<p>lol anyway, what are some funny/crazy stories about things your professor has done/said?</p>
<p>State what university you're attending, if you want.</p>
<p>History prof: “A battery is a magnet on a piece of metal”</p>
<p>I guess that’s why he’s teaching history, not physics.</p>
<p>Hmm, maybe look at discovered old egyptian batteries. Ancients werent dumb like some think</p>
<p>^aliens…</p>
<p>“I thought I was Jesus.” while he showed us a picture of himself in his twenties.</p>
<p>This is a great thread. I’ve been writing down the ridiculous and hilarious things my Calc II professor says in the margins of my notes.</p>
<p>“Just google it. You guys are google people, right?”
“Now, what will you get when you multiply two matrices? A balloon shaped animal?”
“But that’s not whats going to happen. Theres going to be some babies that come along.”
“Not everyone who is born is two years old right away. And only two year olds can run in the Kentucky Derby!!”
“Can you see what I mean? Here, I’ll turn on your mental lights.”
“Now, recall: Why do you need to find the matrix’s inverse? Well, who cares? It’s fun!”
“CANCER means divide. Oh, no! wait! CANCEL! Cancel means divide! The problem with cancer is that it multiplies!”
“I don’t understand sports. In sports, someone has to lose. In math class everyone can get an A!”</p>
<p>And one she said that I actually really liked…
“Trying to live an error free life is an exercise in frustration.”</p>
<p>My Formal Logic professor did a problem on the board, getting really excited while doing it. When she had proved it she said “I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.”</p>
<p>Business computing lecture:
“my bad side is as bad as my pleasant side is pleasant”</p>
<p>I have a British psychology professor who is pretty hilarious.</p>
<p>“Excuse me, may I touch your body for science?”</p>
<p>“When a woman’s eyes are dilated, she is either interested, or you are blocking the light!”</p>
<p>Talking about strobe-lights: "You see, I move my fingers like so… blbrlerarjejgjhgrrr. (motorboats the air in front of the strobe light)</p>
<p>…and it will have a similar effect like that of a discotheque. (starts moving jacket/half stripping in front of strobe light)"</p>
<p>lol clinggirl, i remember that video :P</p>
<p>one of my profs went berserk when this guy was texting and had some porn magazine in class. He yelled " GET YOUR ■■■ AND GET OUT OF MY CLASS!!"</p>
<p>It was intense. After the kid leave, the prof said 'let’s get back with the program" and continued lecture lol. and we were all scared after that</p>
<p>There’s a professor at my school who is famous for giving 5-minute lectures like this:</p>
<p><em>Walks in room, takes off coat, puts it down</em>
Completely seriously: “Comrades, there is big economic crisis in Europe. You may have heard. I must go and save the world. Goodbye.”
<em>Picks up coat, walks out of room</em></p>
<p>Apparently he’s really important, so he gets called away to these conferences around the world, and instead of e-mailing students to tell them class is cancelled, he shows up to class, gives this 5-minute lecture, then leaves to catch a plane, leaving his students looking at each other like, “Is he serious?” When they wait around for a while and he doesn’t come back, they realize he was serious. XD</p>
<p>Also, he’s from Russia, so all of this is said with a strong Russian accent, which just makes it all the more awesome.</p>
<p>^that would make me want to be an econ major… or atleast minor in it</p>
<p>^^ That sounds amazing. I’m usually PO when a teacher cancels without telling us. But that would actually make my day.</p>
<p>My math professor is really funny. There’s a thing in calc 2 that is an infinite geometric shape, which kind of looks like a horn. Someone pointed out that it would be hard to blow on a horn that is infinitely thin, and he replied, “well, you can really put anything in your lips and blow it, no matter how small it is.” Then he paused and looked around and said “ahh s***, that didn’t come out right!” and just went on teaching. It was really funny.</p>
<p>He also swears a lot. If he makes an algebra mistake or loses his place, he’ll say “ahhhh s***” or even mutter the f-word under his breath every now and then. It’s pretty funny.</p>
<p>MORE
pin/sticky this thread mods plz</p>
<p>A professor at my department once told our not-so-sharp classmate, “It’s okay, don’t try to think about it. Remember, thinking confuses you.”</p>
<p>haha these are REALLY funny!
So Im going to bump.</p>
<p>Professor: “On Thursday morning we have our final, if you miss you will fail. No excuses”</p>
<p><em>Some joker raises his hand</em></p>
<p>Professor: “What is it?”</p>
<p>Student: “What if I’m sexually exhausted from the night before?!?! You know how those sorority girls are!!”</p>
<p>Professor: “Then write with your other hand.”</p>
<p>The class went crazy after that! The whole auditorium went “ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!” and then the guy didn’t even show up for the final. I guess he was too tired to write, or maybe he was too embarrassed to show up.</p>
<p>^ LOL!!</p>
<p>10char</p>
<p>My teacher sneezed a big wad of lung butter onto the cuff of his shirt, said “wow, that was REALLY gross.” And then kept teaching, pointing to stuff on the board with this dangler on his sleeve. Twenty minutes later he wiped it on the side of his shirt.</p>