<p>We learned to set some ground rules in order to survive the craziness of my kids' visits home from school:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>No curfews of course, but we still need to know generally where they are and when they can be expected home. If plans change, make a phone call--anytime, day or night. At first, they balked, saying "but when I'm away, you don't know where I am". But we explained that its different when they're away, because you aren't left wondering and worrying when they don't come come. ALL family members living together (parents AND older kids) owe each other the common courtesy of letting each other know roughly their plans.</p></li>
<li><p>The house is not a restaurant. The person making dinner needs to be told by the afternoon whether the kid is going to join us. Its absolutely fine to make other plans, but its rude and inconsiderate not to inform the cook.</p></li>
</ol>