Where do I go after leaving college?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>What do I do and where do I go? There are an infinite amount of choices to make I know, but I need a general direction.</p>

<p>I dropped out yesterday from college and it was the third consecutive time I've completely withdrawn from college, and the fourth time total. So I have four full semesters worth of W's. I decided to withdraw after my first class on Tuesday, when my professor slumped into the classroom like he had just taken a dump and groaned "hi" and the talked about how the successful people like him aren't that smart, they just worked really hard and stuck to the grind. The next day, I slept through my first three classes and then skipped the fourth one. What disturbs me about it is that I was really interested in the subjects I was taking but I cannot stand to be in the classes. I can't explain it but I have been to two colleges and I have hated every single class. I have hated my overall experience with both colleges. At the beginning I was just an innocent traveler, expecting great things in my life and full of dreams and mystical beliefs, but now it's like my life is over and I will just be a homeless man full of misery and despair because I failed for myself and for society. I have a really cynical view of society also, and I feel like most people are complete idiots who most of the time have no idea what they are talking about, and talk just to make themselves look or feel better, and I also feel like everyone is out for themselves and there isn't even a line crossed between families anymore. It's like one giant free-for-all where everyone is in a rat race and that is the accepted standard.</p>

<p>Anyway, to get to my point, my Dad has cut off all communication with me and has stopped funding me. He still has to pay for my rent by contract but is not paying for food. There's also a tuition reimbursement that should be coming in the mail, but I might starve by then. There aren't any jobs since my college is in the middle of nowhere. Any advice?</p>

2

<p>Get a minimum wage job. Live modestly (only on what you earn). Relax. Wait until you figure out what you really want to do.</p>

3

<p>Time to get a job and grow up.</p>

4

<p>Grow up meaning work in an office cubicle from 9-5, go home and watch fox news and have a beer, and then watch football on the weekends? Or grow up meaning write poetry? You have to be more specific.</p>

5

<p>Growing up means take responsibility for your life, whatever that means.</p>

<p>Get a job, pay your bills, and don’t spend more than you earn.</p>

6

<p>Yes clearly you are not intended for college right now. Doesn’t mean that in five years you might actually want to be there. Meanwhile, yes, you are on your own. You need to find a job, pay your bills and don’t spend more than you earn either in the area you are currently living or somewhere else. You may be couch surfing until you figure it out. Yes it it is free for all in that every single adult is making decisions regularly as you did when you decided college was not for you and sometimes other peoples decisions have impact on our decisions. It will be difficult for awhile while you strengthen your adult legs, but you’ll survive. You aren’t the first student that has quit college and had the parental dole shut down. We know several and they survived. If you don’t belong in colleges that is OK, only half the kids that start actually finish. It is not shameful, it is just what it is. If you have friends brainstorm with them what you can do, where you can go, how you can get there. Reconnect with old friends. Look for a job where there is food…even if it’s Big Macs…or a friend who can feed you for a while. Your legs are shaky now but they will get strong.</p>

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<p>Loserman, to be very specific: you need to get a job to support yourself financially. I don’t know if that will be in an office cubicle, or in a UPS shop, or as a clerk at a store, or a waiter, or a cook…But, you need to get a job.</p>

<p>The growing up will happen over time. </p>

<p>Good luck to you.</p>

8

<p>Drop out the college is not the end of the world. What is the end, however, is that you give up on dreaming and give up on trying your best. </p>

<p>Your professor is correct: The smartest may not be the one who finish the first. Yes, the world is not perfect. There are mean people in this world. A lot of them move ahead by stepping /trample on others. However, there are good people and people who are willing to help others. Find the right crowd and don’t be beat down by the mean ones.</p>

<p>As a parent, I understand where your father is incoming from. His action is an act of tough love. You need to find out for yourself: What you want to do with your life. We only live once. And we need to make the best out of it.</p>

<p>Cool down, chill out and think it through. College may not be the only way to be successful. There are plenty of examples of successful people who were not graduated from college. However, every one of them is not a quitter. They persist despite of difficulties. They take chances and they work hard. </p>

<p>Good luck and let us know how it goes.</p>

9

<p>Don’t look too far ahead. Right now “success” by anyone’s definition is finding a job and a place to live. After that you will define your own successes.</p>

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<p>Ummm…shouldn’t that tuition reimbursement be returned to dear old Dad? Who wrote the check in the first place? If you’re not in school and can’t find a job in your current location, wouldn’t the smart thing to do be to sublet and move? I’m sorry, but you seem wayyy too entitled to me! Four semesters of full withdrawals and two colleges? Seems you’ve been given plenty of opportunity to succeed on someone else’s dime and maybe it’s time to live in the real world for a change. Even if that means getting a menial job…frankly, you haven’t done anything to improve your own situation so I’m not sure that you can expect anything more than what any other HS grad would normally find available!</p>

11

<p>I find myself wondering if you have an underlying clinical depression.</p>

12

<p>Have you ever visited a counselor? You may be bi-polar.
Seriously, consider that you may need to consult with a mental health professional.</p>

13

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Agreed.
Depending on your location, you can earn money by shoveling snow, or doing yard work, or cleaning houses. It is up to you to find a way to support yourself. Your father was very generous supporting you fully for two years of failure in school. Time to take some responsibility for it, instead of blaming everything from college, to professors, to parents, to society for it…</p>

<p>Start by taking responsibility for what is going on in your life.</p>

14

<p>2 years of college and not a single credit to show for it. I can see why your folks said enough is enough.</p>

<p>I have a friend whose S did the same thing (at least he got 3 credit hours in 2 years). He is now working, married with kids, but still not settled in what he hopes will be a career.</p>

<p>But for now, you have a place to live, but no money for food. First things first, you need to get along until some money comes in. Start looking for a job immediately–try a job in a restaurant where you can eat there. Start selling your stuff–your textbooks are a place to start. Move on to selling your electronics and other unneeded items. Go to homeless shelters for food. </p>

<p>Our neighbor’s S sounded a lot like you. He finally joined the Air Force (at his parents’ insistence–he didn’t want to do it). What a difference it made in his life, right from boot camp. He was expected to accomplish things, he felt part of something bigger–it really changed his life…he ended up with skills that transferred to the civilian sector. </p>

<p>As another poster said–now is the time to become responsible for your own life. You didn’t take advantage of the cushy life your parents provided. The life you provide yourself may be harder, but you can take pride in that it will be all yours.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

15

<p>I really don’t believe in depression and all that prescription nonsense. If I am depressed it’s only because I feel like I’ve been scammed by the educational bureaucracy, my parents don’t love me, and I don’t have any income and haven’t found my purpose.</p>

<p>In regards to taking responsibility, I agree with that. That would be one of my main goals and objectives believe me. If I was able to live the way I wanted to autonomously and felt valued for my efforts, that would be really really good. The problem is this- I don’t know what I enjoy, what I want to be valued for, and what will sustain me. Getting a job JUST to get a job is just not good enough for me. On the flip side I would probably not dislike a job as a bartender or something. I mean, I am pretty flexible. I just can’t have the job be too bureaucratized or too mundane and routine.</p>

<p>In fact, my first school I was majoring in engineering and I would probably be guaranteed to get a job after graduating. But I made a decision then that I didn’t want to be doing work that I hated for the rest of my life even if I made a lot of money.</p>

<p>I do realize right now I don’t have a lot of options so my two problems are 1) I need to get A job to at least keep me breathing and then 2) Find out what I enjoy and feel valued for.</p>

<p>And the military isn’t for me, definitely. I have no reason to protect the country…idk what else to say about that.</p>

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<p>I don’t believe so neither do I believe I am entitled…his income is in the top 5% bracket, and that doesn’t include my mother’s income. He feeds me scraps and the bare necessities, and college has been one of the only times where he’s been generous. Besides, how am I going to survive without any money? I literally have no food, no gas, and the jobs are really scarce, I’ve already looked for almost two months. I would go somewhere else, but in that case I’d need more money to buy gas. The closest town is some 50 miles away.</p>

<p>And I don’t like how you say I had the chance to succeed. I don’t like your whole tone to be frank, because it reminds me of the people who say that the poor are stealing from the rich or that the poor don’t work as hard as the rich. In many cases that is utter BS. In terms of school, I don’t know what your definition of success is, but mine is mostly about learning. If that is my definition, then I’ve already succeeded. If my definition is to get a job in an office cubicle, then I’ve failed.</p>

<p>But thank you for most of the replies. I liked this and I think it suits me:</p>

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16

<p>At this moment, your definition of succeed should be survival, nothing more basic than that. If you are hungary you can’t learn. I think you will be a different person in 6 months.</p>

<p>I applaud your dad for making the hard decision, not that many parents have enough guts to do that.</p>

17

<p>My Dad is a jackass, unfortunately. I’m not surprised. We’ve never had a good relationship so I probably won’t talk to him again.</p>

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<p>What do you mean by that? Like in a more practical mindset?</p>

18

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<p>Loserman, honestly, I know you really believe your happiness and your survival is somebody else’s responsibility, and the world “should” care if you are fulfilled, but really, trully, nobody cares about this but you. You’re two years out of college. If getting a job JUST to get a job is just not good enouh for you? Perhaps getting a job in order to eat and have a place to live will be good enough for you, now. </p>

<p>Good luck. With this kind of spoiled attitude, I just hope you are able to stay employed.</p>

19

<p>I have noticed that most people do NOT care about their spirituality or sense of purpose the way I do. Most people are in the rat race and don’t think as deeply and conceptually about anything in the long-term. Considering I am **** poor broke and even have loans that have to be paid back in four months, I don’t think it should be labeled as spoiled. I’d re-label it as doing the right thing that I feel is in my best interest.</p>

20

<p>You have every right to pursue your spirituality on your own dime.</p>

<p>Most of us are in the rat race so our kids (like you) could go to college. I do think about future, and there are plenty of things (interests) I would like to pursue someday. Today, I have 2 young adults who I have to put through college, because I want to make sure they could support themselves someday.</p>

<p>There are many students on CC who are pursuing their dream of making it in the art/music world, or volunteering in some remote places. But they are doing it by hard work - holding down day jobs and performing at night, or living at some remote place without bare necessities (Africa). They are living with a sense of purpose, and I am sure spirtually they are very fulfilled. They are not wasting their parents’ money or their own time (2 years of college without anything to show for).</p>

<p>You need to get over yourself about thinking everyone is stupid.</p>