<p>I'm old school . . . I don't text. If I want to speak to someone, I call them up on the phone and talk to them.</p>
<p>So, I have no idea what constitutes "normal" text message usage, and what's excessive. If my kid was on the phone for 3 - 5 hours every day, I'd be concerned, no matter how well he was doing in school. But I have no idea how to evaluate text messaging. The kid tells me he uses texting to check on homework assignments, to ask questions of his teachers, and, of course, to keep up with friends back home. But the quantity seems extraordinary. Suffice it to say, if I were making that many telephone calls each day, I wouldn't have time to eat . . . or sleep!</p>
<p>dogersmom: remember that each person’s turn in a text conversation is counted as a separate text message. It would be like charging us for each sentence (sometimes word) spoken on the phone, back in our teenage days.</p>
<p>dodgersmom - I understand your sentiment, but I decided a few years ago that I had to learn, because it is the “new normal” for communication with teens.</p>
<p>I think text volume can vary greatly from kid to kid. DD routinely sends/receives 1500 texts/month. DS texts much less - maybe 300-400 messages/month. My husband and I probably average 100-200 messages/month. (Obviously our cellphone plan covers unlimited texting!)</p>
<p>I do find it somewhat incomprehensible - I think it is SO much faster just to have a phone conversation - but I’ve adapted. Both kids keep their phones’ ringers turned off all the time, so if I really need to “talk” to them, I send them a text, and ask them to give me a call. They are much, much more likely to respond to a text than to a voicemail message.</p>
<p>My son has always texted a lot! Now that he is in BS I text him too…reminders or encouragement, “hope your game goes well” that kind of thing. His texts are pretty short but the occasional “love you” makes my day! He can reply during a break or study session where a phone call would be too intrusive. If I have a bunch of stuff to tell him I do see if it’s a good time to call because it just takes too long. Anyway it’s only been a few weeks so I’m definitely still figuring it out…</p>
<p>It is hard to comprehend, but don’t let the numbers freak you out! My kid is in the Honor Society, plays 3 varsity sports, orchestra etc and still finds time to send thousands a month. The first time I saw how many she sent I nearly died but then I realized it is obviously not negatively impacting her. They type fast and many are very short. It’s often a way to connect with your frineds on campus…for example lunch?, going to library now etc.</p>
<p>OP: I bet if you are seeing a sudden increase in the number of texts it is most often due to a new girl he is talking to lately! I see a huge difference in the number of texts my daughter sends when she is “dating” someone versus not. Good luck!</p>
<p>I didn’t know I could check that info. His phone is paid for by DH’s company; I don’t think we see a bill. I don’t text or use FaceBook, so I never thought about it, but now I’m curious. I’ll report what I find, assuming I CAN have access to that info. I sure hope it’s not 1,000s. Normal to me is zero. I’m a Luddite–I wish we could all go back to landlines and answering machines that are easily ignored.</p>
<p>ChoatieMom - With all due respect . . . perhaps you’re better off not knowing!</p>
<p>02hockeymom - Thanks, that makes me feel better. It’s also nice to know I’m not the only one who nearly keeled over when I saw the numbers!</p>
<p>PA-C - No comment. ;)</p>
<p>What concerns me is that I have really no idea at all how the heavy volume of text messaging is impacting school work. He says he just doesn’t have time to get everything done . . . but would cutting back or eliminating text messaging make any difference? Obviously, if it were hours on the phone, I’d know the answer to that question . . . but texting is different, and its impact on his time may actually be negligible.</p>
<p>I read and write for a living. Telephone calls are an interruption, but they’re usually few and far between. If, however, I had to switch back and forth from my keyboard to my cell phone to respond to text messages . . . well, let’s just say that “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men wouldn’t be able to put that cell phone together again!”</p>
<p>dodgersmom - it can take up to 10 texts (5 on each side) just to say hello. Generally kids will say something like “hi” and then wait for answer before they then say “wutup” then the other will say “nm” and then s/he will ask “u?” and then your kid will say “same” and then maybe he’ll say “lol” or whatever. Now he’s ready to ask for hw. assignments. It should take another 5/10 texts on the part of both, including commentary about teacher, how much they hate to do their problem sets, etc. Then imagine that he is doing it with several people. Also, is there a set food time, or do they go when they can? He may be arranging dinner with several people. OR they may be a girl he’s interested in… In which case forget it, I have seen a friend of my son (during a car ride and with direct participation of 2 more boys)take an hour and a half to ascertain that a particular girl is going to be at a sports event where he was going.
So yes, all that is a tremendous time drain, but they figure it out in the end.<br>
Generally if he’s texting 1,500-2,000 txts a month, that’s probably the norm for an involved social kid.</p>
<p>Don’t forget about the emoticons. That’s a whole dialogue unto itself.</p>
<p>My DD’s texting is in the neighborhood of what others are saying here. When she was at home she and her best friend would even text each other photos of what they were wearing that day to get advice on their outfits. (Now they’re in different time zones so it doesn’t work to do that, and she has dormmates for that anyway).</p>
<p>Texting is just one of a whole variety of possible distractions and at boarding school our kids have to learn how to juggle those distractions for themselves. It might mean some academic bumps and bruises along the way but in the end I believe they’ll be better time managers than they would be with us telling them what to do every day. At least I hope so!</p>
<p>Personally, I don’ think the texting is what causes a child to not have enough hours in the day to get it all done. I will say upfront I am the luckiest mom in the world–my daughter was born organized. Started using a day planner and whiteboard (both her idea) when she was in 4th grade. This is her 4th year in boarding school and her comment is always that her peers don’t take advantage of the little pockets of time in the day and that is what causes them big problems. The free periods during the day, the time on the bus to the away game, the chunk of time between dinner and study hall–you can’t socialize during all of those or you will get behind. I think that is the tough time managment lesson that the kids have to learn. It’s hard to go to your room and start studying before study hall when your friends are all in the common room.</p>
<p>My kids don’t text nearly that much, but I agree that even at the level of 100 texts per day, it’s probably less distracting than getting phone calls or visiting a lot (which is what I did in college), because texts don’t have to be answered right away. That said, as a college instructor, I see way too many kids addicted to their cell phones to the point that they will sit and text in the front row, right in front of me, when they are supposed to be working on something else. They’re nice kids…I honestly think it’s just instinctual behavior…but obviously not a good idea. So I think if I saw my kids texting that much, I’d be a little concerned, especially if they were complaining about not having enough time to get things done. But we’ll see where I am when my little girl starts texting…</p>
<p>My kids always keep their ring tones off. I finally gave into texting them because I could get ahold of them right away. Thats when I learned a new language. OMG, LOL and LMAO. I was not happy to learn what LMAO meant. (Read that one on DC unattended phone this summer)</p>
<p>How about the positives of texting? While visiting colleges, sometimes we had questions. If my kid knew someone attending the college, we could get an answer in minutes–seconds, even.</p>