<p>i know next to nothing about it. all my life ive been introverted to a point where it hurts my quality of life. its very difficult for me to speak to others clearly, even family, and i tend to give off a vibe of awkwardness and indifference when really, i dont know how to show interest. thus, im 20, homeschooled since 6th grade, in my 4th semester of CC and have never had a friend or a social life, with overprotective parents. they have killed my soul and will to live and i need to get out. to remedy this i want to live on campus when i transfer to a 4 year in spring 09 semester. i feel like it would help me mature and be able to function outside of the house. so, what do i need to know? i would most likely be turning 21 the week i start there</p>
<p>To be honest, if you're as overprotected as you make it sound, you're going to need a lot of help making the college transition. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot anyone on a message board can do to ease that transition.</p>
<p>If possible, I might suggest seeking the help of your public school's school psychologist to get some ideas and individual work to improve your social skills. Additionally, I would suggest you continue to make an effort to improve your social skills on your own by forcing yourself to interact with others. I know of some exercises that would likely be effective in helping you but you would need someone who can talk with you and do them with you for it to be effective, hence I would suggest seeking out your local public school's school psychologist for some help as they are trained to help (in a limited capacity) in cases like yours and are usually free because they are paid by the state.</p>
<p>OK, I'm going to sound horrible for saying this, but be the guy that has the raucous, drunken and out-of-control party for your 21st... that'll get you lots of friends. Maybe not all the kind you want for the long term, but it's a start. ;)</p>
<p>You might want to also try getting involved in a few clubs as soon as possible once you get onto campus. Maybe take a "fun" class offered by your school. They're often taught by students or informal sessions hosted by professors. They usually meet once a week for an hour or so, and they're just meant to be a good time.</p>
<p>Talking to your school's counseling service as soon as you get on campus should be done, too. They might have group sessions or something of the sort you could attend to meet other people with similar problems.</p>
<p>my school has very few clubs. ive checked their website.</p>
<p>ive never been comfortable with counseling/psychology all that much. my mother works as an accountant, people talk to her about fmaily problems for some reason, but we get to hear about em every night. and it seems just as easy for them to do the same</p>
<p>Psychologists take their jobs very seriously - there are often confidentiality clauses and such. They won't talk to their family about your problems like someone who is just hearing stories would.</p>
<p>So what that there are few clubs? Join one of them anyway. There must be one that interests you.</p>
<p>If you make excuses to not get help or be involved you'll never get help or be involved.</p>
<p>Certain substances can get you good and socially lubricated.</p>
<p>*
So what that there are few clubs? Join one of them anyway. There must be one that interests you.*</p>
<p>looked. not a one</p>
<p>The APA's code of ethics takes confidentiality VERY seriously. Except in a few explicit and atypical cases (i.e., stated or strongly implied intent to harm self or others, mandate by courts/subpoena), a psychologist releasing any information they have obtained from you during a session is likely to end their career! (i.e., loss of licensure). It's a big deal. Your mother breaking confidentiality concerning personal issues she hears from clients is simply a bit on the rude side (i.e., gossiping), but a mental health working doing so is a serious violation of ethical guidelines that could cost the person his or her career!</p>
<p>Go in with a plan for being social. Join clubs or study groups quickly, and try to talk with people in your dorm quickly as well.</p>
<p>If you start off being asocial, people will assume you don't want to socialize and will get into the habit of not including you.</p>
<p>I get that this will be very hard for you and that your inclination will probably be to move slowly and wait until you're more comfortable to reach out to people, but first impressions do matter.</p>
<p>
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looked. not a one
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</p>
<p>Well, if you take that sort of attitude you're not going to be involved in college life. Why don't you start a club when you get there?</p>
<p>My little brother had the same problem and I had to beat the living snot out of him to get him to talk to people. I'm afraid he is now traumatized for life.</p>
<p>As long as ur birthday this week isn't on April 1st..</p>
<p>*
Well, if you take that sort of attitude you're not going to be involved in college life. Why don't you start a club when you get there?*</p>
<p>i dont have any interests</p>
<p>im very inhibited and i want to get out of that</p>
<p>You could try going on facebook and finding people you think you'd like to get to know. Then look up their interests (especially things like favorite movies, favorite music, and favorite books) and try watching, reading, and listening to those things. That way you begin to develop interests that other people in your peer group have.</p>
<p>
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i dont have any interests
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</p>
<p>Apparently you have an interest in meeting new people.</p>
<p>Apparently you have an interest in meeting new people.</p>
<p>not really</p>
<p>looking for something to pass time and figure its as good as anything</p>
<p>You don't have any interests? There is nothing on this earth that you like?</p>
<p>I don't mean to be mean. People are giving you good advice... you should try to be more open-minded to new things.</p>
<p>i don't blame the OP. some clubs just don't seem very appealing and when you aren't very social and don't have any interests it becomes very hard to think of a club that would fit you. for example, i don't have a great deal of friends. i've made very poor attempts at getting into clubs. none of them just interest me. so what do i do? i go to class and work. i work a lot. in fact going on my third job. figure if i'm not going to do anything on my free time which i don't then why not just make money. that's probably what the OP is going through. my recommendation, would just be to get a job. you meet people at work and that can be a start. sports are good if you are into that. do you have any hobbies?</p>
<p>if you want to be more social, you will eventually have to learn to adapt to other people's interests. The most agreeable, likable and sociable people are often those who either have a very wide range of interests and/or those who sort of adjust their interests to the person they are around; that is, they just enjoy learning new things and will talk with anyone about anything and sincerely enjoy it. If you can learn to be interested in the same things as other people (even if it means pushing aside some pride or whatnot to accept others' interests as good things to spend time on), you will be a huge step toward being socially capable!</p>