The Kids Are All RightAre alarmists right about kids and the college-admission crisis

<p>A review of The Overachievers, by Ann Hulbert, on Slate. com
<a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2149081/?nav=tap3%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.slate.com/id/2149081/?nav=tap3&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>I loved the picture. :)</p>

<p>I wish someone would, just once, start an article like this out differently, Instead of:
"As if panic at the ordeal of getting a child into a selective college weren't bad enough..."
with this:
"As if panic at the ordeal of getting a child into a decent college that they can afford without financial ruin weren't bad enough..."
<strong>sigh</strong> Why do I always feel like I am the only one with this problem? If only ALL I had to do was stress about my kids merely getting into the schools they want to go to...</p>

<p>Anyway, sorry for that hijack (temp insanity) --</p>

<p>I sure am glad I don't live in a culture like the one described there. Blech. I liked the "findings" though - "None of the seniors ends up with the options he or she started out thinking were essential—and none of them collapses, or connives against anyone else. They accommodate energetically and commiserate wryly, looking ahead together rather than bitterly licking their wounds. They're models of maturity.."</p>

<p>Definitely a different point of view than what is often expressed on this forum!</p>

<p>Do any others who have read the book share the reviews point of view?</p>

<p>What a wonderful characerization--this makes me want to read the book more. </p>

<p>I got a similar message from reading "the Gatekeepers." Some kids got exactly what they wanted, some had too many choices, some seemed not to have nearly what they thought they wanted. Yet all seemed to end up with options they can live with,and all seemed like real kids with real lives. Maybe, like so many times, reality doesn't fit the boxes that the headline writers want it to.</p>

<p>(deleled...)</p>

<p>This book I might actually want to read.</p>

<p>I agree, great article that really makes me want to read the book. It is nice to see that kids are still being kids and not the media described "college crazed" students. I know that kids at my son's hs are definitely more concerned about homecoming and having fun senior year than they are about padding their resumes for college admission. Of course, most kids around here are pleased as punch to get into the state flagship U's.</p>

<p>The thing I noticed about my S and his friends senior year was how unfailingly supportive they were of one another. There was no sense of competition whatsoever. When someone got a college acceptance, everyone was overjoyed; when someone got a denial, they commiserated together. Maybe it's just because we're not a "top" school district, but I tend to think students aren't that different no matter where they are.</p>

<p>I read the book and enjoyed it so much I went out and read Pledged. I now plan to read her book on Skull and Bones</p>

<p>tom, I will say though that I read pledged and she described something that happened at my college while I was there that absolutely did not happen, so take it with a grain of salt.</p>

<p>Garland, I agree that my kids' experience has been that they support each other a lot. However, both kids went out of their way NOT to compete too much with close friends (a choice made by the kids in Robbins' book, too), so that there were only a limited number of head-to-head competitions at schools that would not likely take a lot of kids. Where that did happen, there could be some definite wariness.</p>

<p>I've read the book. Hulbert's review is overly rosy. For example, at least one of the students she follows cheats.</p>

<p>mini: WTH? :)</p>

<p>I'm with you, weenie. D applied to various schools, and we waited to see the FA before she finally made her decision. The school she chose costs us much less than the safety state u. No ED for her!</p>

<p>I have been struggling to read this book for over a month and so far I have missed what the reviewer is talking about. One kid, who is at Harvard, has an overbearing mother. Another of the top students is losing her hair, another had a project stolen. I did not see these kids as enjoying their senior year , so I must be missing something. Maybe it is apparent in the second half of the book</p>

<p>sounds like good reading--maybe I'll have time to read it next year when the admissions frenzy is over...;)</p>

<p>I am reading this book currently and am near the end of it. I think it is a good read, much like The Gatekeepers was as well. Robbins does follow eight kids, but she intersperses their stories with discussion of some of of the key issues on the topic. </p>

<p>A couple of things got me to buy the book. First, here on CC, someone had posted a link to a NYTimes article that had an excerpt from the book (about Julie, the girl who wanted to go to Stanford and saw a college counselor who strongly discouraged her from applying even though she was an appropriate candidate). Around that time, my 17 year old who goes to college in NYC and was reading The Times called and told me, "Mom, you should read this book!" Then, I saw the picture on the cover of a girl who has umpteen items squeezed into her backback and being carried on each arm (related to her activities, etc.)</p>

<p>Well, the photo made me smile because my older D, who just started her junior year in college, walked out the door like that each day but carrying even way more and in fact, one of her college essays describes this very image in her opening. What cracks me up today is that in the Slate article, the illustration is of a kid with six arms and each arm and leg is involved in a different activity. Here we are three years after my D opened this one essay as such:</p>

<p>"I am jealous of an octopus. I could use more arms. I can barely squeeze through the doorway as I leave for school with my king size backpack on my back, clarinet case flung over one shoulder, skis steadied on the other, and ski poles dangling from my hand, while my second hand is weighed down by my ski boot and dance bags. Evey day is a balancing act. </p>

<p>I cannot recall when I was not happily dragging this many bags...."</p>

<p>She could have used that illustration in the Slate article to accompany her essay! ;) When she was home for a few days recently, she saw the book that I was reading and I told her that the image on the cover reminded me of her and her essay as well and she remarked, "but I carried so much more than that girl each day!" And it was true, because she was in many sports and areas of performing arts, and one of her sports involved carrying skis, poles, boots, helmet, etc. to school each day in addition to all the rest for dance and instrumental music, etc. </p>

<p>The title of the book also got me interested because many would consider my children as "overachievers". However, the BIG BIG BIG difference between their lives and the atmosphere depicted in the book is that my kids were not in a competitive atmostphere, not pushed, not stressed about colleges at a young age, etc. They are driven kids internally (and I certainly literally drove them to a lot of activities!) but none of the sense that is depicted in that book happened in my kids' lives. I read about others on CC who live in such communities or whose kids attend schools like Whitman. Kids where I live were not discussing colleges, test scores, ranks, and all that jazz. There was not strategizing for val. There was no pressure from parents about getting into particular colleges. The book describes the frenzy in some cities like NYC to get kids into elite preschools and kindergartens. Nothing like that happens here. The story of a boy nicknamed AP Frank in the book (truly a disconcerting story) is nothing remotely like anyone in my community. The book is not such an eye opener for me as I have read enough on CC to realize what it is like in some environments that clearly differs from my own kids' experience. Even my kids would agree that while they were achievers, it was nothing like what these other kids' lives are like where there are a lot of outside pressures. My kids never chose things to look good for college. They didn't really discuss colleges until they came to the year before applying. They looked into schools that interested them and had free rein to pick wherever they wanted to go and got into. They didn't discuss it hardly ever with other kids. They were not "competing" with classmates whatsoever. Come spring, kids shared where they were going and supported each other. </p>

<p>The kids in that book are not that different than my kids in terms of the activities and so on, but the atmosphere surrounding them was VERY different. The pressures were very different. My D talks in her essay about her hectic and very full life and the balancing act of her many "sides" (she is a very well rounded type of kid), but how she'd feel incomplete and out of equilibrium if one of her sides were missing. She loves balancing all her diverse sides, and while she may need more arms to do that, she loves everything she does. She doesn't feel she HAS TO do any of these things. She just WANTS to do them. She did them way before high school and college admissions came up in her life and now that she is in college as well. So, none of it was a pressure cooker to get into college. It was more just being happy doing so many things. I recall her guidance counselor talking about this in his report and while my D's life was incredibly full of activities, that she was such a happy kid doing it all. </p>

<p>So, overachievers can encompass kids who are quite happy and love what they are doing for its own sake and not for some big "race" to get into college. That was the big difference in environments that I see between Whitman and other descriptions/topics in the book and my own kids' lives even though many describe my kids as "achievers". Internal drive is not the same as all these outside pressures to join a "race" and compete. </p>

<p>There are many likeable kids in Robbins' book. They are pretty much like many achieving kids. The pressures surrounding some of them are disconcerting at times. Read about AP Frank, which is an extreme case. The atmosphere there is also competitive. An example is the girl whose "bridge project" was stolen. So, as I said to my D when she saw the book I was reading and when I said the photo on the cover reminded me of her, that the atmosphere that many of these kids grew up in are so different than my kids experienced and how truly grateful I am about that. No offense is meant to those who live in communities or attend schools like Whitman. Just saying that the whole admissions frenzy, etc. is very different in those communities than in ones like my rural community and frankly, it is refreshing to not be a part of that. There is enough stress without it!</p>

<p>I think the "competition" of college admissions is creating a nifty cottage industry including books, admissions consultants, test prep courses, summer enrichment programs, etc.</p>

<p>With so many great books on the shelves of my university and local public library, I think I will pass on The Overachievers and read Updike's or Matthiessen's latest work instead.</p>

<p>Soozie:</p>

<p>Did you feel that the NYT review (which highlighted the negative anecdotes) or the more rosy Slate review gave a truer picture of the book's overall contents and tone?</p>

<p>I have reservations about the term "overachiever." It suggests excessive, over-the-top commitment to achieve. I,too, had an internally driven kid, but he never ever gave us the feeling that he was overcommitted. For some reason, he combined a drive to challenge himself intellectually with a really laid-back attitude toward grades and test scores. Had he been focused on grades, we would not have allowed him to take advanced classes.</p>

<p>As well, although he was surrounded by high-achieving kids, I don't recall kids sharing SAT scores, GPAs, etc...or crying because someone got into HYPSM while they did not. Maybe that was the consequence of attending a school that is not competitive like Whitman.</p>

<p>
[quote]
I think the "competition" of college admissions is creating a nifty cottage industry including books, admissions consultants, test prep courses, summer enrichment programs, etc.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>AMEN to that.</p>