<p>With all due respect, these arrangements should be made by the student, not the parent.</p>
<p>Parent can make the arrangements, but it should only be the student chatting with the professor. </p>
<p>I’d make sure my kid had read the department web page. Don’t ask questions answered there, but use the website as a place to find something to ask about. </p>
<p>Here are some questions I’ve saved from previous CC threads; apologies to the original posters for not giving credit:</p>
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<p>I don’t think it’s necessary for the student to make all of the arrangements and appointments. Most students wouldn’t have any idea how long to allow to get between Austin and San Marcos and which to drive to first from home. Often, a parent has access to a computer and phone during regular business hours and the student doesn’t. It’s just expedient for the parent to step in.</p>
<p>Last year Son applied to a school that had its own online application form that had serious technical issues (so bad that they switch forms mid-app season.) I was the only one who had the time during the day to talk to the school’s tech support people to figure out the issues, so I took over the project of figuring out the bugs.</p>
<p>The advisors at UT don’t care. They have nothing to gain from talking to you and your daughter. The school reputation and football team does all the talking, whats it to them? :)</p>
<p>This is the reality :)</p>
<p>^^^^ Not true. My dad is a UT professor - he’s been there since 1965. The only reason my (future) husband went to UT was because of talking to Dad beforehand. DH got more info and encouragement from my dad than any of the other “big-name” engineering schools he called. Most of my profs were great, too, and some of them are still at UT, so I know there are people there who care.</p>
<p>Sorry for the confusion, missiepie. Agree that students dont necessarily need to be making travel arrangements, etc., and understood why you would work with tech support to debug their application issue, especially if your s is in school. And while sometimes the student registers for the campus tours and at othertimes the parent does, IMO, if a student would like to talk to a dept head or faculty member or sit in on a class, the student should make those arrangements. Otherwise it runs the risk of looking like helicoptering. JMO</p>
<p>Navy, I’m not going to assume all that from one phone call, but I must admit that she didn’t seem all that excited to hear from me. </p>
<p>On the other hand, it was pretty easy to get appointments with BOTH dept. chairs at TSU. So maybe there’s something to the “smaller” school…</p>
<p>I know that at SFA, if someone needed to just walk in off the street and talk to the Dean of the College of Forestry, they usually could. He might even get them a cup of coffee too… 
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<p>I guess that kind of “accessibility” and hospitality are more important to some than others…</p>
<p>Or you could look at it as though they aren’t all that busy… LOL!</p>
<p>I know we unexpectedly “dropped in” on the dept. chair of anthro. at Trinity, and he was very nice and accomodating. I was impressed by that. Thought my daughter would be too, but …</p>
<p>John.</p>
<p>limbwalker: Please be careful. In my experience, it could be to the student’s future detriment for a parent to set up this sort of meeting. If you daughter isn’t ready to handle it all on her own, you could role-play the situation with her using Slithy-tove’s excellent examples. You can have her ask and get answers to all your questions. If you show up and do it yourself, they may write her off entirely. If she can’t do it in person, you could help her compose emails that serve the same purpose… almost. I am honestly worried you could create a serious, though unintended problem for your daugher. JMHO</p>
<p>Maine, it’s easy to understand getting personal attention from a member of the family… That’ just makes sense. And I’m sure there are wonderful prof’s. at UT. I’ll “report back” after our visit tommorrow with the “advisor.” </p>
<p>Slithey, I agree that in a perfect world, the child would be asking all the questions. I can see my son doing that in a few years. Just not sure my daughter is comfortable with that. She’s much more comfortable having me “intervene,” at least for now… And I’m more than happy to. But don’t worry. I know when to “shut up.” ;)</p>
<p>Thanks for the questions! I’m be sure to have my daughter go over those tonight…</p>
<p>John.</p>
<p>LW, let her be. If she wants to go to TSU, and it sure seems like she does, let her. She’ll soon realize that she loves it and will stay all 4 years or that she hates it and will move on. Either way, it’s her life.</p>
<p>Exactly right, alh. Thank you for explaining it better! Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, parents just do too much for their kids. Sometimes the kid doesn’t need to initiate the task or take ownership of it when they know if they don’t, a parent will do it for them. My younger s was happy to let me do things for him, if he could get me to do it. He sure was more motivated when it was something important to him!</p>
<p>LW I didn’t get the impression that ML’s dh was “in the family” before talking to ML’s dad. I could be wrong.</p>
<p>And I won’t argue with you about the size of UT vs. TSU. My own dd (also a senior) only looked at <em>very</em> small LACs. My concern as I stated waaaay back in post #78 is your dd may want a bigger challenge academically.</p>
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<p>The reaction may have been much different if your daughter had called. One of my kid’s profs once told me she could not discuss anything about his studies with me, and suggested it was an invasion of his privacy. However, she taught him several independent studies and probably instrumental in his grad school placement. I was just out of line.</p>
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<p>John, this is exactly why we ARE worrying. :D</p>
<p>“I am honestly worried you could create a serious, though unintended problem for your daugher…”</p>
<p>Alh, you’re kidding, right? </p>
<p>We’re talking about an incoming freshman at a state university. And she’s already been accepted and offered a scholarship there. </p>
<p>We’re not going for an “interview.” Just a fact-finding trip…</p>
<p>I can remember dozens of parents and their kids coming to our forestry school to look around and talk to prof’s. Never once can I recall that creating " a problem." Heck, if anything, the prof’s appreciated the chance to meet their folks. Gave them a better sense of where the student was “coming from” so to speak…</p>
<p>Again, if my daughter were more assertive and independant I would recommend or expect her to set all this stuff up and “do it herself.” But that’s not her. My othe two kids are very outgoing and I don’t expect to be all that involved in their transitions to college life.</p>
<p>My daughter has made it very clear to us that she welcomes the help and involvement at this point. As soon as she says “Dad, I can take it from here…” I’ll be more than happy to back off. Trust me.</p>
<p>John.</p>
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<p>I often do way too much for my kids! I just try not to let it end up hurting them. I believe in “behind-the-scenes” way too much. :)</p>
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<p>That is why my husband was better at college visits than I was. We did them in the summer when formal appointments were not always available. I’m such a rule follower that I’d follow the schedule and do nothing else. Husband is very curious - okay nosey - and he would take Son and prowl the halls of the building until he found a prof in his office that they could talk to. They were treated nicely also.</p>
<p>“LW I didn’t get the impression that ML’s dh was “in the family” before talking to ML’s dad…”</p>
<p>Oops. My bad. Sorry.</p>
<p>“John, this is exactly why we ARE worrying…”</p>
<p>LOL! Yea, I guess I can see that… 
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<p>John.</p>
<p>Excuse me. I though you were talking about UT austin. I am sorry…my mistake.</p>
<p>Let’s be clear. I practically held the hand of one of my entering freshman, who needed lots of support, throughout the moving-in, registration weekend. I am not advocating any kind of hands-off policy.</p>
<p>"This silly thread has been at or towards the top of my list every time I do a search of threads Ive previously visited. I usually wont go back to it because the tone of the darned thing gets me edgy. Instead, I ignore it.</p>
<p>I have, however, checked back maybe 3 times since the ONE time I posted, and it pretty much looks the same each time! I’ve promised myself with each peek that I’ll read just one page and then get back off the thing before irritation or confusion sets in. With each peek, its always the same! Same characters. Same veiled or not-so-veiled hostility. Hilarious! What is it about this thread?!"</p>
<p>Simplelife,</p>
<p>It just occurred to me (after your post) that I think, by accident, my daughter’s college selection process (and her Dad’s involvement) has just become “reality TV” for some members here…</p>
<p>Geez, I’m slow on the uptake sometimes…</p>
<p>Well, I hope they at least find it hilarious too… :D</p>
<p>John.</p>