Hi parents, my D is suddenly very concerned that she maybe doesn’t have the right list of colleges to apply to. She has visited a ton of schools and one a lot of research, and decided she wants LAC-type, smaller schools.
Now,that she is doing the applications, she is finding herself wondering if “maybe this new college is good, or that one. Maybe she should apply to bigger schools? Maybe all her choices are wrong and she has too many reaches (she has 5 match and safeties though.) maybe she isn’t looking at the right colleges at all”, and so on.
Did your kids do this too? I reminded her of all the reasons why she chose the colleges she did, but it would be helpful to know if other kids go through this. Advice welcome, thanks!
If she is second-guessing and thinking about adding a larger college or two, I say let her. She is nine months from making a final decision about which college she’ll attend, and things change. I think it’s good to have some variety among her choices.
I agree with the above. Both my sons thought they liked medium sized schools above all other types but each had a larger university and a small LAC on their list in case they changed their minds in April.
Not at all. Ds1’s final decision came down to a LAC with fewer than 2,000 students more than 1,000 miles away and in-state uni with more than 50k kids. He wanted a strong community but was undecided what he ultimately wanted that community to look like – small classes taught by full profs with quirky classmates or big-time sports with a huge alumni network in more famial environs. He ultimately chose the LAC, but I was thankful he had a true choice. College can be a time to remake yourself, try out new things, stretch, grow. I think it’s healthy that your dd recognizes that she may want what she’s always assumed she did.
This is not an unusual reaction. There are so many choices and so many financial twists involved, it can be overwhelming to narrow things down. The process is long and takes some unexpected twists and turns. At least it did for our daughter. The sands shifted all winter and well into the spring even though she had some acceptances by early December.
My younger son put one LAC into the mix in case he decided in April he actually was okay with a smaller college. By April it looked even smaller than it had a year earlier! But it could have gone the other way. I don’t think kids should put out so many applications they shortchange the quality of them, but throwing in a bigger school or two is small change compared to realizing you aren’t happy with the choices come April.
Thanks again. It seems like a good idea to put at least one bigger school on her list. Luckily, we visited a bigger school early on, and she liked it, so I think,she can just add that back in.
^^^^That sounds like a good idea. As my S’s guidance counselor said, “It is all about giving yourself good options in the end”. So your D has any doubts, there is no harm to having a larger school on the list.
No, we did not. Got to stop at some point and focus. D. did not visit a lot, she visited only the ones on the list, and then focused on her finalists, which she visited many times with overnights. You cannot add schools indefinitely. I developed her list for fun and when I showed it to her, she just took it. It took me 2 years to develop, so D. visited only these few schools as they were well researched with ton of detailed information on a huge spreadsheet that did not feet on one page. I used D’s criteria, I know what she was looking for.
I think it natural for kids to second guess themselves. This is a high anxiety time for some kids, so I agree with @happy1 about giving yourself good options. What harm will it do to add a bigger school? Just the app fee and maybe another essay. Once she gets her acceptances, it may be a good idea to visit on admitted students day if budgets allow.
i gotta tell you…if you have figured out that a smallish LACis for you, then they are not all that much different and you won’t go that wrong picking any of them
^I disagree. I think small LACs can be quite different. Bard is nothing like Washington and Lee just for example. Not in location, not in type of student, not in what the core strengths are. At a bigger university you will find a much bigger variety of students and even at a party school you might find thousands of kids who aren’t partying. If you aren’t interested in Greek Life - with almost 90% participation at W & L, that only gives you about 200 students who aren’t Greek. At a big university you’d have thousands to choose from.
does she need merit / need aid to attend? If so, cast a wider net. We found the $$$ piece unpredictable.
is she done with her testing? My D went up substantially on her Oct. SAT. In retrospect I wish we had added another reach school or two to the list at that point. Might not have gotten in and probably not gotten $$ but…
For both kids we were really glad to have options at the end. The final 3 for each kid were very different from each other. Agree you should have at least one bigger (state flagship maybe) and one smaller on the list.
@4Gulls , how unpredictable was the $ aspect? Not actual numbers, but can you give me an example? I have to say, this is one part of the process I am clueless about. We have money saved for college, but obviously it would be nice if she does get some nice merit aid, and it might give us more leverage in influencing her choice. Do most colleges offer some Giana coal incentive to good studetns, or is it the full sticker price? She is done with testing, as she did really well the first time.
Honestly, my daughter did not second guess herself. She wanted a large state flagship, and applied to 5 of them. She did wonder at one point why she bothered applying to one of them since she liked it less than her safeties, but that was it for self-doubt. She was still testing in October and November because one of her schools had an automatic full tuition scholarship for a certain test score (and she needed 1 more point), plus the program she wanted was pretty competitive at two of her schools. The higher the scores, the more options there are, so she was willing to keep testing.
With the Common App, there’s little time and cost associated with the incremental applications except perhaps for some supplemental essay writing.
As you expand the app list, you should really really focus on the financial piece. One reason to do a lot of apps is so you wind up with good options among various types of schools and various price points. While you can guess-timate net prices so some extent, you really have to apply to find out that what the real number is going to be.
D had a larger list than many, partially because of finances (NCP situation was unpredictable), partially because she truly liked some pretty different schools.
She was glad to have many options and 3-4 truly affordable, truly appealing ones in the end.
@Lindagaf
It was unpredictable in different ways. First off, we had twins applying - so it was a bit of a puzzle for us, i.e. we needed to look at total cost for S + D, not just each one individually. We did not always find the calculators accurate. Many of the schools the kids applied to required CSS form with each school weighing assets/income differently. There were some long shots the kids applied to. For example, S applied to UC-Berkeley and got in - but the only way he could have gone is if he’d won a big national scholarship he’d applied for (which he didn’t). There were also a few “full ride” (tuition only) scholarships they applied for - and there was no way of knowing if they would get or not. Similarly, merit scholarships that both kids were in the test score ballpark for - but that weren’t guaranteed based on scores. Both kids won some … and lost some, but it was long after the final deadlines for college apps that we found out results. The state schools they applied to we knew we wouldn’t get aid, but a couple surprised us (pleasantly) with $4K a year merit + honors college.
I will also say that we did call a couple of the schools that were in the top 2 or 3 for each kid and ask if there was any way they could increase the package - and we were generally successful, although the success ranged from maybe another $1K to another $4K - but that’s per year. Every little bit helps.
Which leads me to next point. Make sure any merit aid is renewable for all four years. Have a clear understanding of any GPA required to keep. This is something I never thought to ask. It hasn’t been an issue for us, but I’ve heard of other horror stories where the aid evaporated. Be aware, too, that you’ll need to file FAFSA again every year and in some cases the CSS again, too. So long as your income / assets don’t change drastically you should be fine. Good luck.