DD applied to 8 schools. 2 safeties, 3 expected and 3 reaches. She was accepted to all. We have saved and have enough nest egg (plus scholarship’s) to afford all but one (TCU).
Safety school number 1 which is 11 miles away, offered her scholarship and grant aid to cover all tuition, fees and books, has a great nursing school, which is her major choice (bio being second choice). We can easily cover campus housing and meal plan, as we insist on Freshman year in the dorm’s. (she needs to experience this).
All other schools offered combo’s of scholarship and grant aid that would keep all but the one school UNDER our budget for 4 years. (Definitely blessed for sure).
DD is extremely fiscally conservative, and Mom and I are concerned that she will choose solely based on the economics being favorable for safety school #1. She has two WUE options (UN Reno and Montana State) that are attractively priced and offer everything she is interested in. She like both of those schools very much and also the communities they are located in.
I know this sounds really strange, but we don’t want her to place too much decision value on cost. We prepared for this, she worked hard to receive the scholarship’s and we are excited for her. Am I making too much of this? I don’t really believe any of these schools have any significant “legacy” advantage in her desired Nursing program, they all perform quite well and are quite selective Nursing schools.
Her last conversation with me yesterday went like this, “Safety school #1 will enable us to save a bunch of money (like $40k over 4 years). If I don’t spend all that money on college, you could use the rest to help me buy a house!” Seriously, what 17 year old thinks like that? I know I didn’t. Mom and I would be happy to help her like that, but don’t want her to regret the opportunity to go to a school that she might have liked better…except for cost.
Any thoughts as to how I should be thinking about this would be appreciated, I think the problem is mine, not hers!
For nursing, she should also consider whether she has direct admission to the major at each school; if not, she should consider how competitive is it to get into the major at each school where she does not have direct admission.
You said she is interested in nursing. Has she been admitted to a direct entry nursing program at any of these schools. I would start there and then whittle down (z-posted)
“Her last conversation with me yesterday went like this, “Safety school #1 will enable us to save a bunch of money (like $40k over 4 years). If I don’t spend all that money on college, you could use the rest to help me buy a house!””
Well, the obvious answer is that you’re not going to give her any money saved. You’ll pay for whatever college she selects, but choosing a cheaper one doesn’t mean she gets the difference. That takes the incentive out.
If you really don’t want money to be a factor, you tell her no, she can’t have what is saved.
I personally think money should be a factor and that your daughter is pretty smart. Did you let her apply to any schools you wouldn’t want her to go to? Why are they now unacceptable because they are more affordable than you expected? But it is your money to spend as you please.
Hey, she may love the cheapest school. Many students really do want to go to the school closest to home, want to go to the school that gave the biggest scholarship (it’s nice to feel loved), want a more familiar atmosphere. Some friends were looking all over for a school for their very smart boy and finally realized that just because the flagship was in their backyard didn’t make it a bad choice. He lived in the dorm, came home on Sunday nights for dinner and to do his wash, usually brought his same-age cousin with him, and it worked out great. I’m not sure it was even 11 miles away! My nephew attends a school about 30 miles away and comes home 2-3 times a month, sometimes not even staying overnight. He works as a ref and if he has a game in town, he’ll stop by, eat, steal some food, eat again, pat the dog on the head and go back to school.
My kids are 150 and 2000 miles away and I wish they were closer. I’d love to see them play their sports, go to parent events, even see there class projects or performances. I’m always getting emails or FB posts with events happening at the school and I wish I could go. There are benefits to being close to home for both the student and the parents.
Be happy your daughter is easy to please. She might have other reason than money to pick the close to home school (because it is close to home!), but even if it is just the money, it makes her feel good to make a fiscally good choice. The other schools are necessarily better because they cost more.
I agree about the direct admission issue that others have posted. In addition, social fit/development and career opportunities can be key factors to consider.
Social fit/development
Has she visited all of the candidate schools? How did she like the dorms? How did she think she fit in with the students she met? Do certain schools have specific clubs or activities that interest her? Which schools does she think will give her the best social experience?
Career opportunities
Have you compared graduation rates, pass rates for nursing exams, percent of students with internship experiences, and job placement rates and salaries at graduation? These percentages can sometimes vary significantly from school to school.
Finishing college successfully, passing her nursing boards, and getting work experience are a lot more important than saving a little money. If the least expensive school is also the best one for social and career opportunities, then saving the money sounds great.
How is the college savings held? If it is in 529s, then it will be messy to pull it out for something other than educational expenses. So if that is how the money is held, let her know that while she could use it to to help pay for grad school some day, it won’t be easy to use it for a house.
“Don’t see what’s wrong with a downpayment on a house, if other criteria are met.”
It’s not that it’s “wrong.” It’s that the OP doesn’t want the D to be overly cheap in hopes of getting the extra money. There is a blindingly simple way of taking the incentive out - I’ll pay for your college, whatever it costs, but no, it is not a grand sum of money owed you such that there is an incentive for you to choose a cheaper and less quality option. This is really simple. There is no need to make this complicated.
Based on the schools the OP mentioned, none are terribly selective. For nursing, unless you are talking about Penn, the selectivity of the school does not matter that much in terms of career opportunities. Let her go to the cheapest option, and enjoy the saved funds.
I think it’s quite possible the OP’s daughter doesn’t want to see the money spent no matter whether she will get it. Not every teenager cannot understand that it’s a lot of money. If she doesn’t see the value in spending it, it’s entirely reasonable for her to want her parents to save it.
You might ask her - “if money were no object, which would be your favorite?” If it really is the cheapest one, then send her with a light heart. If she’s not sure, let her know that you really are comfortable with the extra cost and encourage her to explore her options a bit more.
We always tell our kids, “use your words.” A little clarity goes a long way.
