<p>Hi i'm a first year UCLA student. So far it is halfway through the first year of college, but I still struggle to find a sense of community or sense of belonging. I am very active in searching for clubs to join. So far I am in a christian club, a volunteering group. I have also auditioned for theatre companies and stuff but didn't get the position. I also applied for daily bruin business internships but didn't get it either. I am rather outgoing. I meet a lot of great people at christian club and I run into them and say hi how you doing and that's it. I feel like it is kinda hard for me to find a group of people where i feel like i fit in and truly belong. I am also capable of spending some alone time. And yet I feel lonely because there aren't people who I can just hang out with and have fun! Any suggestions?</p>
<p>it seems like you may be biting off more than you can chew. by trying to outreach to so many potential social groups, you’re giving up opportunities of enhancing the ones you already do have. you have 3 more years at UCLA, so you have plenty of time to make friends. try getting to know the people on your floor or in your discussion classes, even if they seem boring - give them a chance, you’ll be surprised at the dynamics in personalities of UCLA students</p>
<p>for future reference, the best time to make friends is during zero week of fall quarter because there are a lot of new freshmen who are unfamiliar with their new surroundings so they’re open to meeting people. however, imo everyone at UCLA is usually pretty open, it’s just from my experience it’s a lot easier to make friends during zero week because cliques haven’t been formed yet. it gets progressively harder the later it gets in the year</p>
<p>How do you even join a club anyways?</p>
<p>My son experienced a similar scenario last year as a freshman, especially since he dormed in a plaza residence in which his RA was not that great at organizing mixers and activities. He’s living in a regular dorm this year (one of the new ones) and his floor is a lot more active and in fact he’s the special events coordinator. Some other clubs that you might want to consider are Nikkei Student Union (look them up on Facebook under "Nikkei Student Union at UCLA) and Association of Chinese Americans (look them up on Facebook under “ACA Bruins”). Both organizations have new members joining throughout the year, it’s not too late. Also look into taking recreational classes at the John Wooden recreation center. Also try to reach out of your comfort zone to organize get-togethers and activities, don’t wait for others to do the inviting.</p>
<p>If you’re in to sports, become one of the Den kids. Those guys seem to be having a lot of fun.</p>
<p>Thank you very much! I will try out these suggestions!</p>
<p>This is my whole concern with UCLA, I wonder how many kids feel this way. I know there is a ton to do there, and ya have to get out there and do it yadda yadda. But two kids I know there now say it is lonely being at a giant school like that when you can’t find your niche and aren’t the rah rah type. I wonder if not housing by majors makes it harder for kids to find their group. I know I am excited at other schools that there is engineering oriented housing for that major. Engineering have a certain lifestyle and things in common, like other majors as well, and I feel there are a lot of students roaming on their own at UCLA.</p>
<p>Shuuemura- I think many things play into the scenario you speak of, but I don’t think UCLA’s size is the only common denominator here. My friend’s have kids in colleges of all sizes and this is something I’ve heard them all speak of. And you know what? I don’t think it is a problem exclusive of new college students. I’m 47YO and there are times I still feel like this and I know my friends do too. The one thing I’ve noticed in my life is that people need social activity coordinators, otherwise people get caught up in school, work, family and life and just don’t make the effort. It is all too easy to get complacent as human beings. You need to become the person who plans things if you want stuff to happen.</p>
<p>My friend is little miss social butterfly. Almost exhaustingly so. I asked her why she never takes a break from it and she told me if she didn’t plan all these events, then no one would. After I thought about it, I realized she’s right. Most people just won’t take the initiative. Start planning events with the people you do enjoy. Pizza/movie night. Church and breakfast. A day at the beach. See a play/have dessert after. Whatever. If it goes well, then at the end of the event, see if people want to do it again -or something else- in 2 weeks. That will give you something to look forward to in between studies.</p>
<p>This is a tough year in your life. Many things are different for you. But please know that every human being feels the same way you’re feeling at some point in their lives, and some many times during their life. Also know that people I’ve spoken to at smaller schools are feeling the same way, but have an added twist: They date someone a time or two and then everyone knows about it and wants to butt into their business. There are advantages/disadvantages to every situation. So get out there and pull others out of their shells. Have fun and remember: This too shall pass! Many blessings to you!</p>