<p>Here's an excerpt from an essay I wrote, but don't plan on using anymore. I hope no one feels inclined to plagarize it (b/c it sucks). I just want to get a second opinion on something.</p>
<p>Basically, I was just having a fairly huge debate with my parents over how this little piece portrayed me as a person. Here I truly thought I was letting my own true self shine through in a frank, open, and honest way. But part of me thought I sounded a bit cocky.</p>
<p>I let my parents read it and they thought I sounded way too self-deprecatory and a little like an idiot (in the literal sense). They hated this part even though I thought it was the best point I had made in the entire essay. They really had a problem with the word "illiterate" too.</p>
<p>So now please read it over and tell me what YOU think. Just maybe list a couple of personality traits that seem to come through with this little excerpt and say why. Do you view what I wrote in a positive or negative way? In the future, would you encourage that I write something like this for college? If not, how could I change/improve something like this?</p>
<p>Thanks=)</p>
<p>Here it is:</p>
<pre><code> "I looked down at the messy scrawl of black ink on the paper and recognized it as a registration card for the clinic. Based on the old woman's health problems, the card would tell her which doctor to see. Unfortunately my ability to read Indian* was severely limited to childrens picture books, bold airport or shop signs, and parts of my moms old letters. I was unable to read most handwriting because it varied so much between people.
The irony of the situation struck me. Here I was; school newspaper editor, city youth board member, teen court juror, and a piano player; yet at this moment I was just as illiterate as the destitute old village woman who stood in front of me."
</code></pre>
<p>*"Indian" is obviously not a real language. I changed the actual name of the language for confidentiality reasons. I guess all that matters is that its the native language of the 3rd world country where this takes place. Both the woman and I can speak it, but not read or write it.</p>