Test your essay-scoring skills here!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>What kind of a grade do you think this essay would earn one?</p>

<p>This is the May 5th prompt.</p>

<p>And I know, I know.... the second body paragraph sucks. I realized that time was dwindling and panicked and started not exactly focusing on the writing and more on the time. =X</p>

<p>And nope, it's not even finished. </p>

<pre><code>In today's modern world, materialism runs rampant. Society is consumed by all the marvelous trinkets and treasures that our burgeoning economy brings. However, society should be penalized for this: the ramifications of materialism are drastic, as indicated by the poisonous prosperity of the 1920s and the materialistic corruption of the characters in Glorious Skies.

The 1920s was an era of economic boom since consumerism prospered wildly. The advent of mass production brought about a plethora of changes in the economy which led to a higher standard of living. For example, Henry Ford's vehicles were produced cheaply. In turn, this allowed even the average family to buy such extravagant things. The mass-produced vehicles spurred a new type of attitude in the jazz age Americans: the desire for more, more, more. The stock market opened up all sorts of new opportunities. Naturally, humans invested in it, knowing that the stock market was a source of easy money. For the Americans at the time, more money meant more luxuries. As the stock market swelled, it eventually came to a crash. Things such as buying on credit, which meant to loan money in order to invest, contributed to the stock market crash. The process of buying on credit exemplified just how eager Americans were to earn money for frivolous luxuries. As a result, the nation was severely hampered by the Great Depression, one of the most tragic periods in the U.S economy.

The characters of Glorious Skies, by Alisse Steves, also showed the poisons of materialism. Peter Nutcakes, who was the son of a corporate millionaire, eventually suffered from a tragic social situation. Since Peter spent his childhood surrounded by luxuries, his entrance into the "real world" resulted in a tragic plight. He was devastated that he could not buy new suits of clothing everyday. Nutcakes could not cope with having to go without the luxury of a fancy car. Indeed, this was an extreme case. In the end, Peter suffered the emotional distress if going without all the materialistic things in life: he committed suicide.
</code></pre>

<p>You guys can post your essays here too, and we will try to guess. Sounds like a fun game, no?</p>

2

<p>Was it an 8? You can't get higher than a 10 without a conclusion.</p>

<p>You give good examples but I think you need to connect a bit more. Don't just say "blah contributed to the market crash". Mention that society's increased income induced people to buy things they can't afford.</p>

3

<p>was it a 7?</p>

4

<p>i say its an 8.</p>

5

<p>Surprisingly enough, this somehow earned me an 11. I filled up both pages though. I just have a tendency to write extremely big.</p>

6

<p>Try grading mine, same prompt:</p>

<p>Page</a> 1
Page</a> 2</p>

<p>Sorry if its messy, please correct any obvious flaws.</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

7

<p>i will post my june one when i get it back. i like this thread.</p>

8

<p>Anyone wanna grade my essay? :-P</p>

9

<p>umm....10??</p>

10

<p>I just want to say that my essay did not have a conclusion either and I got an 11.</p>

11

<p>I would give both essays a 10.</p>

<p>Any one like to read mine?
Page 1
<a href="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y7/Anim/MayEssayPage1.jpg%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y7/Anim/MayEssayPage1.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Page 2
<a href="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y7/Anim/MayEssayPage2.jpg%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y7/Anim/MayEssayPage2.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

12

<p>drnoeyedea, although I don't agree with your point of view, I would give your essay a 10-11.</p>

13

<p>^well thats ok. it might be controversial but it shows that i can take up some sort of stance and firmly stick to it. my friends said the same thing too. i got 11. i was playing it very safely with 5 paragraph, 1 history, 1 literature no personal exp. </p>

<p>regarding your essay justin (i read it again...this time i tried to read every word), you seem to be divulging from the prompt. your thesis and your conclusion talk about the correlation between materialism and happiness. yes that is indeed a great point being made and i can see that you are quite knowledgeable and handle the issue well. BUT i felt that you were molding the prompt to fit your essay. you place a certain emphasis on happiness and i dont know why. maybe that was what u interpreted?...idk. </p>

<p>your literature example is strong. the first one about robber barons was okay in my opinion. </p>

<p>what did u really get on it? i am saying 10.</p>

14

<p>Yeah, I got a 10. Thanks for the input, ill be shooting for a 11 in october, I definitly need to work on my handwriting too I think.</p>

15

<p>heres my essay, its the june heroes topic: Heroes may seem old-fashioned today. Many people are cynical and seem to enjoy discrediting role models more than creating new ones or cherishing those they already have. Some people, moreover, object to the very idea of heroes, arguing that we should not exalt individuals who, after all, are only flesh and blood, just like the rest of us. But we desperately need heroes--to teach us, to captivate us through their words and deeds, to inspire us to greatness.</p>

<p>Heroes can be valuable to society as a whole. They can give people someone to look up to and admire. Heroes can also teach people important lessons and help them to feel better when things in their lives are going poorly.</p>

<pre><code> Charles Lindbergh was a famous pilot in the first half of the twentieth century. Many people, young and old alike, considered him a hero. When the Great Depression hit in 1929, and many people lost almost everything, they could still find pleasure by listening to Charles Lindbergh's adventures on the radio. People could be transported to another world where they could forget their problems because of Lindbergh.

When the Nazis began killing Jews in World War II, Oskar Schindler did not act like other Nazis. He took a heroic stance and saved thousands of Jews from death. Although it would have been easier for him to follow the crowd and exterminate the Jews like other Nazis did, he chose to do the heroic thing and help.

Both Lindbergh and Schindler were considered heroes in their time, and they deserve this title. Each of these men helped humanity in his own way. Because they were praised and remembered as heroes, future generations can study them and learn important values, including compassion and courage. If these men were not regarded as heroes, their important legacy may have been forgotten. Celebrating individuals as heroes allows us to remember and learn from the truly remarkable people who distinguish themselves from others and contribute extensively to humanity.
</code></pre>

<p>on the sat paper, it took up about a page and a third.</p>

16

<p>your second point about schindler is not as good as it could be. try to expand more. also think about which examples are good to use. get someone like mahatma gandhi or MLK. i would say 9. what did u really get?</p>

17

<p>yeah close, i got an 8. i was way too worried about running out of time, i seriously wrote that in about ten minutes. i had so much time left and i wanted to add stuff but i couldnt really erase everything so i just left it. at least next time i will know that i have enough time to stop and think about what to write.</p>