<p>Walking by a frat house:</p>
<p>"Yeah, I got 2/10 on my last quiz. My professor wrote at the top 'What are you even saying?'"</p>
<p>“No dude it’s not herpes if it’s all over”</p>
<p>“F… my life.” </p>
<p>This one is probably said around every two minutes, no joke.</p>
<p>“there is a mr. potato head in my ass”</p>
<p>“If you don’t stop having unprotected sex, I’m just going to start making baby talk to your uterus on a daily basis.”</p>
<p>On the campus bus: </p>
<p>Girl #1: Where are you from?</p>
<p>Girl #2: I’m from Louisiana</p>
<p>Girl #1: Oh… is that in northern or southern Kentucky?</p>
<p>“stop replacing my shampoo bottle with a dildo!”</p>
<p>The math teacher saying “horizontal fart” instead of “horizontal part.”</p>
<p>Well, it made <em>me</em> laugh.</p>
<p>I’m a commuter, so I don’t have any good ones, I guess.</p>
<p>Loonlake- I’ve had someone ask me (entirely seriously) if you need a passport to go to New Orleans.</p>
<p>sigh.</p>
<p>Me: “So…I got a 29/60 on my math exam…”</p>
<p>Friend: -grabs calculator and punches in numbers frantically- “That’s less than 50%!!!”</p>
<p>Me: -_-</p>
<p>“The last time I went to a concert of his, I wasn’t even ON “E”, and he was STILL amazing.”</p>
<p>“So you have to REALLY grunt, because you can’t get it up.”</p>
<p>“When I have kids, I want to just beam them out, like Star Trek or Wonka-vision.”</p>
<p>Jeepers HisGrace, who you been hanging around wit’?</p>
<p>“I can’t believe I’m asking this, but… doves ARE birds, right?”</p>
<p>TomServo–those were all quotes we heard over Summer Orientation as leaders.</p>
<p>Great, I know. Lots of laughs, and they immediately went on the “Notable Quotable” wall.</p>
<p>Anytime any of my professors say something funny, I write it down. I have about 320 quotes in the past year and a half.</p>
<p>“…So I know she can’t get pregnant if she’s on top, but does she?”</p>
<p>There’s this one girl that I have a couple of classes with and she is kind of crazy and not all there. She involuntary spews out random gibberish. One day she all the suddenly screams out this random word, which she thought gibberish, right in the middle of class. The gibberish was actually a Spanish word meaning breasts.</p>
<p>I speak Spanish so I looked back at her and came close to busting up laughing. Sadly, my professor is Hispanic and speaks Spanish too. He looks at her and said, “Do you even know what in the world you just said?”! Her expression just dropped as the professor explained to her the meaning of the word.</p>
<p>It was priceless! Now she pretty much keeps quite or says random words in English. Although, it kind of serves her right for being an idiot. </p>
<p>Now I keep a quotation journal for the random, but equally as stupid, sayings that people just happen to spew out.</p>
<p>There was this girl from the dorm who walked by dressed up nicely one day and a friend commented she was looking good. To which a 2nd friend replied “The only thing that makes her look good is distance!” </p>
<p>Still get a laugh remembering it…</p>
<p>“I wonder how they made condoms before rubber trees were invented?”</p>
<p>This was in town, so I’m not sure whether or not he actually went to Carleton, but the other day I walked by a guy and overheard a snippet:
“You gotta be smart and motivated, but you can totally be a druggie there too…as long as you’re intense.”</p>
<p>Needless to say, I really wish I had heard the rest of this conversation.</p>