<p>Most kids looking at colleges seriously can handle it. You think they don't wonder about such things if they are not already doing them? The days of sheltered flowers are over and should be buried with that notion. We discussed most of this in my HS sex ed classes as a freshman.</p>
<p>This is a discussion board, not a dry source of facts and figures. I enjoy these discussions and reading varying points of view. This has been a pretty common topic, nothing new really. It's valuable to be armed with information about things that might not be mentioned in the college viewbooks. Understanding prevailing attitudes and trends can help parents to guide, support, and understand what their kids are going through.</p>
<p>^yes MomOFour. CC is helping me make the transition to parent of an adult in ways that no other book, article or friend has been able to. If kids want to read/see pornography, they know how to get to much more exciting sites than this one.</p>
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just as my HS friend who became a nurse shows, a female can have good reasons for her "unconventional" sexual choices
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<p>Good reasons such as low self esteem and lack of self respect? </p>
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QUERY: why didn't anyone mention the males who are on the train? Is "self loathing" a female only thing?
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<p>I'll bite. As a male, I can't imagine how this could be fulfilling (sexually or otherwise) in any way. I can't see it leading to anything but regret. </p>
<p>What percent of these "encounters" would you estimate don't involve alcohol? Does that tell you anything?</p>
<p>Do HS GC ever visit college campuses? If they do, don't they have an obligation to present what is actually going on?</p>
<p>I've been to several over the last 4 years. There are bowls of condoms throughout the dorms and there are posters everywhere warning of STD's and urging tolerance to alternative sexual lifestyle choices. </p>
<p>One poster on this thread related that on a campus tour, the tour guide mentioned "the walk of shame" and that was a deciding factor for that poster's daughter. Why isn't a CC discussion as enlightening? </p>
<p>I sympathize with hs guidance counselors who have to deal with school policies that make the teachers preach abstinance and denigrate bc and safe sex. I'd think that CC is a great place to go as a resourse for what these students and their parents can really expect. Riverrunner as a parent with a HS student has indicated that she as such a parent finds this particular thread most helpful.</p>
<p>Nevermind . . .</p>
<p>I cant completely disagree with erj, coronax and mstee, but on the other hand this thread does not seem to be out of ordinary, now I can see a few very similar threads (one of them is referenced in post # 93), so it looks like CC forum is an established source of information about college sex life, nothing new here.</p>
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OTOH, I am still trying to get a handle on <em>the life saving</em> aspects of chain or group sex. I have to say, I have never thought of it that way before. Had not thought that much about chain sex really at all before now . . .
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<p>but precisely, here is our chance to learn something new! Ive never considered it earlier, but from now on Ill be more understanding and see certain people in a totally different light.</p>
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I enjoy these discussions and reading varying points of view. This has been a pretty common topic, nothing new really. It is valuable to be armed with information about things that might not be mentioned in the college viewbooks. Understanding prevailing attitudes and trends can help parents to guide, support, and understand what their kids are going through.
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<p>MomOFour, I agree completely that many people enjoy these discussions. And you know what, it may not be a bad idea to include this information into college viewbooks. A simple search of this forum reveals many inquiring parents, and I am sure that some of their children could benefit from their support and guidance, especially since some HS teachers do not seem comfortable to provide them with this valuable information. BTW, does anyone know if chain group sex is included into a HS sex ed curriculum? This thread would make a great home reading assignment for school seniors, some parents should consider passing it on to their kids HS.</p>
<p>icametolearn: Misleading screen name. As far as I can tell, you came to be sarcastic and self-satisfied, nothing else. Do you have anything more to contribute?</p>
<p>While I would agree that this thread has veered off the tracks into territory where it didn't need to go a few times, I am puzzled, as I always am, by people's standards of appropriate conversation with, say, 16- and 17-year-olds. Does anyone imagine that anything discussed in this thread is not already a topic of conversation for students that age? (There is nothing that has been discussed in this thread that was not a topic of conversation among my friends when we were 13. In fact, some of the "worst" topics were much more discussed at 13 than at 17, when we had acquired some sense of proportion.)</p>
<p>There is really no argument that the basic topic of this thread is not appropriate for CC. What people seem to object to is a few expressions of unconventional views. I guess my liberal bias shows in that I value the occasional honest expression of unconventional views. I don't think any high school student reading this thread would take any message away more horrifying than that the range of views among their parents' generation is wider than they (or I) might have imagined. Certainly they would notice that the most unconventional views draw skepticism, condemnation, and scorn -- nothing new there. And my guess is that they would conclude that some of that skepticism, condemnation, and scorn was justified. I think some of the complaining is a little overwrought.</p>
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icametolearn: Misleading screen name. As far as I can tell, you came to be sarcastic and self-satisfied, nothing else. Do you have anything more to contribute?
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<p>Well, well, well; thats a nice welcome for a new member. An attractive, not-so-old dad registers on a famous college forum, sees a hook-up thread popping up right on top of the first page and gets a little excited whats so surprising about it? I see some ads posted on this forum screen, so every new member, every post count and every mouse click bring revenues to the forum owners - thats my contribution. I dont think you policing this forum make the owners happy, unless of course you are one of them (in which case, its nice meeting you). And whats so misleading about my screen name? I traveled a lot around the world, but did not go to college, so I came to learn something on this forum (and boy did I learn!), you have a problem with that? Suppose, I signed up as UncircumcisedDad (yes, I saw that thread too) would this story make a contribution good enough for you? If so, consider this my contribution to the hook-up thread. I am afraid I dont have any other personal stories to contribute. See, I am kind of shy and dont know you, people, close enough. But hey, its an interesting crowd, perhaps one day... Nice dynamic forum, lots of action going on; I am definitely staying. But hey, I am a nice guy, dont offend anyone, well get along. See ya around. </p>
<p>BTW, I am going to tell my son and his friends to check out this thread, Ill pass it along to his HS too. Those fine boys have a thing or two to learn from it, dont you think? ;)</p>
<p>If we aren't going to find it on College Confidential, where are we going to find it, in the View Books? :rolleyes:</p>
<p>mini: So true.</p>
<p>"Life saving aspects of sex." Hm. Reminded me of a movie of few years back. Based on a true story. Mrs. Henderson Presents. </p>
<p>In this film a conventional British matron opens a theatre featuring nude actresses only because her son died in world war one and had never seen a naked woman. She thought this very sad and didn't want to send any more British boys to their deaths this way.</p>
<p>Seems it was quite a fixture of the British stage for many years, through WWII.</p>
<p>Good movie.</p>
<p>Back to your regularly scheduled programming.</p>
<p>PS: The purpose thread was to discuss an article on college life. Seems appropriate. </p>
<p>But to new members who are upset -- click on colleges sidebars. Info. on colleges there. Good luck.</p>
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I am puzzled, as I always am, by people's standards of appropriate conversation with, say, 16- and 17-year-olds. Does anyone imagine that anything discussed in this thread is not already a topic of conversation for students that age? (There is nothing that has been discussed in this thread that was not a topic of conversation among my friends when we were 13. In fact, some of the "worst" topics were much more discussed at 13 than at 17, when we had acquired some sense of proportion.)
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<p>I think there's a difference the conversations teens have and conversations between teens and parents (or 12 year old girls and their uncles). I think those of us who have been through it owe it to our kids to now serve as role models (regardless of how we behaved at their age).</p>
<p>Aww, I'm sad to see an interesting thread deteriorate.</p>
<p>Icametolearn, May I try this as a unifying idea: when students get to campus, they will encounter a wide range of ideas and experiences. It is preferable to talk, think, read about them than to try them out first-hand. If they can sit in the warmth of their homes and simply reflect on topics, that is a safe encounter with new ideas. </p>
<p>Welcome. I have been amazed by all the different ideas on CC, and I think it is good that students can see parents share some of their concerns. In particular, I've learned that I really, really like some of the posters who are far to the right of me politically. CC is a safe way to learn about how other people view the world. These topics are all relevant to campus life. People will choose their way around the big issues of campus: coursework, roommates, meeting others. </p>
<p>Nothing said on this thread has been prurient or pornographic, it's just a discussion. I'm ready to trust the intelligence of people who are l6 or l7 years old to read and think for themselves. Moderators are also on hand and do a great job to be sure nobody goes off the deep end.</p>
<p>Suppose the title of a thread were, "Study of the 'drinking' culture on campus" or
"Study of the 'suicide possibility' on campus." Would that be a bad thread to run?</p>
<p>Is everyone here smoking something? Really. We're supposed to actually approach the topic of group train encounters and random hook-ups as worthy of deep contemplation and discussion? </p>
<p>Come into the CC sexual encounter room, boys and girls. Here we will discuss the sexual practices of college students. Because we're all so interested, as parents, in how our kids are doing it nowadays. Even the discussion OF the discussion is up for discussion.</p>
<p>paying3tuitions, nice meeting you too. I hear you; I mustve had a bit of a shock as a newcomer, but I think I am warming up to these unconventional threads and I see your point. The only thing I am still not sure about: somebody mentioned a toilet thread; whats up with that? Guess, Id better check it out for more relevant college topic and new amazing ideas (no pun, no offence, piece, and thanks for the welcome ;) )</p>
<p>It is relevant because it's a part of college campus life for some, upsetting to others, distracting to others. This topic pertains to the balance of time, emotion and energy students will manage, in order to handle their academics well. Whether one participates or dodges it, it's part of campus culture so that's what we talk about here. </p>
<p>Icametolearn, we just cross-posted! So goes it.:)</p>
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<p>If that were the thread title and parents came on and spoke about how many times they or their friends drank, drove & somehow survived (as I heard at a recent dinner party), I do think it would be irresponsible. There were no teenagers present at that dinner and folks were looking over their shoulder in the restaurant even as they spoke. That's what we need more of here.</p>
<p>Am I missing something here?? If someone doesn't like the topic of a thread, why don't they just ignore it, rather than come like moths to a flame? If someone is standing on the street corner preaching something not of my interest, I'd politely just go a different way.... JMO, FWIW</p>
<p>Yes, you are missing something.</p>
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If someone is standing on the street corner preaching something not of my interest, I'd politely just go a different way.... JMO, FWIW
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<p>How about if the neighborhood kids walked by that corner every day on the way to school? Would it be a problem then?</p>
<p>I'm with those who don't see the problem with threads like this and actually think they're probably helpful in that they may wake up some parents and students to issues that exist on college campuses (as well as elsewhere). Even if the students and parents reading this thread may be alarmed or horrified at some of what they read, it's introducing them to some of the reality of what's out there. It certainly doesn't mean that they have to like it, accept it or participate in it. And it may alert them to issues that they hadn't previously pondered and result in some modification of the college list perhaps to a list of more conservative schools.</p>
<p>As for teachers feeling uncomfortable recommending the thread, I'd just suggest that teachers describe the site as dealing with all aspects of college, not just academics. I don't think a teacher should have to worry about a student or that student's parent thinking the teacher endorses every opinion expressed on the site. I suspect many high school teachers recommend that students visit colleges, and those teachers certainly wouldn't want to be held responsible for what students or parents might hear on such a visit. </p>
<p>Along those lines, I would mention that two years ago my D did an overnight at our state U with an honors student selected by the admissions office. On that overnight, my D was repeatedly offered alcohol and a fake ID and at 2:30a.m. on a Thursday night was "sexiled" for a few hours while the student "hooked up" with a guy. This same student apparently kept a scoreboard of her conquests on her suite door. Now I was pretty shocked at a couple of things about this, not least that the girl had volunteered to host a h.s. student. Would I hold responsible a teacher who had recommended that my D visit overnight at that school? Of course not. Both my D and I know that there are students of all sorts on most campuses, and knowing what's out there helps to know what to avoid, such as in roommate selection. Going off to college with a naive view of what's out there doesn't seem all that desirable, either from the student's or the parent's perspective. </p>
<p>I think it's helpful for the most promiscuous to learn that there are some who still feel it best to "save themselves for marriage." Likewise, I think it's helpful for those in the "save themselves" group to learn about the views of those who think differently. They don't have to date or "hook up" with each other, and they may not even be friends, but some understanding of their differing perspectives is a good thing.</p>