Anyone NOT enjoying the "hook-up" culture?

<p>hey guys</p>

<p>i just visited my future campus this week and i must say that i love every thing about it</p>

<p>but i talked to a friend of mine (we are both girls, she is currently a freshman) who goes there and she told me (or rather, confirmed to me ) about the "hook-up" culture in college</p>

<p>i went to a frat party that night and saw some of it, i mean, i enjoy drinking in small doses every once in a while, and dancing, and just having fun with friends, but i am NOT into the hook-up culture at all!</p>

<p>when i say hook up, i mean you have sex with friends/people you just met without having to make a commitment</p>

<p>is there anyone else who dislikes it? I mean, sure everyone has needs, but as a girl my needs are mostly, lik 90%+, on the emotional side, and this just sounds like a waste of time and energy; it doesnt seem extremely appealing or emotionally fulfilling to me, either.</p>

<p>is there anyone else with me? what do you guys think of it?</p>

<p>There's lots of people with you. Mostly chicks.</p>

<p>im just not into the whole..you never kno what kind of nastiness someone has, and its not like theyre gonna tell you...plus its essentially degrading</p>

<p>I never really got the whole "try to pick up a sex partner at a party/bar/etc." thing (though I'm still just an HS student). To me, there seems something rather empty and vain about it, and it seems so endless, unfulfilling and cyclical. I'm going with Carmen here in saying that true love occurs when you don't actively seek it out. I think.</p>

<p>L'amour est un oiseau rebelle ...</p>

<p>true love is rarer than rare, so dont worry about it</p>

<p>I'm not exactly a romantic since I tend to err on the side of "true love" being a social construct of the past few centuries, but the hook-up culture is stupid. Just my $.02</p>

<p>Hooking up is not always sexual. I am not obsessed with it, but I am certainly not against it either. After all, it is the person's choice if they want to or not.</p>

<p>I'm with UCLAri in his assessment. I'm no romantic, but I much prefer real relationships with lasting feelings to random hook-ups. I'm built so that I can't even imagine how people enjoy having intimate contact of any kind with people whom they barely know.</p>

<p>Thankfully, commuting to college helps keep me away from a lot of that stuff. Also, my religious beliefs (Biblical Christianity) play a part in my choosing to abstain from sexual relationships. But also, as a guy, it's a great idea to abstain as well, so many people don't know that if for whatever reason that girl decides later to falsely accuse the guy of rape, that guy is pretty much screwed (unless of course, he managed to record the whole encounter, which has saved a several guys in the past, believe it or not). Furthermore, the list of sexually transmitted diseases is both long and harrowing, and should serve as another deterrent to the random sex hookups that seem so prevalent around college campuses. </p>

<p>But I also share your view, and I take it a little bit further too, for example, I don't see the need in pursuing romantic relationships of any sort -- especially during college as well as after graduation. But that's a little beyond the scope of this topic :D</p>

<p>Not yet in college - gap year (:. But OP I share your view too. All this hook-up stuff is idiotic and kinda disgusting.</p>

<p>Yeah I believe in true love too though but I wouldn't be seeking it in college. I am staying away from the romance stuff until I graduate. Why complicate my already complicated life.</p>

<p>I agree that the hookup culture is overrated, and pop culture definitely glamorizes it.</p>

<p>I think its funny everyone is referring to this as some sort of culture like its a huge deal.</p>

<p>I was never big on hooking up. I figured it would probably happen a bit in college and I was never looking for serious relationships in HS. </p>

<p>Well, the summer before freshman year, I started dating someone and we've been dating ever since (long-distance during the school year, I'm transferring - although for a variety of reasons). I love him more than anything....so I guess I'm the ultimate in what not to do.</p>

<p>q-mark, i totally agree with you, we should meet up and talk about it, you know maybe over a drink or two, clothing optional.</p>

<p>burgler, I agree. It's actually pretty retarded.</p>

<p>not a big deal.. it happens, you get used to it. im not into the whole sleeping around with people you dont know or even any kind of <em>real</em> sexual acitivity with random people at parties. but you know, sometimes, youre inebriated and your just like wow, id like to make out with someone right now. and somwhow that happens with the cute guy youve been talking to all night. its not just me, every so often when me and my friends go out thats the feeling.</p>

<p>like i said, its not a big deal. its only weird to me if someone just more than just mild hooking-up with people every weekend. id rather save that for someone i was actually interested and invested in. in college, friends with benefits is the way to go.</p>

<p>Most reasonably sized schools see a few cases of the "I was raped" allegations post hookup blues which often ends up ruining someone's life. Sometimes the allegations are justified but many times they're not. </p>

<p>Just something to keep in mind... when you hook up with someone you just met you never know what will happen afterwards (let alone what nasty festering diseases you might pick up... even with a condom).</p>

<p>I know their has been a few guys here, but another guy coming in to say that I prefer a partner that is intelligent and that I have a bond with. That the sex will only help further our relationship. This hook-up culture doesn't do that so yeah... it blows (pun intended).</p>

<p>Why do you care what other people do?</p>

<p>I'm not sure that I'd enjoy hooking up with some random chick at a party unles she was really hot, I was actually into her, and we were just hitting it off and really enjoying each other's presence. I'm the type to get it on within the first few dates though; if you can't perform, that we just aren't going to make it. I believe in varying sex drives and sexual compatibility though; let's just say mine is through the roof, and if I ended up spending months with a girl that had the sex drive of my grandma but I didn't know because we waited so long to start having sex, things would get complicated.</p>

<p>But of course I'd like to feel like I know the person somewhat before it gets to sex.</p>

<p>So you can't just lump everyone into the same group.</p>