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<p>My calc professor, who is not normally that funny.
(at beginning of class)
Prof: “We’re only going to be talking about [3 topics], so class will end a little early today.”
<em>Student walks out</em>
Prof: “Not that early!”</p>
<p>My japanese professor once had an etire conversation on this one “dirty” kanji that for some reason appeared in one dictionary and not another. LOL</p>
<p>Prof: So my question is: what does God really want? Don’t you dare answer that! Nobody knows, and you’ll end up in hell trying.</p>
<p>PolySci, Prof was pointing out how when a state claims a territory, they plant a flag there first. “So what did the Americans first do after landing on the moon? PLANT A FLAG! And what did the Soviets say? OH **** THEY’RE CLAIMING THE MOON”</p>
<p>Last year, when I was in first year, I took a 300-level theatre course. We had two profs, and one of them (the one in this story) is about 60 and incredible…she definitely marches to the beat of her own drum, but she’s an absolute sweetheart (and can out-work-out everyone by a mile!). Anyway, there was one class where we (the professor and the students) were sitting in a circle discussing an assignment. All of a sudden, the door opened and a student rushed in, looked around the room, realized he was in the wrong classroom, apologized and rushed out. Everyone giggled awkwardly and resumed discussing the assignment. Our prof, however, leaned over to me and whispered, just loudly enough for me to hear:
“Good thing we weren’t having an orgy or that would have been REALLY embarrassing”.
Needless to say, first-year-student-me was corrupted from that moment on.</p>
<p>“My hands were shaking as I took the points off. I hated to do it for such a simple mistake, but I had to.”</p>
<p>Same professor (dead serious):</p>
<p>“I am very pleased with the test scores. They were quite high 40s and 50s.”</p>
<p>A funny exchange I had with a professor of mine. There was a high school student visiting us and she was really nervous because she was waiting for her decision letter. </p>
<p>Her: Yeah, I applied early decision here.
Me: Oh really, I applied early decision here too.
Professor (to me): You did? Did you get accepted?
Me: Nope. But I came here and demanded they teach me anyways.</p>
<p>Freshman year physics lecture, in a lecture hall with a few hundred students, where the temperature always seemed to be about 80 degrees. It was very conducive to falling asleep. The professor noticed a student asleep, sitting in an aisle seat, about 20 rows up.</p>
<p>Prof: “Is he sleeping?”
Adjacent student: “Yes”
Prof puts his finger up to his mouth, telling everone to be quiet, tiptoes up to sleeping student and crouches down, inches from his face: “WAKE UP!”</p>
<p>The lecture hall was fairly standard, with two main aisles, roughly half of the seats in the middle, and a quarter to either side. The same professor at the end of the last lecture:</p>
<p>“Everyone, starting from the left…row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream…”</p>
<p>Nothing like a couple of hundred engineering students singing a nursery ryhme.</p>
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