<p>Different universities have different policies, but mine (I’m a prof) would almost certainly allow a retroactive withdrawal. I should also say that in my instructor role, I tend to be a stickler for the rules, and might very well have done what the prof did. If I were on the committee that hears petitions, though, I would most likely vote to allow the retroactive withdrawal. The committee is a more appropriate body to make decisions like this, IMO. </p>
<p>My advice: Go ahead and petition for a retroactive withdrawal (talk to the dean of students or similar person to find out the procedure and what the options are) and then focus on getting your son well.</p>
<p>Years ago I petitioned a Dean to have a “withdrawal” removed. All policy said no way-- but he did it. I asked for compassion, showed him maturity about my future plans and all that was on my plate - which made the class a big blooper for me. He did it and I still appreciate his compassion & encouragement that he offered. Good luck.</p>
<p>This is not something that you or your son should deal with, with the professor. In fact, it never should have been a matter for the professor. Does the professor even know the details of the situation?</p>
<p>And disability offices are not just for “extra time” or wheelchair access etc., they are supposed to deal with exactly this kind if situation, and the other appropriate resource would be a dean of students or similar administrator. You may need to work through both. </p>
<p>They may try to say that your son is over 18 and needs to talk to them himself. Don’t back down. He can sign a release. You can say that if he was in good enough shape to advocate for himself, then he wouldn’t need the advocacy in the first place. </p>
<p>A combination of ADHD and depression, clinical, with a psychiatrist for 3 years and recent hospitalization after a suicide attempt, should be more than strong enough documentation to get a medical withdrawal, and get the slate wiped clean.</p>
<p>No offense, but relying on communication with the professor is extremely misguided. You may have to stand up for your kid in a way that you have never had to do, here. It’s hard to do, but I hope you can persevere until the institution responds. Remember, squeaky wheels get the grease…If they don’t accommodate your son’s illness, then you may need to consult a lawyer.</p>
<p>Well I called the deans office and they said I need to talk to the Chair of English dept who’s out this week. They did say that if my son retakes the class next year, the new grade will replace the old one. Does that sound right, she was just an admin so I will double check.
My hesitation is the Texas Tomorrow Fund only allows him to graduate with 126 credits and he will have 124 as it stands now. The retake will only count as credits attempted right?
Will having the F on the transcript but not his GPA hurt his chances at a masters if he retakes the class?</p>
<p>It sounds as if you did not speak with the Dean, but just someone who works in that office, right? I would insist on speaking directly with the Dean of Students.</p>
<p>I have assumed that everyone in this thread who has suggested a retroactive withdrawal is talking about a withdrawal from all classes, but now I’m not clear – are some of you thinking the OP and her son should request a withdrawal from just this one class? If the former, I would think that the Dean of Students is the one to speak with, not the English Department Chair. If the latter, maybe you do need to speak with the department chair. But if it’s doable, I would think a retroactive withdrawal from all classes would be the best solution.</p>
<p>In any case, I think you need to speak directly with the Dean of Students and be very clear about the circumstances (serious suicide attempt, subsequent hospitalization, etc.) that is leading you to request a retroactive medical withdrawal for your son.</p>
<p>Have you thought about a medical withdrawal for the upcoming school year? It might be very helpful, especially given that your son is young for college.</p>
<p>You can request a retroactive medical withdrawal from all F or I classes. The I will become an F after a short time anyway. You will almost certainly be able to do this with a doctor’s certification, through the dean of students or your S’s adviser. Your S can do this himself, with your help. Often this can be done later, even years later. So don’t worry about it.</p>
<p>But why, oh why are you so concerned about grades and master’s degrees? PLEASE reread post #20. Your priorities are way off, and your kid’s life may literally depend upon your understanding of his psychiatric challenges. His schooling can easily be finished later, after he gains a better handle on his depression.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to your son and your family. Best wishes.</p>
<p>I may be way off base here so feel free to ignore me if that is the case but here goes. I have a small business. I had an employee who (I found out later) had some mental health issues and had taken at least one medical leave during his undergrad years. He went on to complete his degree. Fast forward some years and he comes to work in a very high thinking fairly stressful environment. He did not do well. I really felt for him as he was obviously in over his head resulting in another fairly major episode which required him to ultimately resign his position. </p>
<p>Are you certain that it will be in your son’s best interests to pursue a graduate degree? It seems you are concerned with getting him in grad school and I’m not sure that is the right angle here…</p>
<p>lots of successful people (including myself and my husband) do not have grad school degrees. In fact, lots of them do not have undergrad degrees). </p>
<p>I wish you well with this and it seems others have been able to offer some good advice. Please take this post in the spirit I intended it.</p>
<p>His psychiatrist thinks getting in a position to reach his goals is one important step and the best medicine. I am asking this forum for advice for college goals. We have suggested a year off, even not going to college if he doesn’t want to, he won’t hear of it. He will be watched closely, receive medication and counseling, take only 4 classes.
I honestly don’t know what else to do. He, academically, can do this. He had a 3.5 and all those credits show his college readiness. Emotionally he says it was an impulsive and stupid thing to do and wont consider it again. We have tried an ADHD coach before but I guess we could try again. One counselor said ADHD makes you feel like you are running a race with a ball and chain on your leg, but you still have to finish the race. So I am open to any further suggestions. Believe me it’s going to be brutal watching him drive back in the Fall.</p>
<p>I agree that a retroactive medical withdrawal is quite possible and well worth considering.</p>
<p>Wouldn’t such a withdrawal ease your and his mind about attaining his academic goals? </p>
<p>What would a retroactive medical withdrawal mean for the loan? Perhaps he would not have to earn a 3.7 from now on.</p>
<p>I understand that his psychiatrist is in favor of returning to college in the fall and working toward academic goals. What is the psychiatrist’s view on whether a retroactive medical withdrawal should be taken for this past semester?</p>
<p>Ebeee, I know what you are saying. The fact of the matter is that whatever emotional/mental illness the OP’s son may well be something he will have to address for the rest of his life. It may not much matter what he chooses to do in terms of a career. It can be argued by many that some jobs that are the run of the mill are even more stressful for those who are not suited for them. And it seems like an academic track is what this young man wants. If it does turn out that it is detrimental to him, he should drop it, certainly. But I think right now it’s a matter of getting him out of crisis and then trying to find out what pushed him over. Was it the difficulty and the stress of the academics? Did something happen socially? It’s going to take a while to work all of that out.</p>
<p>Personally, if one of mine went to that extreme, he would not be going away for undergrad. I would insist that he go to a local school and commute. My friend very sadly had to make that stipulation for her anorexic daughter after a life threatening relapse. She felt that because until the girl turned 24, she was dependent on the parents money for college in terms of financial aid, she, as a parent would exercise her right not to pay for away school when her D’s life could be in jeopardy, and the parent wanted to be keeping a close eye on her. And she did relapse, and they did get her in treatment–again. In this case, it worked out. The D was very resentful to be commuting but by the time she went to graduate school, she understood that she had a serious ailment that required close observation and intervention from loved ones. She went to Columbia for a grad degree and is now in her 30’s with a child. Until she became a parent, she told me, she fought anorexia every day, every meal, always in the presence of food. Even now she automatically counts the calories of any food items and tends to scrimp. She still goes to counseling and if her weight drops over a couple of weeks time, she needs to really focus on her problem. And anorexia is not as quick of a way to die as most suicidal folks seek. That too is an illness, and my opinion is that it takes someone like a parent to keep an eye on the aberrant signs during the acute years of this issue.</p>
<p>Call and make an appointment with the dean, and go with your son, with an MD letter, hospital discharge and any other documentation that might help. If it is too far from where you live, then you can do it by phone, but also put it in writing and enclose documentation from the MD.</p>
<p>Many of us seem to feel that a medical withdrawal would wipe the slate clean and allow your son to feel that he can start again, fresh. Does this appeal, or are there financial consequences that are unacceptable? Would this help your son feel that damage was undone, or would it feel frustrating to have to do the entire term over again?</p>
<p>Office staff may send you to the English department, and the English department may then send you back to the dean. These things happen all the time. I think a lot of us agree that talking directly to the dean would be best. </p>
<p>Even without a release, by the way, you are allowed to talk to them, they just cannot talk to you.</p>
<p>Look into getting a reduced course load accommodation from Disability Services next semester. They count you as full-time, so you usually are able to retain your financial aid, but you take less than a minimum course load.</p>
<p>There is much good advice on this thread. I think it’s difficult as a parent to curb the urge to “fix things” as quick as possible. Most parent if their baby lost their woobie would be out looking for the same woobie as fast as possible. Only that “woobie” is high stakes now. Hopefully they can trust the doctor who feels he’s OK to return to school or that “school” is just exactly what this student needs. 19 is still a very tender and young age…especially for boys. Mind were pretty darn “tender” when they toddled off to college at 19 as freshman…this one is “technically” a junior, which is also a tough, tough year of the four. Fix what can be fixed with the transcript and approach cautiously the return to college is my advice.</p>
<p>Do his meds for depression include meds for ADHD? Sometimes the two conflict with each other. It’s interesting that HE states it was impulsive (a CLEAR ADHD/ADD issue). So, if he is depressed his brain isn’t making the correct chemical levels needed to feel like he can go forward - but his brain is also mixing up the chemicals it does make and distracting him which causes impulsive behaviors. This is clearly a medical issue. But, that also means it is an issue that can be treated. It’s great that he wants to continue to try - he needs more tools to understand the challenge of the ball and chain - and the race. </p>
<p>The focus should be the immediate future in school. The worst case scenario is not whether he loses the money or he doesn’t get into grad school…the worst case scenario is that his attempt could have been successful. So, his entire support system has to concentrate on the present, one day at a time - and at least until today feels stable and productive, let the rest of it go - it will work out.</p>
<p>Blessings to you, your family and your child.</p>
<p>It might be useful to consider that the meds themselves can cause impulsive suicide attempts, or thoughts persistent enough to result in the attempt - especially in this age group.</p>
<p>Thank you, I had no idea one could request that he take a reduced load through disabilities. I will discuss all of this with him.
Frankly I didn’t like his psychiatrist from the hospital but my husband did (I googled him earlier today and he got pretty poor reviews overall) so I really should consider his advice warily. He has an excellent psychiatrist here and I will be talking with his psychologist soon to gauge his progress before we make a decision.<br>
Much of his turmoil revolved around being too emotionally dependent on friends. Then when several friends planned to transfer colleges and the girlfriend who he thought was “the one”
was clearly not, he crashed.
I wish he would consider a school nearby but this is the only one with this program.
Obviously he is more important than any degree but failing at something he wants can also lead to depression. BTW, good point about it being our support, our final decision.</p>
<p>I am with you on the ADHD meds subject. We fought giving them to him for years and when we did, we doled them out. Now he has to regulate his prescription and I do wonder if he may be taking them more than directed at a time. That stuff is mind and personality altering even when taken as directed.</p>
<p>I will ask him about wiping the slate clean. It would be ok financially I just don’t know about whether he would want to do all over. But w/ 2 cs and an f he might jump at the chance and he wouldnt have to finish the other two I classes this summer. Well get our decisions in order then contact them next week.
Btw his internship is going great, the boss emailed his teacher today with a glowing report which helps his confidence.</p>
<p>Try to check the college website or make a phone call to contact the disabilities office (sometimes it is “accessible education” and sometimes it is done through a dean’s office, but many schools have “disabilities services.”). Do their paperwork and submit documentation to get your son registered. It is much better to do this before trouble happens, rather than reacting later (now that you know there is a documentable problem, including hospitalization).</p>
<p>The info given to disabilities folks is usually confidential. It can help get a student housing options that are helpful (single, or quiet, or whatever), reduced courseload, and various other accommodations (longer incompletes, extensions, excused absences for appointments of illness, notes from class, that kind of thing). There are also some new technologies that can help, such as Dragon or the Smart Pen (takes notes and also records at the same time).</p>
<p>In the meantime, getting the medical withdrawal will most likely not be through disabilities but through the dean. Don’t take no for an answer from office staff, and make it clear that you have documentation.</p>