Hola,
Could someone please read my main common app essay, which I wrote on “a topic of my own choice,” and give me some feedback? Gracias, much appreciated.
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Each night, I lay in my bed in Brasilia and looked out of a crystal clear window that awakened a love in me that continues to burgeon even today. Each night, the sun set, letting dusk take over, giving way to the inspiring spectacle of the night sky the scintillating stars, the swirling galaxies, the small clouds of nebulae, and of course, the desolate moon.
As I gazed up at the cosmos, I heard my father asking me to come to bed so he could read to me my bed-time story. Every night, before I went to sleep, he would read me a chapter from the encyclopedia, The Young Scientist. I would be riveted every time he read to me because he would lay out before me the answers to all my little questions about the universe. For an eight-year old, learning why the star, north of my building, twinkled as it did was utter bliss.
I remember the night he read the last chapter. We had finished the entire encyclopedia. I felt as if I knew everything. Ironically, however, that very night, I found a question to which I did not have an answer. I saw a streak of blue light zoom across the night sky. Having finished an entire encyclopedia, I assumed I would know what that blue light was, but I didnt. I sensed an urge of curiosity burning up inside me; I wanted to know what that light was. Immediately, I told my dad that I wanted him to read me another science encyclopedia.
However, what he brought the next night didnt satisfy my desires. As he was keenly interested in medicine, he brought a medical encyclopedia. As he read to me, I could hardly pay attention because the night-time sky called to me. I couldnt help staring out of the very window that awakened in me the love of astronomy and deciphering of the heavens. It was then I realized what I wanted to explore the universe. I asked my father to stop reading. A surprised look came over his face. I explained that I wanted to learn more about what was out there out in the universe. He smiled, knowing that a flame of curiosity and a passion had been born inside me.
My childhood intrigue and awe of the universes beauty continues to grow, for I view the world through the eyes of a poet often writing about the smiling moon in a carnival of the star-spangled sky. I am mesmerized by the notion of infinity and our majestic universe. Now, however, my poets eye is complimented with my scientific and mathematical training and passion. Now, the ideas of galactic structures and string theory and those of calculus and analytic geometry dance in my mind. I am in love; my mistress is the universe, whom I long to know as intimately as possible as scientist, mathematician and poet.