Well, maybe not tear it apart, but feedback would be greatly appreciated! I chose the common app prompt, “Write about an event of personal, local, national importance” So…what do you think?
<pre><code> Kirkuk suicide blast kills 19."
My heart dropped, my stomach turned, and shivers ran down my spine. One word from a stranger on television and I felt like Id been punched in the stomach. For the millions of other people watching this story, it meant nothing, but for me, those five words had the potential of turning my life upside down. Thats what it was like for the six months my dad was in Kirkuk, Iraq. Every time the city was mentioned on the news, I froze, hoping that it was someone else, anyone else, just not my dad. I prayed every night that he would return safely and every time there was a report on the news that a soldier had been killed in a bomb blast in Kirkuk, I held my breath until I heard from him.
I never would have imagined that the absence of my dad would affect me as much as it did. Because of my parents divorce and my dads drinking problem we had never been as close as we could have been. When I was a little girl I didnt realize that my dad had a drinking problem. It was just a part of who he was. At his apartment every Sunday afternoon, I would sit on the couch and do homework while he drank and eventually fell asleep. As I grew older and realized what was going on, I began to despise having to go to my dads house. There were so many times when I wished that he would just disappear from my life. I can honestly say that for the greater part of my childhood I didnt love my own father.
All of that changed one Sunday when he told me he had been activated and was leaving for Iraq in September. At first I didnt believe him. Over the years I had learned to take what he told me with a grain of salt. He had promised to come to awards ceremonies and chorus concerts at school many times before, but not once did he actually show up. Thats why, when he told me he was going to Iraq, I assumed he was exaggerating. But the one time when I wanted what he told me to be a lie, it was the truth. He really was leaving.
That September, as I began my Junior year in high school, I also said goodbye to my dad. As my friends thought about what they would wear the first day of school or how hard the classes would be, I thought about whether or not I would ever see my dad again. Suddenly Sundays, the same Sundays I had despised as a little girl because I had to go to my dads house, became unbearable because I couldnt go to my dads house. As the fact that he really wasnt here sank in, I realized how much I really do need him. Even though he hasnt always been the perfect dad, I know that he loves me. While he may not be able to express it like other fathers, it doesnt change the fact that hes my dad and I love him too.
Looking back, it seems ironic that it took a war to bring us closer together. While he was away, I came to understand a lot about our relationship. I learned to forgive him for not taking a more active role in my life and was just glad that he was alive. I learned that no one is perfect and we all have our faults. People are going to do things that will let us down and make us angry, but that doesnt mean that they dont love us and want to be a part of our lives. I wouldnt change one thing about my relationship with my dad. Its helped me to understand the world and deal with disappointments. Having to accept my dad for who he is, not who I wish he was, has been hard, but its prepared me, more than anything else, for what the real world will be like.
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What are your opinions about going over the word limit…any suggestion as to what I could cut out? Thanks so much!