<p>So my friend, Justin, is going to be co captain w/ me for a competition.</p>
<p>PJ says she wants to be cocaptain with me after I said no because Justin is already cocaptain with me. </p>
<p>But then she went on this long rant about how Justin is graduating next year and she should be given the spot and that she "feels bad and doesn't want to be whiny" but it's better for her college applications (indirectly stated because she apparently said she likes the competition when the field isn't even what she wants to do in the future" =_=)</p>
<p>And PJ says she will talk to Justin about it a.k.a. convince & take advantage of nice Justin to kick him out of his spot.</p>
<p>But the thing is she was on my team last year and my MOTHER had to give her rides to MY OWN meetings, which made my parents a little upset and annoyed.</p>
<p>AND TO MAKE MATTERS EVEN WORSE, I know she talks behind my back. That's not to say it's completely true but you know you get that feeling? And plus whenever I post something in our little FB group, she would completely diss or give me some kind of attitude. It's like, talk behind my back and sweet talk me about this? Again, I have no completely solid evidence but it's pretty obvious to me.</p>
<p>But I don't dislike her. She's been a good friend to me but the beginning of this year I started dressing well and apparently her friends dislike me cause I've "CHANGED". Confusion, confusion.......</p>
<p>Who else thinks this is completely wrong? I mean you haven't shown any responsibility and if you want to be captain so badly form your own team right? What are your opinions about this? Am I wrong to have rejected her? Do I deserve a punch in the face?</p>
<p>ok I was in a similar situation when I was in freshman year. It was for this science fair thing and we worked in team. My friend and I decided on co-captaining but I was really stupid and asked someone more experienced. Not my best moment. </p>
<p>But honestly, did you even talk to your friend about this? From what it looks like here, this is just your speculations and may be skewed. (I have no idea how much of this is even true seeing how you say you “know” but it’s a feeling. I’m not really clear on that)
On the other hand, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a junior wanting some extra boost for their apps. Are you a junior? I am a senior now and I know I would’ve wanted a leadership position if I could. Her logic makes sense to me. and wouldn’t you want the same thing? Also not everything people do is for their future; I did speech and debate to “try it out” (hated it tbh)</p>
<p>to address your other concerns:
why did your mother have to give her rides? You didn’t state a reason. if she was just lazy then that’s not acceptable. but if she had difficulties getting around then you were the captain, you do have responsibilities for that
“being changed” is not necessarily a negative thing.</p>
<p>I get where you’re coming from. I just think you should talk to your friend to clear up the situation before you post a messy life problem that we can’t really help you on without more details. </p>
<p>I really hope it all works out. :)</p>
<p>I just feel it’s completely and utterly wrong to want to kick out the current captain. I mean, deal with it. Really. It’s like getting rejected from Stanford and giving a list of reasons why they should have been accepted. I also feel Justin is a better candidate. </p>
<p>And yeah okay maybe an extra boost is cool, but she especially mentioned “apps” and “Justin is a senior so it doesn’t matter to him” Honestly I’d much rather give a position to someone who is more passionate about something. And plus, why can’t she just captain for another team? It just doesn’t make sense to me. <- That’s the point right here. Captain for another team? Try it out at least? And why do you make a big deal out of being a captain when it’s something you want to “try out” as you had stated.</p>
<p>And thanks, it’s really not that big of a deal at all actually. I have better things on my mind. I was just curious and annoyed.</p>
<p>lololollol, grats on joining cc today?</p>
<p>eh, I just thought it wasn’t too kind that you didn’t even talk to your friend about this and speculated so much. Besides I may be biased due to personal experience here but I do feel like you’re being critical. Maybe your friend would like to co-captain with you because you guys are friends. Also you mentioned she did it last year, then she must like it enough if she wants to do it again and captain. Co-captains are also equal, it’s an agreement between two people to lead a team, not one offering a position to another. Like I said, you stated that she’s not a bad friend to you, then I find it sort of harsh how you worded this problem.
I’m sorry if I came across too strong; it’s just that I’ve had experiences with this and it didn’t end too well. </p>
<p>thanks haha! I actually had an acc before but I couldn’t remember the username…</p>
<p>I didn’t offer a position to Justin. We both agreed to work on this. (I worded it kinda weirdly cause I had originally wanted to be captain alone but Justin asked so I was like oh yeah sure.) Should have asked me earlier :P</p>
<p>Mehh it just hurt me when she just came straight out with this when she was annoyed at me in the first place. I felt used. And I’ve had tons of experiences where I was simply used. So I guess I’m vulnerable to this type of stuff. </p>
<p>But I didn’t talk to her about this because isn’t it obvious? I am already co captains with someone else…and that’s that.</p>
<p>I guess I am being a bit critical but things like this always happen to me and I’m just tired of it. </p>
<p>Well how did your experience end?</p>
<p>Well in freshman year, we had this science thing and I was supposed to cocaptain (well more like co-lead because it was a project not a competition) with someone else. And in the end I asked someone else who was more experienced than the person i was supposed to co-captain with. And i didn’t think much of it at the time, i just thought you know, gotta do what you gotta do to win. The person ( was my good friend then) complained (ranted) once but didn’t insist on it so I was like oh, no big deal. But then we just drifted apart. I never really thought about it, it was like eh, too bad. </p>
<p>and the exact same thing happened to me. Except this time I asked to get a position in this club my friend and I founded together ( my idea but he did the work) and he told me he already appointed all positions. I didn’t think i would mind so much but I flipped out and Idk i just felt really betrayed, you know? we were supposed to do it together. it’s not the position that really mattered(I’m involved in other ECs), it’s like… a friend did that and didn’t even tell me. Then I was like…man I did some ****ty things when I pulled that stunt in freshman year.</p>
<p>I’m only telling this on CC cause it’s anonymous xD ahha</p>
<p>also to worsen this experience I found out how the club person was going around justifying himself by saying bad things about me to our friends AND sponsors. I don’t even mind that I couldn’t have a position, but that’s a step too far you know what I mean?</p>
<p>I’m really sorry I think I came on too harsh but I’ve dealt with this, personal bias, meh</p>
<p>uh huh…lawl too bad i dont have that kind of mentality. too bad, so sad. </p>
<p>if she really wanted to co captain because we’re friends then she shouldn’t have mentioned apps.</p>
<p>meh, whatever. it was only some dumb thing i was curious about. it’s cool.</p>
<p>and now some advice for you: you’re too kind and you need to man up. life is all about survival of the fittest. really. you can’t always be this nice. LOL</p>
<p>end of discussion.</p>
<p>Are you implying that this might benefit your friend in their college application and you don’t want them to have that advantage?</p>
<p>that attitude may get you on top but remember it’s lonely up there. some advice back is that in the end, it’s not about survival, which I’m guessing is a synonym for success- college job all that jazz. It’s about happiness. In the end if you don’t have people who love you around, then you can be the richest, most famous person in the world and I would never want to be you. Time to sort out priorities. I almost feel sorry for your friend.</p>
<p>Actually I’m being dead honest here, I would want to be me LOLLLLLLLLL
Don’t worry, I’ve got my priorities sorted out.</p>
<p>My friend is incredibly and extremely competent in her field; I’m sure she’ll be fine. It’s not that I don’t want them to have that advantage; other people who want to do this even more shouldn’t be kicked out because of someone who is less interested in this…</p>
<p>hm okay, so PJ was honest with you. She obv. wants to do it if she has been doing it before. I’m sure if she’s "extremely competent in her field (i don’t know what you mean by field seeing how you’re in school but ok), she can lie and make up stories to convince you. I am not saying that you should’ve just offered her the position but all this talking bad about a friend on a forum is incredibly immature. </p>
<p>You’re exactly like my freshman self and the person I “partnered” with later. I do wish you the best of luck. LOLLLLLLLLL</p>
<p>
I’m talking “bad”? Thus far, I have never said anything “bad” about my friend. Actually, to be honest, she’s a nice kid and one of the coolest people I know. I just thought what she did this one time was wrong. You can’t judge how I feel about someone based on one single experience, let alone an ambiguous post on a college forum on the internet. Also, I’m pretty sure my friend does NOT want your “pity” and “sympathy”, and you are assuming that I HATE my friend, which I have told you, is not the case. </p>
<p>
Meaning she is good at what she wants to pursue in college (i.e. biology, medical field, or so she says)</p>
<p>Furthermore, this is College Confidential, full of people like me who are ambitious and strive for a broader educational horizon. It should be obvious to you that this is how people are like on this particular forum, but since it seems like you have forgotten your old username and you haven’t been on this forum in a long time…nevermind.</p>
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<p>If she’s obviously interested, she didn’t even go to the first meeting. I wanted her to be on my team, because I felt bad she wasn’t going to co captain with me, but she didn’t even go to possibly the most important meeting…so…that pushed me to post this. I don’t want her to hate me because we couldn’t captain together. But like I said, she didn’t even go to the meeting.</p>