<p>My phone rang at 2:30am this morning. It was my sons number but a female voice on the line my son was in the ER; intoxicated and vomiting blood. Seems there was a rather large dorm party with extreme amounts of alcohol being consumed. When my son became violently ill everyone (the friends he has made in the last 10 days) turned the other way except one freshman girl who realized he was in serious trouble. Turns out at least one room had already had an alcohol violation and didn't want to get caught again. This girl called the RA and paramedics.....</p>
<p>He was in serious trouble besides the intoxication he is a type 1 diabetic...no matter how many discussions we have had he felt he had a handle on it....There is a huge chance last night he would have not survived without this wonderfully heroic young lady. I am eternally grateful because she only knew him for a few hours but decided his life was worth any repercussions she might face. Turns out there is amnesty if someone needs hospital care.</p>
<p>So, prayers and a huge thank you to my sons angel....and kudos to her parents for raising a selfless and mindful child.I will be eternally grateful to still have my son.</p>
<p>I think a huge lesson will be learned. He’s sister was with him at ER and said he was very apologetic…Being totally irresponsible is not typical of him…but you can never properly prepare for the mob mentality of doing something totally out of character.</p>
<p>I’m sure your son learned his lesson, but more importantly I hope those around him learned theirs.</p>
<p>The freedom of being away from parents gets to kids’ heads. On the face of things, being drunk seems much more fun than being principled, but things can get out of hand so quickly when people are still learning their limits.</p>
<p>Such lessons are absolutely what residential college is for, although it’s a shame his had to be so severe, and that he had to learn it in St. Barnabas Hospital.</p>
<p>Goodness. Well, first of all…I am glad he is in recovery and will survive. Alcohol and diabetes do NOT mix even on a good night. He must NOT drink alcohol. </p>
<p>Second, I am glad someone called 911 and got him to a hospital. And saved his life. Yes there are angels out there.</p>
<p>Third, sadly alcohol is everywhere on every college campus. 21 year old Juniors buy it for younger kids and also some kids get fake ID’s. </p>
<p>Fordham is no exception. Kids escape the clutches of mom and dad and succumb to peer pressure and wanting to fit in and do stupid things. Then it can cascade into disaster. </p>
<p>Fordham is a tough school with lots of pressure. So kids look to escape pressure in the wong manner…booze, sometimes drugs. </p>
<p>I would get on the phone and demand that the RA’s write up the bad actors and if they are repeat offenders, get them out of there. </p>
<p>Someone fell out of a bunk bed a year or so ago and had massive injuries. Drunk. </p>
<p>However, not everyone drinks at Fordham…or drinks to excess. The usual abusers are freshmen. You must be strong in spirit to fight off the temptations and cat calls for those who decline to party. The rewards for hard work are wonderful.</p>
<p>My advice: Counsel him when he is better…tell him to FIND NEW FRIENDS PRONTO. Stay away from the party animals, some of whom will flunk out by Thanksgiving after mid-terms. Fact.</p>
<p>Campus Ministry at Fordham is FABULOUS. Weekend retreats that are spiritually and mentally HEALTHY. They to up to the Hudson River Valley to a special place. Relax, talk, reflect, advise, support and LOVE. Get him over to Campus Ministry. Wonderful people. Many students and mentors there. (One, named Randy, recently left for another post elsewhere…he was a Godsend to my kid for two years.)</p>
<p> I agree its the understanding that with alcohol that it when it turns bad - you are typically past the ability to stop the snowball. Which in turn leads to horrible end results.</p>
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<p> I respect your comments but while I prefer he not drink alcohol on a regular basis; which he doesnt. As an adult you can drink alcohol responsibly as a diabetic. He spent most of the summer in Europe and drank there without incident. Except in Europe Binge drinking isnt the norm; this was his first and from talking with him his last experience of this type. It was the drinking in large quantities just to drink that is dangerous for all but for TD1s especially dangerous.</p>
<p>I have no idea who the bad actors are and as the days have unfolded the accounts of the night has shifted ever so slightly and because of the level of intoxication doesnt really recall all the points of the evening. Another dangerous thing he has learn comes from excessive drinking…the loss of memory.</p>
<p>He definitely will move back into the realm of more controlled freshman. Being the talked about for not positive reasons is a first for him and he realizes he can over come it but it will take actions and time. He is highly embarrassed by his actions and the end results; which is a good place to be as a parent looking at him after the events.</p>
<p>It seemed to be an evening mix of people he didnt know and some of his friends; I think he will concentrate on being a sober example in the future. In HS he was able to have a variety of friends because he was confident in himself. I think heading off to college has caught him off balance and he needs to refocus and return to his true self and he will be fine.</p>
<p>I appreciate the recommendations of the campus ministry but I think that might be to much for him right now. He has grown up in a religious community and attended 13 yrs of religious school; I think he needs a little while to learn how to apply the lessons he has learned on his own.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the comments. He has learned a valuable (yet dangerous lesson); he is moving forward with a new (more like back to the old) focus. I think this may have jumpstarted him back into the proper reality.</p>
<p>kc: I am not judging you or him. My own kid had a lot of tumult freshmen year…but not caused by binge drinking…and the challenge of adjusting to college life, life in New York and the peer pressure is enormous. So…</p>
<p>again…</p>
<p>Send him to Campus Ministry. They wont proselytize or be Bible thumpers. Its more spiritual and HEALTHY MIND/HEALTHY BODY type of stuff. Strong friendships. Trust me on that. Those weekend retreats are just fabulous. GOOD FOOD. Excellent digs. I wont spoil the details…but lots of fun.</p>
<p>My D had to “change friends” a few times. But the CORE friendships she made Freshmen year lasted to today…about 10 of them. All finished Phi Beta Kappa. Hint: THEY STUDY TOGETHER as “dates” and DiDNT GO CLUBBING or BINGE DRINKING IN DORMS. </p>
<p>From Junior year on they had apartments on campus and drank wine or beer periodically. Always in moderation. </p>
<p>So give your kid a hug…from me. Mistakes are made. Hopefully the LAST time he does that. Dangerous. Alcohol poisoning is serious stuff. </p>
<p>If he drinks, he must follow the Rule of 2. Two beers and STOP. Two glasses of wine and STOP. NEVER mix 2 types of alcohol. Stay with one. </p>
<p>He needs to go to the Botanical Gardens which are FREE on Wednesdays. Or the Zoo. Healthy fun. A chance to blow off steam and get away from pressure for a short time.</p>
<p>Oh I by no means felt you were judging me or him. </p>
<p>He is close with his sister and she is a 21 yr old going on 35…LOL graduated NYU early and is now the Associate Producer of Media of a nationally syndicated show…she is a home body and still has a great life. I think she will make sure he pursues other outside activities that will benefit him; including seeking out great campus options. </p>
<p>I am glad to hear that he is ok and I am certain that he will approach alcohol use very carefully in the future. If he chooses not to drink, he WILL find plenty of company. As you know, my S is also a Theatre major and he doesn’t drink at all and for the most part, neither do any of his friends or roommates. While I am sure your S will have a handle on this now, I am also sure that if he ever feels he wants to talk to someone about those kinds of pressures or anything else, I know that my S would invite him up to his suite in a heartbeat so feel free to PM me for contact info. There are many upperclassman who take an interest in mentoring the freshman and even the sophomores and my S takes that very seriously…through the Theatre department he’s actually been assigned to mentor one of your S’s classmates (glassharmonica’s D) and will continue to mentor a Sophomore Playwriting major.</p>
<p>The adjustment to college has its ups and downs and everyone deals with something. Some of the problems I have heard that kids have encountered have been with drinking and drugs, not eating properly, skipping classes and not doing the work, and my own very responsible S dealt with spending a crazy amount of money his first two months of school that calmed down after a chat when he realized he would be out of money by the end of the semester if he kept spending at that pace! I think the new found freedom just takes some getting used to. It’s part of the growing process.</p>
<p>Anyway, I am so glad that he is alright and had his sister at the hospital with him! I hope that YOU are alright too, now, what a scary and horrible experience for both you and your child!</p>
<p>Praying that things settle down for you both now! Things can only get better, right?</p>
<p>Thanks Sandkmom. I have faith it will settle down to a more normal routine for him. This binge drinking was very out of character but we all make mistakes. Unfortunately his had horrible results…It seems this was a large group of theater majors not only freshman as near as I can figure and they were partying in many different rooms.</p>
<p>I hope he finds some normalcy without alcohol; which should be fairly easy since it wasn’t big part of his need to fit in in any other part of his life. So, I’m just taking a deep breath has we get half way through a week heading toward a weekend. I’m confident that all will be well but I’m still scared.</p>
<p>When both my daughters went off to college, they each recertified for first aid. Many of the people in the class were going off to college. So the instructor kept those who wanted to after for an extra tutorial on common college problems, like how to recognize alcohol poisoning, over dosing, etc and how to handle. And to not fear call 911 because people might get in trouble. My oldest daughter twice had to intervene…</p>