<p>I am thrilled that D will be home this summer. I'd mentally prepared otherwise, as she was talking about several options that didn't include coming back here. I was happy earlier this week(yet guilty) that she was NOT chosen for a prestigious internship that she had applied to; she was told by her profs that it would be unlikely for her to get it, since she has only finished her first year of school, so she wasn't really expecting it. That notification finalized her decision...she's going to take an online history course so she can take even more heavy-duty science classes on campus. Of course, I'm no fool. The reason she's coming home is that her bf is doing an internship here. (They go to different schools), so they are really looking forward to the summer. I'm not expecting to see too much of her, but still.... I'll be glad she's "home".</p>
<p>Yes, DD will be home, well at least based in our home, and working for the summer. We'll have a full house, as her college grad siblings now rent their rooms from us :)
If last summer is any indication, it will be a rare day that all 5 of us will actually have dinner together or be asleep at the same time ;)</p>
<p>D1 will be home again after sophomore yr. She has another paid internship that we found through family networking. We like when she is home. We set ground rules and expectations the first year and so far so good! She knows she is blessed with no loans and no payments on her part as long as she abides by the family rules. She loves taking friends to the lake/cabin and boating and not paying rent even if that means doing her laundry, cleaning her bathroom, doing dishes and helping around the house when necessary. We set the rules and so far all has been fine. It's comfortable being home but there are chores and expectations.</p>
<p>I imagine that for those of us parents whose student does not return to the parents' home this first summer there will be no repeat of the transition we (both the student and the parents) experienced at the end of the summer after the senior year in HS. THAT sure is a plus.</p>
<p>I have noticed throughout my S's freshman year, that as each break came and went, he seemed more self-assured in making and living with his choices since (1) he had to pay for what he did and where he went and (2) he experienced no "grief tax" from us if he didn't stay long to visit us.</p>
<p>S is already working on an internship for the following summer in DC (a long way from where we live).</p>
<p>In reading the posts in response to my Original post, it struck me that when I was in my 20's-40's and was on vacation, I would stay our later and sleep in the next day. Do you think that some students think of college summer break as a vacation? If so, isn't their behavior "ADULT"? Seems that a possible solution is for the parents whose kids return to the nest for the summer to firmly establish whether they (the parents) view the summer as the student's vacation.</p>
<p>Since we are on the same page with our S that this summer is a time for him to earn next years spending money, if he wants to be able to do much and/or go anywhere at breaks during the school term, his choice to take an OOS job that will net him more than being in town and working would seems the "adult" decision for him. </p>
<p>I don't think my desire to see him more should trump this.</p>
<p>You raise an important question, re: is it vacation or not?</p>
<p>Hmmm. Here's our take, which is probably different than most, but coming from some significant life events that H and I have experienced...</p>
<p>We consider D's "job" to be a college student, and to get good grades. We pay the $$$ that's not covered by scholarships, and give her spending money....She knows that grad school will follow, and in order for her to have the best possible experiences/options, she's jumped in with both feet, in terms of tough classes, a research assistant position as a freshman, etc. Our mantra for her college experience, though, is that it should be FUN, and not something to endure. She's having the time of her life, and has earned straight A's. Thus far, she's certainly held up her end of the bargain.</p>
<p>We DO consider her summer to be "vacation". She's going to be taking a history class at the local CC (to get rid of that remaining requirement in basic req's), and she's figuring out what she wants to do the rest of the daylight hours. (Her bf has a 9-5 internship, so I've already assumed that from 5:01 on, we won't see her.) I'll expect her to do her laundry, keep her areas clean (not a problem, she's pretty OCD about her "stuff" being put away), and help out (some!!), but it's up to her of whether she works or not. We're "retired" and having her around to hang out with during the day will be fun... Our summers tend to be kind of strange anyway, at least for the last 3 years. H and D2 will be gone for 5 weeks from late June to early Aug (Kilimanjaro, etc.!) and I've planned to go play "Thelma and Louise" with a friend up in the Northeast, and probably will retreat to a mexican beach during part of July, as well, so I don't think we'll have a chance to get too sick of each other.</p>
<p>I may have a different story to tell in August, but at this point I can't wait to have her around to tell stuff to in person, instead of IM, e-mail, texting or calling!!!</p>
<p>My freshman S is applying for a internship/RA job at his school for a summer HS student program. If he gets that, he may be home a few weeks. If that does not come through he will be home and probably working at some waiter job. That will make him very unhappy but will end up with big money for back to school.</p>
<p>Here's a question that's not related to this thread, but thought I'd ask. Do your college-aged children still want to go on family vacation with you. My son (current freshman) doesn't want to vacation with us. Last year he went away with friends as a last hurrah before they all went away to college. Do any of you have experience leaving your college-aged children home while the rest of the family goes on vacation?</p>
<p>No, we can't get rid of our college daughter. Every vacation she wants to come. We have a lot of good memories around all of our family vacations. I am trying to plan a vacation to south asia and it might not coincide with her breaks, she is having a fit. On the other hand, we also can't imagine going on family vacation without her.</p>
<p>I read all about empty nest syndrome in another thread, about how you parents are crying b/c your s's and d's are leaving for college. And then I see this thread about you not wanting your children back for the <strong>ENTIRE</strong> summer. Why wouldn't you want to see your kids for as much time as you can? </p>
<p>Any ASIAN parents have anything to say on this? We sure have different values/family dynamics. We are expected to live at home until marriage. Many people are even expected to live at home after marriage, to take care of their parents. Of course, none of this is set in stone, but we always have the option of living at home, knowing that our parents actually WANT US THERE. Sending a chinese parent to a "home" for elders is a BIG NONO. </p>
<p>What's this I hear about parents asking their fresh college grads to PAY RENT if they want to move back home? Wow...talk about different values. </p>
<p>Then I hear about parents not tapping into their retirement funds to help their kids pay for college. I'm not saying that anyone SHOULD do that, but I'm sure chinese parents would go in debt to let their kids go to their dream school. That's because they know we will take care of them when they get older. Chinese parents don't have to worry about saving for retirement. That's what their children are there for.</p>
<p>I think the majority of posters on this thread would like their kids home for the summer - I know I would. But if they have an opportunity to do something important to them, as my daughter does, that means they will not be home for the summer then we are willing to put their wish to do that ahead of our wish to have them home.</p>
<p>And one of my daughters high school friends is Chinese and I know she is not planning to come home for the summer. Don't know if her parents expected her to or not.</p>
<p>Sons are taking courses during first summer session then coming home to work as lifeguards at the beach. This might be their last summer on the beach because they'll be applying for internships next summer.</p>
<p>Lets see -- summer at the beach -- in my next life I want to come back as one of my sons!</p>
<p>As for vacations -- they still enjoy our company, particularly when we pay! Who wouldn't?</p>
<p>Oddly, since I'm one of the folks who thinks that a whole summer home could lead to conflicts, our college-aged kids DO vacation with us. With two in school now the scheduling gets a little difficult, but we did a short family trip to Washington D.C. over Christmas, and it was great, and we hope to coordinate schedules to take some other family trip this summer - maybe to a reunion with DH's family.</p>
<p>Being somewhere different, with things to do as a family, and no work/school responsibilities creates a great atmosphere, and we have a great time. </p>
<p>Both my sons who are in college have year-round contracts for housing, so it makes more sense for them to take a couple of courses and come home for a couple of weeks. </p>
<p>It's lots of fun when the three boys get together. They are so close in age, and have so many shared interests and experiences. They speak their own shorthand.</p>
<p>I think my kids would still vacation with us - if only we could afford a vacation :( .</p>
<p>I hear you!!!!</p>
<p>We have an extended family get-together in the same place every summer, (where we recently bought a house which we will hopefully soon move to) and my kids almost always make it there, even the 25 year old. It's a tradition they look forward to, even though we've lost some family and w're not all in the same house anymore. They don't always make it, but they are always glad if it works for them.</p>
<p>I have a friend who said--kids will come on vacations they don't have to pay for--at least, ones like mine who certainly don't have unlimited funds for other options! </p>
<p>Like many here, mine always needed to work in the summer for pay, so these unpaid internships or summer classes described in some posts were really not an option, unless they found a way to make up the money. But I envy y'all who had the extra to facilitate that--just wasn't an option for us.</p>
<p>SO- its official, my D will not be home AT ALL this summer- well, maybe for a couple of long weekends, but she is working 35hours a week, staying in her dorms and enjoying summer in NYC....sigh</p>
<p>But she is THRILLED!!! She will miss her friends and may be at a loss sometimes for companionship some evenings, but she is resourcefull enough to keep busy and make new friends with others also working or studying at the school</p>
<p>Life moves on</p>
<p>After freshman year (2009 summer), my daughter is planning to be a camp counsellor at a camp that would fill over half of her summer weeks - I think this will work for us. It still gives us a few weeks to enjoy having her in town, but not so long that we will all drive each other crazy.</p>
<p>You know, anyone who is looking for something for their kid to do that doesn't involve them staying at home - Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky Ohio has dorms for its summer workers. And a number of kind of fun programs for the workers, who include many international kids. If you can't see your kids at home, instead of paying to send the kids somewhere, let them go somewhere and earn money.</p>
<p>Interesting that camp counselor as a summer job is mentioned. </p>
<p>I looked at the escalating gasoline prices, the rising food costs and apartment rental/out of pockets (rising utilities) and realized that a job after freshman year that covers room, board, utilities and has no transportation costs for weeks at a time AND pays money to boot is a pretty good deal.</p>
<p>S1 and S2 have worked at a summer camp since they were 17 and 16 respectively, so I haven't had children at home for summer for 3 years. It is a family camp, so I go and visit them for one week out of the summer.</p>
<p>As for family vacations, we still do them together and I am hoping that continues. We go to a 4-day camping music festival in the spring. We did a short road trip to LA last year. Then, I lure them with periodic big trips. We went to the Galapagos a few years ago and as S1 will be in Thailand for a semester, I'm hoping S2 and I can join him for some traveling in the area.</p>