<p>I find it interesting that some kids just roll through school and get admitted into top colleges, while other kids seem to resist doing their best at every opportunity. In the final analysis a young student's future is largely tied to his ability to focus at an early age. What factors do you think contribute to this? What did some of you parent's do when your child resisted? Is there not much a parent can really do? </p>
<p>I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on the subject.</p>
<p>Well, i don't know about your thought that "in the final analysis a young student's future is largely tied to his ability to focus at an early age."</p>
<p>I have two brothers who barely graduated from high school and only gained focus in their last two years of college. Both are high-level Fortune 100 types now, with sane families of their own. I also know a very successful young man in late 20's who flunked out of high school. He finally did get himself together by passing the GED and getting into a college at 19.</p>
<p>One of the beauties of American higher education system is that it's very forgiving. Lots of opportunities to pursue education -- at virtually any age in virtually any field.</p>
<p>There are so many life paths out there. Among other things, we shouldn't assume that the kids at top colleges, even those who appeared to 'just roll through school,' haven't gone through their own rebellions (and/or personal struggles). </p>
<p>I knew a student who was just the happiest, bounciest girl in the world, and very intelligent. She ended up getting sent to relatives for an extended period of time because her parents were having so much trouble with her at home. Eventually wound up at an Ivy, where she's rumored to be dating a hard drug dealer (and fellow student). All that's immediately apparent about this girl is that she's a friendly, happy, high-achiever from a wealthy neighborhood. Plenty more to the picture, though, and it's hardly unique. Talent and ambition are often accompanied by intensity, which can work for <em>and</em>/or against kids.</p>
<p>Just a reminder. I know it's not exactly what the OP is asking about, and of course there are kids who go through their teen years unscathed, as well as those who constantly insist on being their own worst enemies. I just wanted to note that appearing to "roll through school and get admitted to top colleges" and serious teen rebellion don't have to be mutually exclusive.</p>
<p>We had serious teen rebellion (I actually think it started at about age 4) with both our kids. Our daughter's manifested itself quite differently from our son's. Both did very well in school and were highly regarded by OTHER parents at the same time they were torturing us at home.</p>
<p>My son's path through school was quite rocky, and I won't go through it all again here. He ultimately graduated from an excellent prep boarding school cum laude and is at an Ivy. He continues to torture us, however, even at age 21. Our daughter is a postulant for the Episcopal priesthood and is about to start seminary. Maybe that's the difference between boys and girls?????</p>
<p>The thing that made me angry and rebellious as a teen was that so little
was asked of us in school (and now with grade inflation, it is easier than
ever to get straight A's). I felt like what teachers wanted was compliance,
not effort. Do your homework, write a coherent paper, collect your A.</p>
<p>At the same time, I was doing sports and music. In these arenas nobody
ever put a ceiling on performance. You break a school record? Good -
now go for the state record. I came to understand exerting myself through
these extracurriculars. This made me lose respect for the academic part
of school.</p>
<p>I resisted doing my best because it seemed that nobody asked for my best.</p>
<p>To combat this with my kids I expose them to lots of ways to learn things
that go beyond school. Distance learning, taking things apart, university
video lectures on the web, asking professionals in a field what it is that
they do. I make them understand that school is barely the beginning of
what they can learn.</p>
<p>Last night on the news there was a story about 2 girls who are h.s. seniors. Both are great students. One had near perfect SAT scores and was accepted at Rice. They were arrested yesterday for being lookouts and drivers for some young men in a string of armed robberies. Their poor parents....can you imagine?</p>
<p>Oh, and the Rice girl had been going to a private school, but her parents moved her to public school so she'd be more well-rounded.</p>
<p>When</a> good girls go bad | TOP STORIES | KHOU.com | News for Houston, Texas</p>
<p>It starts long before teen years. My theory is some children are like a square peg that everyone wants to fit into a round hole. Since there are more round pegs, it is assumed that is the right peg. The more rounder, the more the peg is praised and rewarded. No one celebrates the strengths and uniqueness of being square, and the weaknesses are highlighted. There is nothing wrong with being square, the child is just different, or sees the world from a different perceptive. </p>
<p>Some square pegs can be remolded into a round peg but some resist it.</p>
<p>How do you get a square peg child to believe grades are important when they think the concept of grades is silly? How do you get a square peg child to organize their time better, or recite meaningless facts when they rather spend hours and hours creating something beautiful?</p>
<p>My son suffers from Stubbornality disorder.</p>
<p>It started the day he learned to speak.</p>
<p>The teenage years haven't been any different than the rest of his life. You'd think I'd get used to spitting into the wind by now....</p>
<p>FWIW, he breezed thru HS and is NYU on a large scholarship.
his SAT was 2250.</p>
<p>He's his own person and has been since the day he was born.</p>