<p>My youngest, who will be completing her first year of college, is going back to the Y camp where she was a counselor for the last two years and, before that, a camper. It's about 2 hours from home and she gets one day and one night off each week. We probably see her three to four times during the 9 weeks she'll be at camp. This year, unlike other years, she'll have time at home before camp starts. Our family is renting a beach house for a month in May/June and she's welcome to come. It's a great spot and I know she's planning on going and inviting college friends.</p>
<p>This is a sore point with W and I. DS, our only child, is a soph at MIT but hasn't spent a full summer at home since 2003. Little did we know that the summer after 9th grade would be our last full summer together as a family.</p>
<p>2004: 6-week summer session away at college
2005: 6-week summer program
2006: 10-week summer internship, company #1 (NYC)
2007: 10-week summer internship, company #2 (Boston close by!)
2008: 10-week summer internship, company #3 (Boston, close by!)</p>
<p>On the positive side, at least he's close to home (an hour drive) so we can see him (albeit briefly) fairly often. But, alas, extended time together is rare and treasured. When he does come home, it is brief and ends with "gotta get back--don't want to miss anything."</p>
<p>DS, a freshman and our youngest, is coming home for the summer and will be commuting by train into the city to work in a lab. Last summer he barely worked, and spent a lot of time lounging around wondering why his friends (who had to get up early to work) could not go out on a Tuesday night. I think this year will be different. He is looking forward to being home and we are looking forward to having him! We will all go fishing in PA as many weekends as we can.</p>
<p>DD graduated from college in 2007 and is now living and working on the "left" coast in San Francisco. I think she will come back to NY for Thanksgiving. </p>
<p>We spend a week or two every summer on the beach in Carlsbad, CA - HUGE family tradition. D is saving up her vacation to be able to join us, S will be done with work by then. This year at least, we are lucky!</p>
<p>My D will be in NYC and we are in SF...so...at least if I want to splruge and visit her, its a nifty place to go!!!</p>
<p>citygirlsmom - I feel the same way, in reverse!</p>
<p>DD was home last summer (after freshman year) but worked so much and such crazy hours we didn't see her all that much. She's landed research position this summer with a very decent stipend (some housing & travel $ also) so she'll be in Houston. We'll get her for a few days at the beginning and the end. Her days of living here for long stretches appear to be over. </p>
<p>Now this house is too big for us (and 4 cats), but it needs too much work, that we can't afford, to sell and several houses on this street have been for sale for over a year!</p>
<p>I'll have 2 home from college, both working and volunteering. </p>
<p>When the oldest got home after freshman year, he started sleeping in and staying out late. Gas in the cars mysteriously disappeared and the house started looking like a bombshell hit. The other two watched and I could tell they thought that being a college kid was going to be sweeeeeeet. I decided I didn't want to spend the next 12 years of my life dealing with college-aged children, so I sat all of them down and made a deal with them. </p>
<p>I pay their tuition bills and give them food and a place to sleep. I'll also pay the electric bills for their computers and IPOD chargers. I'll pay for their summer classes if they want to earn extra credits, and will be paying for their LSAT and PCAT exams this year. </p>
<p>In return, they wake up by 8:00 every day even if they aren't going to work in the morning (otherwise, we get up at 5:00 -- we're early risers) to help with family chores. They will not be out after midnight (they know I won't sleep until they get home) out of thoughtfulness since I'm old and cranky. They clean their rooms and assist with cleaning the rest of the house, cook and wash dishes, cut the grass, do the grocery shopping, help with their Dad's care since he's ill, drive their sibling to summer classes and clean/maintain the cars until I graciously agree to take them back to school.</p>
<p>I've told them that I won't be offended if they want to get jobs as summer camp counselors or if they want to go somewhere else during summers, but so far they still come home and follow the rules. It's not boot camp, it's a family working together. Life is good.</p>
<p>Your daughter might be able to find a summer job and get a short term rental.
My daughter and 5 friends have found jobs and are renting a small cottage for the summer in Cape Cod.</p>
I had to go home in the summer to earn money toward school the next year, and I had to hand over my paychecks to my father and still ask permission to access any cash. It was VERY hard that first summer in particular, but it is what I had to do. Now I have twins daughters home for the summer. They both have internships at the company my husband and I work for so they are earning decent money on a 9-5 work week schedule in an air conditioned building. I also let them have access to their money, but encourage them to save as much as possible for next year, a lesson they learned the hard way this school year when one was never able to get a work study job and the other was given only a quarter of the hours she’d been promised. I know that they would rather be indulging in travel opportunities or unpaid internship opportunities and one would really like to be living with her new (and first ever and therefore all consuming) S.O., but the reality is they need to be earning money. With college costs, we can’t afford to even do a small family vacation, so day trips on weekends are the only family time we get. I would like them to be home over every summer until graduation, but I know that eventually they will likely find an internship or something, but there is no question, whatever they are doing, they have to have a grant to do it and/or be earning money toward the next school year. It is a privilege to be able to pursue life experiences like travel and such, and I wish I could provide it, but instead I’m providing them with room and board, which they are too immature to truly appreciate, but I now it is the right thing for now, even if they are annoyed. I love having them here and I miss them when they are gone, but this summer is showing me that the time for separation is truly coming - both from home, and more importantly from one another (as I said they are twins, and they are at different schools but only 6 miles apart).
Our son will be home this summer, with a good internship that he can commute to from our house, so it seemed to make sense! Some of the first posts on this thread scared me a little, I really hope we can be three working adults in the house (as compared to when we were 2 parents and a high school student) and have it go smoothly. At his college the summer between sophomore and junior years is required to be spent on campus, so we assume this will be his last summer spent at home and hope it is fun for all! As for vacations, this is the first time we have not invited him along with us, but that’s more because we had to make our plans before we knew what his were going to be, rather than not wanting him along.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: Please use old threads for reference only. This thread is from 2008.