and there is more at stake. And theres all these tempting info sources. I think we can balance, and gradually let go more. But right now its a little bit difficult.</p>
<p>Darn… you’re allowed on DD’s FB… I’m jealous. </p>
<p>FB could be a good way to reassure yourself that’s she’s alive and breathing without bothering her. But NEVER post on it. And try not to peek unless really concerned. Otherwise it will be too hard to remember what you learned from FB vs directly from DD. </p>
<p>Maybe drop a hint to D that regular communication will reduce your temptation to peek at FB. </p>
<p>Blossom had great advise. I enjoy my Sunday School teacher gig. But alas I’ve been moved from my regular preK slot to 4th/5th grade BOYS. And this happens to be an particularily bouncy set of boys - I had them in preK and in my 1st grade detour year. It should be interesting ;)</p>
<p>Blossom’s advice is wonderful but otherwise-- enjoy! Do you think people put pictures etc up on Facebook because they are seeking privacy? You can’t butt in, but we’re very lucky to live in an age when we can see snaps of our kids in action even as they grow up and away. 150 years ago, your D would be likely to live in a nearby town all her life. As it is, she can go where she likes and you can still keep in touch. I’ve just spent a happy year “stalking” my niece as she taught in China. I’m so grateful for FB!</p>
<p>DD’s FB has been open to us since she got on in HS, that was a condition of letting her get on (of course by now she is on social network things that we arent) Not only have we posted items of interest to her FB page, but she has posted items of interest on ours. We have also used FB messaging to communicate on occasion. (our main self restraint has been to limit commenting on her posts, except on rare occasions, cause we find when we comment her peers tend to do so less) </p>
<p>She has never indicated that she minds that we look at her page. But there are new temptations now. The extra sites, and also the temptation to just check out the times she posts as an indication of time management issues.</p>
<p>You’d be amazed at how much you don’t see on FB. Pictures/comments posted by her friends, who are not also your friends, won’t show up (depending on the poster’s own privacy settings).</p>
<p>BBD, puhleeze…there is no problem in what you are doing. I just think it is “being aware” of her activities. However, you need to be a bit more clever. Wait a couple of days before you say a leading question such as, “Gone to any events/parties lately?”</p>
<p>My S hasnt friended me either on FB, but it does not really matter since he hardly posts anything. So I found myself tracking when and where he was eating and when he did his laundry through eProxy on line. At least I know he was eating and doing laundry. I know I know I need to stop…
During Ss orientation it was recommended by school that the parents talk to their students about campus events when they call. I signed up to be FB fan for his university and dept pages so I will know the important deadlines and upcoming campus-wide events. Last week I saw Ss picture in the album from his engineering school event posted on FB. There were must be hundreds of students at that event and I found him in one of the pictures. I cant describe enough how happy I was!!!</p>
<p>Don’t stalk, walk. When my d left for college I decided to commit to exercise. I love Jazzercise and I love to walk. I spend at least an hour a day at Jazzercise and another four hours per week walking with friends. It reduces my anxiety, helps me sleep, curbs my appetite. I have lost twenty pounds since she left for school. My husband really likes my new appearance. I am wearing my shirts tucked in for the first time in many years. I feel like I have been given ten extra years of mobility and I had better enjoy them. My daughter means the world to me but I’m not checking to see if she is happy because an hour out of my day to exercise is not easy. I’m busy and I get tired but at the end of the day I enjoy a glass of wine and a book. I guess you could say I have become self centered but my husband and my d seem to like me better for it!</p>
<p>I am so happy to know I wasn’t alone! S1’s leaving resulted in me becoming distraught and all the other terrible feelings posted on the similar threads every fall. It didn’t help he became fairly non-communicative. The first month or so, I checked his on-line flex $ account for activity. I figured if he were drinking pop and eating chips, he was alive!
We can laugh about it now, and it really did help then. Plus, it helped him by avoiding receiving texts that said “Are you alive?”</p>
Just don’t drop those little tidbits in conversation anymore or else she’ll limit your access to her profile…</p>
he says if i friend request him, he will begrudginly accept but no way will he request it</p>