Anyone have any experience with this? My daughter decided to live with (what she thought was) her BFF from Brown and it’s turned into a disaster. The roommate says abusive things to my daughter like, when my daughter got upset about something, “I have a mentally challenged child (brother) at home; I don’t need to live with one at school” and other hurtful things in the same vein. My daughter has ADHD and anxiety and this is definitely affecting her studies. She had a difficult time last semester (not with her roommate) and was just turning a leaf this semester when all this started happening.
I’m not naive; I’m sure my daughter plays her part in the conflict (heaven knows she’s hard to live with) but I don’t want this affecting her school work as she has enough challenges in that regard.
Any suggestions?
I’m sorry she has to deal with this. Those are mean things to be told, and dealing with that kind of conflict can really affect your mood and motivation.
Have you looked on the school website? I found this: http://reslife.brown.edu/Overview/policy/room_change.html
I suggest she:
Speak to her roommate directly.
If that doesn’t help, speak to the RA
If that doesn’t help go to ResLife and ask about switching rooms mid-semester.
Thanks for the suggestions. Speaking to the roommate has not been helpful.
I am thinking about flying out to help her deal with this and to let her stay in a hotel with me until we figure out her living situation. She suffers from anxiety and depression and I don’t want this to be a situation that derails her this semester. On the other hand, I don’t want it to seem like I don’t think she can manage things on her own. I’m really worried, though. I don’t know what to do?
Should I fly out?
@Emsmom1 I would not fly out—I think it’ll have more backlash than benefits to your daughter. There should be plenty of resources on campus for her to access directly instead. I agree with happy1 that she should speak to the RA and community director first.
She should explain that speaking to the roommate has already happened and not been helpful, and that it’s becoming a real problem for her. They should be able to make an except and find her a new room without having to wait until next semester.
Since your daughter has mental health concerns and is dealing with a verbally abusive living situation, I think it is appropriate to contact the Dean’s office. Is there anyone in the Dean’s office or the Counseling Center whom your daughter worked with when she had a difficult time last semester? If so, could you or your daughter contact that person? Or stop by the open office hours that the Dean’s office holds every day?
Here is the page with contact info for all the Deans https://www.brown.edu/academics/college/people There are a couple listed who focus on health and personal issues; I would get in touch with them.
@ciervo-thanks for the suggestion. She does have a relationship with a dean who helped her out last semester. I had forgotten about that. I will have her contact him.