<p>Yes, robotbld, that whole “Greek Functions” thing is my concern. Lots and lots of functions at the UA are Greek Functions if you are Greek. If you aren’t Greek, you can’t participate. As it stands right now, most of his friends would be Greek, and he would not be. My son would LOVE most of the Greek functions. He would love to go with his Greek friends to football games, formals, etc. He would love the camaraderie and “guy” stuff that goes on with a fraternity. Basically, he would love everything about fraternity life except being forced to drink, cleaning up after other people who were drinking, and hazing. He hears the hazing stories, and he doesn’t like them. He doesn’t care if people are drinking around him. But he doesn’t want to be forced to drink (which does still happen) and he doesn’t want to have to clean up the C**p leftover after everyone else drinks. And physical abuse is not his thing, those he’s quite athletic and a big, tough kid. So, yeah, he may just not be a good fit at UA. I think he would feel left out if he couldn’t participate in activities with his friends.</p>
<p>happykidsmom, I’ll readily admit that I have not been in the same family situation as your sons in regards to Greek life. In my extended family, few people in older generations went to college and those of my generation who are going to college are primarily doing so locally. From a young age, I was encouraged to go to college, but nothing was mentioned bout Greek life as most of my family knows very little about it.</p>
<p>I was taught that part of being family was that one respected the decisions of family members, but that playfully joking around about each others quirks was accepted eg so and so is loud, another one collects so many things, etc. It would say more about the family members who did not accept your sons’ decisions to go or not to go Greek than it would your sons. As for “tradition,” some traditions are made to be broken, especially if it disregards the individuality and explicit wishes of the person expected to continue the tradition. I don’t know your family dynamics, but in some families the stigma with being in the “wrong” Greek organization is worse than the one for not being in a Greek organization.</p>
<p>I occasionally look back at my decision not to join a fraternity and wonder what would have happened if I did. While there certainly would have been things I would have enjoyed, there are a lot of things which would have strongly conflicted with my personal values, some of which are specific to southern Greek life. While I would suggest that your sons rush and possibly pledge if they had any interest in Greek life, I would also remind them that they can leave at any time. Once the pledge process is complete, they can participate in whatever fraternity activities they want, doing the minimum required to remain an active member in good standing.</p>
<p>In terms of cleaning up after parties, we all have to do things that we don’t really want to do. While they would have trouble citing OSHA regulations and ANSI standards as they would not be paid employees, there are certain health department regulations the by which fraternities should abide eg providing gloves when cleaning up certain fluids.</p>
<p>Interestingly enough, smoking is prohibited in all official Greek houses. Enforcement is another story however.</p>
<p>??</p>
<p>But lots and lots of functions aren’t Greek as well </p>
<p>Yes, the greeks have their own events, just like other clubs, churchy groups, talent groups, community -service groups, etc. But even within the Greek system, not every event is open to every Greek. Each house has its own events, so if you’re a DZ and the Tri-Delts are having a formal, guess what, you’re not going. lol If the Chi Omegas and the Delta Chis are having a swap, the others can’t come. </p>
<p>That said, if you want to be a part of Greek functions (again, you can’t be a part of them all), then pledge. If not, then seek your own path with clubs that are of your interests.</p>
<p>There are also some other Greek groups (I’ll call them “alternative” for lack of a better name), which don’t do some of the things that your son doesn’t like. Perhaps those might interest him.</p>
<p>Hopefully, Momreads will post. Her son’s frat is not a stereotypical frat house.</p>
<p>Happykidsmom - I went to a college that doesn’t have a Greek system, and I’m not aware of anyone in my family who has been in a fraternity or a sorority. Yet I understand perfectly what your concern is. My D has friends whose mothers were in sororities (in the midwest) and being in a sorority is a HUGE part of the college experience those friends are anticipating - to the point that they didn’t apply to Indiana and some of the southern universities because of the competitive rush. They knew that if they didn’t get into a sorority (or a particular sorority), they wouldn’t want to be at that school and would need to transfer. It was an alien concept to me, but I fully understand, just as I understand how difficult it would be to be at a school with friends who were involved in something I had chosen not to be involved in that occupied a significant amount of their time. Fortunately, my D has never wanted to be in a sorority and is OOS and doesn’t know anyone at UA. To her, the Greek system is irrelevant - there will be plenty of other things for her to get involved in. I can certainly see how it is far from irrelevant to some others, and definitely something that needs to be considered.</p>
<p>i am not going to post a really long post about this, but i will say that my daughter has been on both sides of the greek situation. not in a sorority last year and in one this year. both years she has had more activities to do than she has time to do. last year she was able to participate in some things (quidditch among other things) that she has not been able to do this year due to schedule conflicts with sorority functions. even tonight, there is something else going on that she would rather go to than a chapter meeting, but the chapter meeting wins.</p>
<p>so, i guess everyone has to make his or her own decision.</p>
<p>i would think a guy could be in a fraternity without drinking. it would be the exception, but i am sure it has been done before.</p>
<p>happykidsmom: I understand your concerns regarding Greek life, the hazing, the endless partying and whatever physical abuse a pledge may face. </p>
<p>That’s why my son had no interest in Greek life when he first got to Alabama. He figured that his studies (he is a double major with four minors), research and attending various functions, academic as well as social and athletic, would keep him so busy that he would not have time to be Greek. </p>
<p>Amazingly, things changed. His fraternity recruited him, along with his fellow brothers. Academics, staying in good physical condition and doing community service are very important to these young men. Many of his brothers are National Merit kids. Others have the Presidential Scholarship. Many are not drinkers. Some aspire to attend med school. Others (like my son) wish to pursue law or graduate school. In fact, one night last year, at a swap, several young men explained that they had to leave following dinner to go and study for exams. And they did! As a group, they boast one of the highest GPAs among fraternities.</p>
<p>If you would like more information, send me a PM.</p>
<p>Just lurking here, but happykidsmom, I do understand what you are saying. At my undergrad, the Greek scene was prevalent, and I participated. I can understand how it dominates a school’s culture.</p>
<p>And as always, there is a Greek alternative in The Mallet Assembly. I just think that UA is so large and has so many organizations that, even if one’s student goes Greek or not, it would be impossible to participate in all the activities that might interest them. I feel that each student will be able to find a club or social group that is fulfilling and interesting.</p>
<p>Good post SEA_tide, finding your own path in life is very important…</p>
<p>happykidsmom…I do understand exactly what you are talking about. My DD is in sorority at Bama. She is from OOS but comes from a family where mom and dad were both Greek and are still extremely active in their respective alum groups. Her sister was also Greek and is currently president of her Alum group in Maryland. A big reason DD chose Alabama was for the Greek life. She knew she wanted to go through recruitment and pledge. In addition she also knew that she would become very involved in her sorority (she currently hold an exec position) as well as becoming involved in Greek leadership positions on campus. The majority of her friends are Greek as well. Her boyfriend is in a fraternity and they attend his functions as well as her functions. As you stated the Greeks tend to socialize together at Greek functions.</p>
<p>Last year she experienced, through a sorority sister, the situation you are talking about. Her sister met a young man who was not in a fraternity and they hit it off quite well. The boy had been rushed during the summer but didn’t think he wanted to pledge for precisely the same reasons you stated are concerns for your son. As Fall began they found it quite difficult to go to any Greek activities together. The fraternities didn’t want him at any of their parties because he wasn’t Greek. She had sorority functions that she needed to attend but again he wasn’t welcome. They finally decided that he should rush and after a very long Spring and summer he received a bid from a prominent fraternity on campus (It happens to be the same on my DD’s boyfriend is a member of). </p>
<p>Was he hazed? Yes…was it excessive…I would say no… but yet he was required to do things like keg stands and watch the fire alarm, provide alcohol and cigarettes upon command…just to name a few things. He almost quit during pledge ship several times but knew that if he did then it would impact his social relationship with the girlfriend. He made it through and is now an initiated member. If you ask him he will tell you that it was tough but in his opinion it was worth it and he would do it again. He also will tell you that at the moment you are initiated the unreasonable demands stop. It is over and done…there is no pressure to drink, clean ect…</p>
<p>Greek life is not for everyone. It is my opinion that the Honors College does a good job of providing social experiences for it’s students and I think that those who are not Greek take advantage of those activities. Honors College does a great job of helping kids build friendships with kids who share common interests. </p>
<p>Finally as mentioned above there are fraternities that do not do the activities mentioned but I am guessing from your back ground that you are talking about some of the older more established fraternities on campus. DD’s boyfriend is a member of one of these as is the young man I mentioned. Even in the Greek system there is inequality.</p>
<p>I am not condoning hazing, making guys drink or clean or generally abusing them in one way or another. Sororities do not do this. But I do understand his (and yours) dilemma. If your social circle is predominately Greek then if you are not Greek you will be excluded. It is unfortunate but that is the way it is at many “southern” colleges where Greek life plays a role.</p>
<p>Greek life is not for everyone…it take careful consideration and thought. I feel for your dilemma. </p>
<p>After my daughter received her bid I asked her what would have happened is she had not been bid? She responded that she would have had to come home…it was just that important to her! I will say that being Greek has inspired her to think outside her comfort level, to do amazing things that have benefited so many people on and off the Alabama campus. She has bloomed into a fantastic young woman and we attribute that to her involvement in Greek life…Good luck! I’ll be thinking of you.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone here is trying to tell you that your son’s concerns or yours are not valid or that Greek life isn’t prevalent, just that it isn’t an exclusive for being happy or making friends on campus. Many if not most of my D’s friends rushed…granted they do not attend the UA, but are in the two major universities in our home state. They told my daughter she would be the “only one” not rushing. I also grew up in Tuscaloosa and have a nephew who is a senior at the UA. Most of his friends rushed, but he did not. He doesn’t mind drinking, is very social, well-liked, and is a decent student. He loves a good party. He is well built and stands about 6’ 3" and would never have put up with being hazed or cleaned up after anyone. Ironically, he works as a bouncer on the strip and is very popular because of his mild mannered and effective approach to removing those who have had too much. My sister urged him to rush just as she did my D. He wasn’t interested for some of the reasons you mentioned.</p>
<p>What I am saying, and I believe what some others are saying is that it isn’t necessary to be Greek as some posts seemed to imply to be happy. Will it be uncomfortable and exclude him from the group of friends who do pledge and their Greek activities, probably so. Are there frats that don’t do some of those things? I’m not sure. But I can tell you this for sure…there are plenty of students who are socially active, happy, and make friends with or without being Greek. There are Greeks and non-Greeks who room together, study together, and socialize together outside of the Greek system. Yes, it is likely he will feel left out from his current circle of friends if they pledge and he doesn’t. We do understand your dilemma, but perhaps not to the magnitude that you feel it. I’m truly sorry you feel torn and whether the UA is right for him or not is a choice he will have to make. It isn’t my intention to offend you or your feelings, just to let you know that whatever he decides to do about pledging should not make or break his ability to be happy at the UA. Greek life is great if that is something a student enjoys, but it is certainly does not limit one’s ability to be happy or involved on campus regardless of one’s academic ability, family connections, or friends’ involvement unless you allow it to do so. Best of luck to your son.</p>
<p>So many great replies! Wow. This is what I love about CC. Even if something someone shares with me isn’t helpful to me at that moment, I know that what each of you have said will help someone else who is grappling with different concerns. So much wisdom in one thread… Roll Tide!</p>
<p>Several of you touched on my exact concerns. Glad to know I’m not totally off my rocker. Or, if I am, glad to have so much lovely company. 
Ahpimommy, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. You’re good! The story of the boy who pledged later really hit home. DS2 isn’t afraid of getting dirty (though I loved Sea Tide’s OSHA reminders. DS2 understands “alphabet-speak”. He’ll be happy to supply his own rubber gloves, I’m sure.) And, in some respects, cleaning the fraternity house, active’s apartments, etc. might be a step up from his chores around here. He wouldn’t mind having to run stupid errands and such. And, keep in mind, he still has several years before he even needs to ponder such things. (I was just using him as an example of someone who didn’t fit easily into either the “Greek” box or the “Independent” box, poor guy, lol). </p>
<p>He’s an athlete, and a “guy’s guy”. However, he would probably never agree to drink on command or do anything else that might cause physical harm to himself or another pledge, though he might hurt someone if they tried to harm him physically (He’s over 6’1", 180 and probably not finished growing). Currently, he is highly opposed to having to clean up party rooms (vomit and all), mostly on principle: He has an issue with cleaning up other people’s mistakes, which does seem slightly incongruent with a future in politics, LOL. But, with the exception of doing things that are potentially harmful, he would be fine. The problem is that drinking in excess is not considered harmful at UA, though my son has a firm stand on drinking FOR HIMSELF at this time. Things could change. But he’s pretty firm on it right now. He’d make a great Standards VP! Not judgmental as long as things are within reason, and not a hypocrite when someone needs to be brought back in line. If you know of any takers, let me know, LOL.</p>
<p>And, yes, Ahpimommy, my concern is that DS2 would want to be in a fraternity that would swap with the sororities his friends are in, but it’s my experience that those fraternities don’t tend to pledge non-drinkers. I would think that it could be helpful to have at least one sober person at every party. His GPA will probably be high, and he’s a leader who kids respect (He’s the youngest letterman in his large public school.) But, I fear that a rushee who didn’t drink might not be a popular choice to pledge–Not because he would make a big deal of not drinking. He’s not like that. But I have the impression that alcohol is still part of hazing rituals and that’s where DS2 would draw the line. So, yes, as strange as it seems to some, there are MANY people on this board who understand that the Greek/Non-Greek issue is not as easy to overcome as we all might wish. And, as NBC suggested many moons ago, these are concerns that should not be dismissed and should be addressed BEFORE, not after, a student arrives on campus.</p>
<p>It isn’t my intention to offend you or your feelings, just to let you know that whatever he decides to do about pledging should not make or break his ability to be happy at the UA</p>
<p>Exactly.</p>
<p>If your son is opposed to certain things (and it doesn’t sound like he’s being unreasonable), then why is this even an issue? Just don’t pledge the frats that engage in behaviors that would be unpleasant for him.</p>
<p>Momreads mentioned her son’s frat and they don’t engage in these things that your son finds distasteful. </p>
<p>I don’t get all this hand-wringing. When I don’t like the behavior of a certain club, I don’t join it. I join groups that share my values and interests.</p>
<p>who cares if he may have friends who are in this frat or that sorority? It sounds like he’s a guy who can stand on his own two feet and doesn’t have to follow the crowd.</p>
<p>Happy…DD’s boyfriend doesn’t like vomit very much either and luckily his “cleaning” was somewhat minimal. He was named PCP and so that helped some as he could “delegate” if you know what I mean. He found that is he volunteered to be the designated driver on party nights and at band parties he watched the fire alarm…the “requirement” to drink was minimal. that being said there were still “rituals” that required alcohol but the above “plans” definitely helped.<br>
I know this is a tough spot to be in…if he doesn’t pledge its kind of like starting over from scratch and I can’t imagine seeing people every day who I care about and have close relationships with but can’t socialize with because of barriers. It’s tough.<br>
We talk a lot at our house about the impact of our “social” lives as well as our “school” and “business” lives. I am wondering if a weekend at Bama visiting in the future might solidify his views and opinions. He sounds VERY much like my son (athlete, easy going, personable, big guy 6’3 290…he played football in high school). Due to an injury we did a 360 at the last moment and had to switch schools. He was headed to a D! football program and his life would have been football with al of his teammates and coaches. All of a sudden he ended up at smaller Jesuit University…he elected to not go Greek for the exact same reasons you are mentioning although we didn’t have the family social component. Luckliy it’s not intensely Greek so he’s done fine and the social barriers between Greeks and non Greek don’t exist…but he had to start all over socially…with a head injury that made life hard but he did survived.
I think if you are not “born southern” and have those deep Greek social roots it’s often times hard to understand the angst in this situation. In many cases Greek life is a stepping stone for so much more after college ends. That is another reason DD’s boyfriend and the other young fellow pledged. Those Greek letters open a lot of doors, especially in the south. I feel for you!</p>
<p>As parents we all want our kids to fit in and be happy. We all understand that. Your descriptions of your sons lead me to believe they are confident, good students, and leaders rather than followers. As one parent to another my advice to you is to first congratulate yourself in raising children who are able to set limits and expectations for themselves. Not all kids are capable of thinking for themselves and avoiding peer pressure to drink excessively or do otherwise stupid things to fit in. Because they do have such confidence and ability to make friends I would then sit back and determine whether so much worry is warranted and if it was my concern or theirs. Again, I’m not trying to belittle your feelings. If either of your sons would feel left out by not going Greek and didn’t want to participate in the things you mentioned, I would contact one of the parents on this board about their son’s experience and their rec for a particular house. Outside of that, I think it boils down to recognizing that there are opportunities outside of going Greek, but in doing so there is also exclusion from the Greek parties. I have no problem with anyone’s choice to go Greek and neither does my D or nephew, but neither of them would consider it a reason not to attend the UA or any other school. Although my nephew grew up and has always lived in Tuscaloosa and has many friends who went Greek, he is fine. He drinks, but not in excess and not on command. He was able to maintain friendships with those who went Greek, but he also made new friends. He is much more social than my D by nature, but he wouldn’t have accepted the things you described. Although my D is OOS and was encouraged to rush, she would never have considered it. She doesn’t drink and doesn’t like the idea of an exclusionary group of friends as has been described on this thread. I’m not meaning to be critical of the Greek system or insensitive, but she (or I) never understood the significance of recs often written by strangers to allow for joining a group. Many of her friends from HS went Greek at other schools, but it wouldn’t have mattered to her if they had been at the UA. Her experience has been that the friends with whom she grew up and went to school were more friends of convenience because of the time spent together. The friends she has made on campus seem to be more friends by choice because of their similar interests and beliefs. I think it is a normal part of the process of maturing that we keep a few old friends and move into new friendships based more upon our values and interests. That’s all I am saying and all I believe others here are saying. Whether a student is interested in going Greek or not is a personal choice, but there are plenty of opportunities for either way if a student keeps an open mind and seeks them. I believe finding the right school comes down to the expectations and interests of the student and parents. Raising a child who is comfortable with who they are and is not easily influenced to abandon their own values is something to be proud of as a parent…don’t let the decision to go Greek or not overwhelm that accomplishment. If he is interested in Greek life, see if there is a house that will accommodate…if not, I don’t see it as a loss. I wish you good luck.</p>
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<p>You are not the only one. I can’t figure out why the recs are so important if it is known that they may be written by people that don’t even know you.</p>
<p>I am finding this whole discussion of the Greek system at UA pretty disheartening. Forced drinking, hazing, vomit inducing overindulgence, exclusionary practices, and furtherance of the “good old boy” network all place the system in a poor light, at least to my eye.</p>
<p>Many professions do NOT benefit from going Greek. Sure, maybe for business majors there’s an advantage, but for many, many other careers it’s a non-issue. My goodness, most of us are around professionals all the time and we don’t know if they were Greek or not in undergrad. If it were so important, we’d know this info. Frankly, the only professionals that I know of their Greek affiliations are ones who bring up the subject themselves (for some odd reason). </p>
<p>Any frat on any campus that expects kids to drink til they vomit needs to be reported for hazing. Period. As a sorority girl myself, I would not permit my kids to join a house that engaged in that behavior.</p>
<p>Hazing should not be tolerated, period. If I personally knew of an organization that allowed or encouraged hazing, I would report that. I would encourage others to do the same.</p>
<p>Randomparent, Here is the situation as I see it: </p>
<p>There is a niche for almost everyone at Bama. </p>
<p>I was Greek. I had the time of my life. The friends I made and the opportunities that came my way while I was in school were life-changing. And, most of those opportunities would not have come my way had I not been Greek. I dated guys in the “usual suspect” fraternity houses all the way through college (and after). I saw it all. I was in the thick of everything. Yet, to this day, I have never tasted beer. I never drank or did drugs. I was about as straight as sorority girls come. I went to most of the major parties on campus. I was NEVER sitting around with nothing to do. I was invited to do more than I could have ever made time for. And never, EVER once did I feel pressured to drink, do drugs, etc. It wasn’t a religious or moral thing for me. I simply don’t like the taste of alcohol and it was never something I wanted to do. I can tell any parent of a girl that, without a doubt, alcohol and drugs do NOT need to be a part of an amazing Bama sorority experience. If it’s what you want to do, it’s just as accessible as it is on any other campus in the country. But, if it’s not your thing, you will not be forced to do it, and it will not hinder you socially if you choose not to. </p>
<p>Fast forward… I have two sons. Though I am a Southerner and my children spend time during summers and holidays in the South, they have been raised bi-coastally and far from the South. One son is the perfect social fit for Bama. Though on paper (ie: background, life experience, ambitions, etc.), he looks like a likely Bama Greek, he is Bama Geek material, through and through (high-stat, likely high scholarship recipient, etc.) When we did his official visit last fall, he immediately found his “tribe”. Bells rang. Birds sang. He had found his people. And, if he decides to go to Bama (he’s only a junior), it will be as perfect a social fit for him as he might find anywhere. If your child is a STEM major/Honors student, the Greek fraternity pledge experience that we’ve described is a world away from the experience that your child, or mine, would have. Also, if my DS2 were a girl, I wouldn’t be the least bit concerned about “her” Greek pledgeship experience. However, it is a different situation for boys. And, for some kids in some situations, the decision to pledge or not to pledge has real consequences (and not “crazy family” consequences…geez) that should be addressed and understood before the kid goes to college. That is not as true on most college campuses. But, it is true at UA and some other college campuses, particularly along the Gulf Coast. 'Nuff said.</p>
<p>For almost every student at the UA, the negatives we have described are not even on their radar. Honestly, it’s not a big deal to most fraternity pledges either because most are already at least casual drinkers by the time they go to college. Most fraternities haze to varying degrees by varying devices, and alcohol consumption is not usually considered hazing (…and this isn’t just at UA, it’s true on ANY college campus, even the ones that drone on about how they are so superior. They’re not. They’re just in denial. Bless their hearts.) </p>
<p>Anyway, I used my poor little 6’1"+ baby who is years from college as an example of a kid who might not be a perfect social fit for Bama a few years from now because he wants nothing to do with alcohol or cleaning up after people who drink it. I did so in response to a rather strong reaction that some CCers had to a post another CCer wrote regarding the “pervasive” presence of the Greek system at UA and the affect it can have on some students. The post was absolutely accurate and not an overstatement in any way. However, those who are less familiar with Southern culture and, clearly with the Southern/UA Greek system in general, took umbridge with that assertion. FWIW, drinking/fraternities are rarely even topics of conversation in our home. This is not something that is on either of my sons’ radars right now. However, it immediately popped to my mind as an example of what NBC was talking about when I read all of the “There’s Gambling in this Establishment?” responses to NBC’s comment. That’s all. It’s not an obsession and it doesn’t keep me up at night. Should my son do a 180 on the drinking thing between now and college, I wouldn’t be any more concerned about him drinking at UA than at any other campus in the country. It’s not that drinking, etc. is more pervasive at the UA than at other campuses. It is that the Greek system is more pervasive at the UA. And part of getting into certain fraternities at the UA is drinking one’s way through pledgeship. And THAT is where I saw a potential conflict for my son. Anyone who is worried that alcohol and drugs are more pervasive at the UA than elsewhere, I can set your mind at ease. It’s not. </p>
<p>Without dragging this thing out any longer (though I have enjoyed the enlightening and sometimes hysterical posts and PMs), I would simply sum up by saying this:
- The VAST majority of kids looking at Bama on CC (95+%), will find Utopia as they drive along University Blvd. For most parents, Bama is/will be heaven on earth, as well. Seriously, the bells DO ring, and the birds DO sing, and the experience of realizing your child is “home” is unforgettable.
- There ARE some kids for whom UA may not be a perfect social fit, and the children for whom UA may not be a perfect fit are not all white, male, polo-khaki-and Sperry-wearing non-drinking, politically-inspired boys from LaLaLand. While they may be few in number, they are out there, and they should be encouraged to consider and research the entirety of the Bama experience when choosing both their college and major, which I believe was the original point that NBC was attempting to make.
- For those interested in the Greek system, especially kids who are raised or have roots in the Deep South, it’s not as easy as saying “I’m going to rush” or “I’m not going to rush”. The UA Greek system is much more complicated than most understand. It doesn’t start when you walk on campus and end when you leave, and as another poster stated, all houses are not created equal. The Greek system doesn’t just affect Greeks. It’s simply as most parents on CC have stated, their kids are disinterested in Greek activities and oblivious to what is going on. I am a strong proponent of the UA Greek system, flaws and all. Much like our country, the system is imperfect, but it’s the best we’ve got and I love it. For me, it was a great experience. I don’t know that either of my children will go to Bama. If my first son goes, he most likely will not pledge as his interests are COMPLETELY different than his brother’s. DS1 would probably join the Honors STEM majors who are so strongly represented here, and blissfully sink into a torrent of science, research and discovery. No time for fraternity life. But my second son has VERY different interests (not just a different personality, though he has that, too) and would not as easily find his niche outside the Greek community as he would inside of it. The barriers he might face may be different than those that other students might face. But for him, the affect that not pledging would have on him socially gives me pause, and NBC’s advice to consider the affect that a strong Greek system can have on kids like my son is prudent. And now I’ve GOT to go get my taxes done. Roll Tide!</p>
<p>Thanks to all that have posted regarding the nuances of Greek life at Southern Universities.
The insight, especially from those with first-hand knowledge of fraternities and sororities in Southern schools, is greatly appreciated. (Plus it explains some of the conversations I remember listening to back in the '90’s from my Ole Miss cousins.)</p>