<p>I am so screwed right now i have no idea what to do. Why?Listen Up</p>
<p>I have liked this one girl for a long time. a really long time . Lets say 1 year . I had asked her out but got a lukewarm response . She didnt say no but i didnt get say yes either . We came to be friends and good ones because we were in the same friends group .
Anyway i had planned to ask her out to the prom - Dec 25 . And this plan was made 5 months ago . And i had swore to myself that i would not even let my two best friends get to know . My two best friends are A and B . A is your pretty boy (Ashton Kutcher types with some brains) and B is your bad-looking jock(athlete thin) . Both knew i liked the girl . And both would give me advice on how to get her . But then this happened .
I had to leave town on the 5th for my cousins wedding . I just came back 4 hrs ago . I call up A and tell him how the wedding was . Then i called up B. B asked me if A had told me . Told what i asked . I then rang up A . It took me 10 mins to get it out from him .</p>
<p>The ----------------- had asked her out and she said yes . All this when i was out of town . He said he was sorry . He said he tried calling me . He said he would understand if i got angry .</p>
<p>I wasnt angry . I was mad . My girl (to-be) . Without asking me he asked her out .
What should i do ? For 12 years i have known A should i forgive him..?</p>
<p>PS - I hurt not because of my rejection and his success . I hurt because of what hes done .</p>
<p>It was totally wrong for him to do that. Let him know how you feel about it, then see what he does. Decide based upon his actions whether or not to forgive. </p>
<p>From a girl's pov, your friend screwed you over. If these were two girls, they would be getting into a huge fight rite now. Being your friend for 12 years, he should respect you and at least talked to you telling you how much he liked her, and asking you if it would be okay for him to ask her out. But he didn't. He ignored your feelings and basically only thought of himself.</p>
<p>not having fallen in love yet, my advice may not be of any value, but if you've known A for 12 years and he hasn't done anything like this before, you should probably give him a chance...no girlfriend is worth losing a longtime friend over</p>
<p>If you've known the guy for 12 years, you can't just "dump" him over a girl that wasn't even "yours." True, 'twas a devious thing that he did, but I just think 12 years of friendship is worth at least an attempt of forgiveness on your part.</p>
<p>Easier said than done, I know. But if it helps any, proms are overrated anyway.</p>
<p>I'm a girl, and I was in your situation (sort of) the past two weeks. In short, the guy I liked decided that he liked my best friend more and they started going out. Yes, I was furious, hurt, and confused because I expected more from my best friend. I expected her to at least wait a few weeks before doing stuff with him. But now, everything's worked out...I think...</p>
<p>Anyway, this will sound impossible to do but try not to think of it. And it probably is impossible, because you're going to have the words "WHY?" and "how could he?" looming in your head...so think about what you value more: a 12 year friendship, or a girl. He said he expected you to be angry. At least he said that...now just wait until you have totally figured out all the reasons of why you are angry/betrayed and talk to him about it and ask what he values more: your friendship or the girl.</p>
<p>OK guys we had an unexpected meeting . I went to Bs house and who do i find there ? A.
This is what he said -
Im really sorry . I know your angry at me but Im sorry . I didnt have the guts to face u . I dont even know for how long i have liked her . You can hit me if u want . But im sorry . Its ur decision now.</p>
<p>But i was furious . I screamed at him . I told him that the girl had cost him our 12 yrs . I said that this mite be the last time i ever speak to him again . I yelled at him for what he did and for why he didnt tell me . He just sat there helpless .</p>
<p>I know hes not a bad guy . But i dont know if i can trust anymore. BTW myway im not angry at the girl . I have a bruised ego with what he did . What he did behind my back . He just pleaded that it looked worse then it really was . I left saying that i have no desire to talk to him again . B was disappinted that me and A couldnt make up.</p>
<p>No..................you are mad about losing something that you never had. Even if that girl had gone out with you, shel could have dumped you in a week.</p>
<p>Most relationship at 17 lasts till the prom.</p>
<p>Just give Friend A the cold shoulder for two weeks or so. Same exact scenario happened to me, I was shocked at first, but then went on and found a new love.. (aww..) hardie har har har.. Don't worry about it, a month of the cold shoulder works wonders.</p>
<p>And besides, maybe this is a sign that you will find newer and better things?</p>
<p>hmm ... I guess I look at this a little differently. I am sorry this happened to you and understand why you feel mad and betrayed by your friend. </p>
<p>However, I do not see the big betrayal. First, your friend knew you liked the girl, had offered advice about asking her out which you had never done, and did NOT know about your prom plan ... so it seems reasonable for him to think that you would never act on your crush on this girl ... would it have been better that he told you first, sure, but it not like you told him you were going to call on Friday night and he called on Friday afternoon to beat your call (then I'd agree you should be really ****ed). Second, this girl is a person and no one has the right to control who asks her out other than her ... your thinking your friends should not ask her out because you like her (while not acting upon your crush) has the effec of your controlling an aspect of her life (and you have no right to do that) ... there is an old saying "if you really love someone you will set them free".</p>
<p>I know that might have read harsh but in your message I hear me when I was 16/17 ... and I learned so much over the next couple years. Rather than looking at your friend or the girl and why this situation hurts so much I would look inward, what could I have done differently ... and the obvious thing is ask her out A LOT sooner. If you like some one I suggest getting to know them and then ask them out ... find out if a relationship can work out or not ... if so, GREAT ... if not, bummer but time to move on. One thing I would change from my teens if I could would be the long-term unacted upon crushes that I had ... it's a very bad strategy. The guy who actually asks girls out are the ones who have dates and girlfriends.</p>
<p>How does the girl feel about this? Does she know about it? If I were the girl, I'd be furious at both of you because to me, friends come first, and I wouldn't want to be the reason for the end of a 12 year friendship. Also, consider B. He probably does not want to be stuck in the middle of all this. Does your ego really matter in this, or can you ignore that bruised part and confront him in a real conversation---at least he's guilty and sorry...he knows that what he's done has been disrespectful to you.</p>
<p>Yeah, definitely don't forget about B, who seems like a very good friend, you wouldn't want to lose both friendships if you can help it. I would suggest not to drag the situation out b/c those could turn into horrible weeks for the 3 of you.</p>
<p>I said that this mite be the last time i ever speak to him again .</p>
<p>Remember this prior to making a set decision. Once you break a friendship, it'll be difficult to regain it. But if you're still friends, you can end the friendship easier.</p>
<p>Also, how good of a friend has A been? Any notable memories? Think about that to see if ending the friendship is worth it over some girl</p>
<p>I feel you were right. It's not like he didn't know your feelings. But let things cool down. See if time makes things clearer. Then once the anger is gone you can decide what you want.</p>
<p>I guess you waited to long :-). Besides, it's all probably for the best. I do agree, get a new friend and a new girl. These are the precious moments when it hurts to finally find out who's your friend and who isn't.</p>