<p>Has anyone else seen the google chrome commercial - Jess and her apparantly widowed dad are communicating via email, video-chat, IM etc. as she navigates her first year in college and he navigates his now very empty nest.</p>
<p>I skype with my S at school, but it's nothing like the relationship that these two have - it's really a struggle sometimes to maintain a conversation with him sometimes.</p>
<p>So, how do you nurture and maintain that long-distance relationship with your kids at school?</p>
<p>You’ll probably get as many answers to this question as there are people on CC. Part of the answer will depend on your son’s willingness to communicate. You’ve probably already heard that it’s typical for sons to pull way back when they start college, and sooner or later they’ll feel secure enough in their independence to let you in again. To be honest, my son’s a junior and I’m still waiting for the turnaround. But I understand that it’s healthy for our children to establish their own lives and boundaries, and that males need to make that emotional break from their mothers… so part of nurturing that long distance relationship is to perhaps be open to this awkward phase for a couple of years. Not always easy :)</p>
<p>I personally, don’t like Skype. I don’t like the delay and pixelated image. My preferred way to communicate actually is email/text. Quick little contacts to keep in touch without the burden of having to have an instant reply. </p>
<p>You might try this as a way to stay connected. Send a text (not too many ) when you see something that if your S was around you would have said it to him. Periodically send a link of something you saw or read that was funny or intelligent though I know my son doesn’t want to click on anything too long. </p>
<p>I think the rhythm is different for every family. We live in a multi story house so used to text each other or call on our cells rather than yell, so for us, it is just a continuation of the same.</p>
<p>We used to do more video chat but it’s almost all instant message now. The problem with video chat is that it uses a lot of CPU resources so laptops can get hot running the application. I tried out Google video chat on my Android tablet though and that worked out much better. The tablet doesn’t get hot and I can easily carry it around the house. I can do this on the iPhone too but I haven’t tried it out yet.</p>
<p>We did do the thing where we left the videochat on for a few hours - it’s like the person is in the next room.</p>
<p>annie, I think girls are much more likely to communicate w/ their parents than boys. My DD (graduated May 2012) and I text each other several times a day. We tend to use emails for sharing web links or when we need to communicate specific info such as dates, time, prices, etc . She texts w/ DH also but not as frequently. They play Words w/ Friends, which really isnt communicating but DH really likes the connection. When we want to talk about something we first send a text - call me and indicating the level of urgency. D and I usually chit-chat daily or every-other-day and she usually talks w/ DH about once or twice a week.</p>
<p>Like Lakemom, mostly we text - just little things throughout the day. Also, on the weekend, if I’m up late and online and I notice she’s on, we’ll instant message for a while. That’s kind of cool because I know we have each others undivided attention.</p>
<p>It’s hard letting go. My daughter and I are VERY close, always have been, still are. But she IS a grown up (mostly) now. So the thing I’ve found the most helpful in keeping our relationship close is to verbally acknowledge her independence even if I’m giving her guidance or information I think she might need.</p>
<p>For example:
“Hey, you probably already know this - I know you’re on top of everything, but I noticed the date for submittal of honors contracts is approaching. Did you pick already? Is it going to be difficult?”…lead into discussions about classes (which she loves)</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>“Dad and I were thinking about coming for Parents Day - but we know you’re busy with fraternity stuff and getting set up for honors and everything. Would you rather us wait until a time that’s more convenient for your schedule?”</p>
<p>Just little acknowledgements that she’s the one that is important and in control and making the decisions and responsible and we know SHE’S DOING A GOOD JOB. We take it for granted unless we hear otherwise. We have confidence in her. We don’t make a big deal, or shower her with praise or anything - just little comments that let her know that we respect her, her space, her decisions, her time, etc.</p>
<p>I love the commercial the OP refers to. Alas, I know it’s pure fiction because the picture is never really THAT good on google hangout. Nor is it THAT stable. </p>
<p>In spite its drawbacks, by family is pretty faithful about doing a video chat once a week. It’s much more important now that both kids are away at school. Sometimes there’s a lag in the conversation. That’s usually the cue to wrap it up, or let the kids talk to each other privately. Sometimes they talk to te dog, too.</p>
<p>We facetime with D on ipad. Love it! We sit on our respective sofas and just chat a while.
Never had any problems with lag time or picture.<br>
H is always texting S–mostly sports stuff. Okay, always sports stuff…</p>
<p>We don’t do videochats, though D does it with her friends. We see D & S periodically, when we can get to LA, plus both come home for Christmas & both still consider our place “home.” Both were able to come home for some time together this summer as well. We are fortunate that our travels intersect with S & D.</p>
<p>They also SOMETIMES respond to texts & phone calls.</p>
) when you see something that if your S was around you would have said it to him. Periodically send a link of something you saw or read that was funny or intelligent though I know my son doesn’t want to click on anything too long. </p>