<p>I am currently studying abroad in Paris, France---this has been my dream for a long time. However, upon getting here about 3 days ago, I have been very very down. The city nor the school or people matched my expectations. It it gray, dark and unfriendly. My living conditions are also subpar. </p>
<p>Yes, I do suffer from mild anxiety/depression and I have been seeing a counselor all of last semester. I have a roommate who is very nice but I have cried myself to sleep most nights, and I dont even care about my classes---I have been like this before and the results of that semester were not good. </p>
<p>On top of that--what makes my anxiety even greater--is that the grades from this study abroad will count. The French use a very different teaching style than across the pond and I really dont want to jeopardize my gpa--i am already behind on credits and there is no guarantee all of these classes will transfer. </p>
<p>This is also my FIRST time abroad--i worry about my finances--rent be/c of the exchange rate and transfer fees has turned out to be more expensive than I thought.</p>
<p>I am just a mess---when I went for a walk yesterday through the neighborhood, I felt good but as soon as I try to go to sleep at night, all the emotions begin to poor out. </p>
<p>Should I leave? Should I stay and resume life at my university back home? someone help me</p>
<p>I kind of just want this to be a mini 3 week exploration of Paris and then I just want to go back to my home university or become a visiting student at the local university in my town (already put in a registration request today before the deadline next week).
I cannot fathom staying here for 5 months.</p>
<p>strongbeans12: don’t give up and come home, yet. The feelings you are describing sound very, very familiar from when my own child went abroad fall semester. She was in shock for quite some time, and she even had as a roommate someone from her own college back home! Talk to any resident assistants and/or program directors you have there. I totally hear you re: euros. My child was shocked at the price of everything where she was living/studying. However, she survived. She even had to provide her own food. And yes, the credits, grading… it is all very different. Try to remember how you had this as a dream, you say, for such a very long time. You are suffering from culture shock. It is wonderful that you took a walk in the neighborhood and that you liked it. It’s normal to ‘freak out’ and I believe you that it’s hard to rest at night (there is the time difference with only 3 days there, too)… again: 1) connect with r.a. people and/or people who are in charge of your academic program if you are on a program via your college; 2) talk to the other students there; they are probably feeling similar emotions to yours; 3) if you ‘don’t care’ about the classes, review again why you chose them and write a list of positives for taking them, plus a list of ALL the positives of a semester abroad; … maybe I am repeating myself. I am just trying to send some positive vibes your way to say, ‘Don’t give up, yet.’ This is an opportunity of a lifetime, and part of growing is learning how to survive in it. Three days… you have just started on this journey. I want to add I went to Europe as a teen… and had a tough year, but I did stick it out (my parents wouldn’t entertain my coming home, anyway, until I finished what I set out to do, and I didn’t even know the language of the country I was living in, so it was a very lonely, hard year at first, but it got better)… you worked hard to get there. My vote is to keep at it for now.</p>
<p>One more P.S.: you were accepted to study abroad because your application showed you had the grades/application to be successful. Pat yourself on the back for that! Have faith.</p>
<p>As I post this, it’s 10 p.m. over there, right? I hope you are up to see this posting.</p>
<p>My kid didn’t have anxiety/depression problem when she studied abroad, but she was very unhappy the first month. It was a big cultural shock to her, everything she was used to was just a bit different there. Even internet and phone usage were different there. I did a lot in trying to help her out. I told her to just take one day at a time, do one thing she liked everyday, even if it is just watching an American movie or sit at a Starbuck. She ended up loving her experience. She cried very hard when had to leave. What was nice about her school’s study abroad program was her grades only counted as P/F, they didn’t factor into her GPA, so she was able to relax and enjoy the new country.</p>
<p>I don’t know when you could officially withdraw without impacting your grades. If it is 2 or weeks from now, why don’t you give yourself an out - if you still don’t like the place in 2-3 weeks then you could leave. </p>
<p>Paris is very gray in the winter, but beautiful in spring. It is also a bit warmer than the NE (NY and Boston). I bet you in another month, the city will be brighter, especially when flowers start to bloom. Meanwhile, try to go to some museums and do some indoor stuff. We love taking walks around Paris at night. It is a beautiful city.</p>
<p>Ahhh - my heart goes out to you! I agree with the other moms’ advice… 3 days is not enough time to make a judgement. When I was your age, I recall having similar ‘disheartening’ episodes - first when I went away to a college that was my parent choice (a very quiet isolated “non party” academic environment … I hated it for an entire quarter, but my only other available option was moving back home, as my father refused to pay for any other university - I hung in there and though my plan had been to transfer my junior year by that time I loved it. Do not isolate yourself- no matter what! Force yourself to find a group of students and go out exploring, for coffee, window shopping, anything… Our mind can play with us when alone and convince us things are worse than they really are! You are in Paris, not the Gaza Strip …, you are so blessed- having a once in a lifetime opportunity! Seize the day! It WILL get better- no doubt!<br>
Good luck, I’ll pray for you-</p>
<p>Use the internet and read all you can about culture shock. Did your home university prepare students going abroad for this? There is a lot of info about what it is, how long it might last, and best of all, things you can do to overcome it. You have wanted this experience…sure it’s a bit scary to be away from home,but think of the exciting stories you will have to tell. I HATE when I read about GPA fears…college and life is about so much more than a stupid number! After you graduate, no one is even going to give a flying flip exactly what your stupid GPA is. Would you trade in a maybe once in a lifetime experience just for a slightly higher GPA? Don’t fool yourself…it’s much harder once you are a real adult to ever find the time/money/etc to be able to pick up and go live in another country for a while just for the fun and experience of it. Soon you’ll be saddled with too many responsibilities to pick up on a whim. What you will learn about other cultures, other governments, other ways of life during your time in Europe is worth far more than a few more points up the GPA tracker…Stay. Because there are tons of students who can’t afford to go abroad, or who don’t have the family support to go behind them.</p>
Have faith.</p>