The Nagging begins...

Parents Forum
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<p>Well, my son is taking the SAT IIs soon and has not yet cracked open a book. He just completed his second round with the SATs (CR720, MA760, Wr740) and I am anxious for him to do well on the SAT IIs. I was a first generation college student who went to a large state school and really want more for him.</p>

<p>Yes I know I shouldn't nag. Yes, I know it is his job to work through this process. But, I am paying for college and with a high EFC, my husband and I are hoping for some merit aid.</p>

<p>My son seems very academically motivated (close to a 4.0 unweighted, one B+) with many AP classes and a Smith College class but actually getting him motivated to see the BIG PICTURE here with the SAT IIs. has been difficult.</p>

<p>Any advice on moving him along of should I just sigh and do something else. :)</p>

<p>thanks.</p>

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<p>Sigh, I know. I, too, wanted more for my kids, and the SAT2s are something that a student with a little time can increase his scores. You can nag, manipulate and force.</p>

<p>My opinion, however, is that you should save your energy for more important battles. Merit awards are almost all based on SAT1 scores. My son who had very high SAT1s but not so great grades with a 3.0 unweighted, got a lot of merit money offers. I don’t think the SAT2 entered into any of them. </p>

<p>The most competitive merit awards look for something in addition to the test scores in life story hardships, 1st generation, URM, life changing type ECs in addition to top grades and test scores. I don’t think the SAT2s enter into it.</p>

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<p>What helped with the SATs? His scores are great! Hopefully he chose subjects he is quite comfortable with, and maybe even took their AP tests. He has probably done lots of prep work at school, and so long as he’s comfortable with the testing format (know what kinds of questions) and the timing, he might be all ready. My kids hardly prepped for those tests also and got scores like 750-800.</p>

<p>About the nagging: it may be our nature, or our relationship, but relax. This is going to be a VERY long year. Just based on scores and gpa, he already has a great start.</p>

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<p>If you’re really feeling disposed to sigh over a kid with 2220 SATs who is one B+ short of a perfect GPA, just because he’s not going crazy about his SATIIs, then are you sure he’s the one in your house who is having trouble seeing the big picture?</p>

<p>EDIT: And to echo what limabeans said–my kid had similar overall SATs to yours, did zero prep for his two SATIIs (world history and Spanish) and got a 750 and a 710. If your kid is a dedicated student and a good test-taker, it’s highly unlikely he won’t excel, regardless of how much specific prep work he does. Relax and enjoy. So many parents would be deliriously happy to be in your shoes.</p>

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<p>I agree with limabeans. Your son is clearly a good student, so if the SAT IIs are in subjects he took this year he should have retained enough to do very well.</p>

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<p>I disagree with the above posts. I have seen many kids with great SAT scores not perform as well on SAT subject tests. It also depends on what exam they are sitting for. Just let him know that just because he did well before it does not mean that he does’nt need to prepare.</p>

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<p>Shell, the need for prep may depend on what state you live in and which AP courses your son has taken. If he has taken the equivalent AP course, then it does seem like overkill to prepare for an SAT subject test. If your state curriculum standards are a pretty good match for the material covered in the SAT subject tests he has chosen, then again, probably he’s fine. My kid did a fair amount of prep (by his choice) because he had to learn a lot of the material from scratch.</p>

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<p>My oldest daughter only took two SAT IIs even though she was a very good test taker and student- younger daughter didn’t take any- make it clear which that some colleges prefer " which I interpret as require", SAT IIs but many don’t.</p>

<p>If he limits his choices by his decisions- well that is logical consequences and you have to learn it sometime.
;)</p>

<p>I don’t think either studied for SATs- younger daughter did also take ACT.</p>

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<p>op also needs to figure out which is more important in their scenario. merit aid or state school. some of the better merit scholarships may come from state universities both in and out of state whereas there wont be much or any merit aid at the very selective schools. he might already qualify for a full ride or close to it regardless of satII especially if he is an NMF.</p>

<p>there is a list somewhere of the schools that would require satII as part of admission…alot do not even require any</p>

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<p>Definitely prepare for SAT IIs. I didn’t have time to prepare for my first round, so I chose ones that I didn’t necessarily need to prepare for: Math I and II and Literature. I got a 780 Math II and a 770 Math I, and a terrible score on Literature (720 I think). This was back in May of 09, with no prep. Studied my ass off (1 month) for Chem in October with really no background in the subject whatsoever, got an 800, 750 on Literature with no prep. Studied a bit for Literature with practice, got an 800 in November. Studying definitely does help an immense amount. SAT IIs are all about studying - the reason why schools consider them almost if not entirely equally to SAT Is - they test a student’s dedication and willingness to work hard to achieve academic success.</p>

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<p>Or just take the ACT.</p>

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<p>

Sigh. Only at CC.</p>

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<p>Son basically looked over the SAT II books after taking the class and did a few practice tests. He did exceptionally well on SAT II’s compared to his SAT’s in general. In the end though, he did not submit any SAT’s to the schools who would take ACT’s in lieu of SAT/SAT II’s as he did so much better on the ACT overall. Of course, this was last year and before score choice. </p>

<p>And speaking of that, I havent heard much about how score choice went for people (if schools were opting out of choice and required all scores regardless or…).</p>

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<p>And people are shocked when honors students murder their parents.</p>

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<p>These are perfectly good scores, but nothing that is going to get remarkable attention at super-selective schools or really high merit awards at some selective schools. </p>

<p>That could be just fine. On the other hand, if you’re relying on him to get big merit awards in order to help meet college costs, then it might be good to have the discussion with him about what you’ll contribute to college, and what options merit scholarships might mean beyond that.</p>

<p>I was pretty clear with my D what she needed to accomplish score wise – a stretch, but not an extreme one by any means – and what that would mean in the way of options. She did it, and then had those options. I don’t feel bad about that at all – we couldn’t have afforded the OOS public or EFC+ at any of the selective private colleges she wanted to attend without her getting a decent merit award. In the end, she got very nice merit awards that brought our cost down below our EFC at several of the privates as well as some very good public options. </p>

<p>Had she not, she’d have gone in-state, or to a much less selective private with great merit aid because that’s what we could afford.</p>

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<p>I hope it’s not tacky to quote oneself – but a parent on another thread was concerned because her son was not interested in the college search – and your challenge is similar – a lack of interest. So, I will post here what I told her. Please filter through and see if you can’t trade some humor and bribery for the nagging.</p>

<p>Here goes</p>

<p>OK, mom of two guys here. Sounds like you are sucking all of the fun out of the process. No wonder the kid is apathetic. </p>

<p>So, let’s make it fun. </p>

<p>1) Say “You have a choice. You need to visit one large, public school and one small private school so you understand those two flavors. We can take you or we can take you and a friend or we can send you and a friend. Pick one path for us during the next two weeks. I will expect your travel decision on June X and we will discuss it over dinner at Taco Hut (or wherever he likes). If your buddy is in on it, he gets to come to dinner too.”</p>

<p>2) Say “Parents tend to obsess on this stuff. So, I am going to spend the next two weeks coming up with the most far out majors and colleges that I can so I can toss them at you. You get to pick the biggest groaner award.” So, now you do a daily note on the front door (wherever he exits) that describes Muggle Studies class or Sea Urchin farming. Make sure you cover Deep Springs College and Webb Institute. By digging out the odd nooks, he will have a reaction. Every “God, NO” is narrowing the field and you might hit a “really? you can study that?”</p>

<p>3) Tell him that you will ease off until you are about to have kittens so he should expect some ebb and flow in the nagging. Start joking now whether you are in “high tide” or “low tide” worry mode. </p>

<p>He is going to be surrounded by this stuff at school. He may be doing more thinking and learning about colleges than you realize. “Home” may be his space away from the rat race and he may resist you making it to more of the rat race. </p>

<p>If it were me, I would tape up a list of the high powered schools and put a THREE word description beside each school (This is your research project, not his). Ask him to apply to one on the list just to make you happy. (Some parents have a burning desire for “Ivy League” and don’t realize that UPenn is big and urban, Dartmouth is much smaller and more outdoorsy and Harvard and Yale are not interchangeable units. Nor are Caltech and MIT). </p>

<p>You can make this smart young man seriously nuts as a shrill, demanding parent. You can also play the part of enthusiastic and goofy and loving Labrador Retriever, ready to go on an adventure with him. Tell him this. Make him laugh and see your slobbering over him as a joyous love. You are pent up with energy, ready for him to fling the ball into flight so you can go thundering into action and he’s . . . snoozing on the sofa. How dare he!</p>

<p>Please, much less shrill and hand wringing and far more laughs and invitations to liberty. If he wants to go with a friend to the opposite coast to visit a campus, pull out your wallet and make it happen — or at least find a similar college nearby and get the pair a bus ticket. Make it fun and make it NOT all about you being there every breath of the way.</p>

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<p>So, for testing, you can block out “Keep MOM sane time” on the calendar for an hour. Tell him that you are a nervous wreck over the testing, which is your problem not his. Tell him he has a choice: he can spend the hour working on SAT prep or he can help you with a household project you have in mind (clean the bathrooms, paint the garage, tackle the garden). Under this scenario, Mom is fine at the end of the hour. Either he has done work for the test or for the household, either one of which makes mom happy. </p>

<p>He may take this as a challenge of your will. He may choose “paint the garage.” If that is the case, then paint merrily with him, tell him “THank you!” and then go have a drink with a fellow mother. </p>

<p>Tell Son that there may be many “keep mom sane” moments in the upcoming 9 months. You adore him. You want the best for him. You need an outlet for your neureosis. These are all good things because it will make him long for liberty and be ready for college. You being a nutcase is part of that liberty prep. Tell him that. Laugh over this so there is no shouting. He might actually crack the book for half an hour if you set it up so that it is a “make me so happy” deal instead of a “do what I say because I am the boss of you” thing.</p>

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<p>Olymom: Brilliant.</p>

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<p>If there’s enough time to take the tests twice, maybe studying the first time isn’t necessary.</p>

<p>A case can be made for taking the tests cold and seeing what the scores are. If the student considers them satisfactory, mission accomplished. If not, there’s still time to review the material and take the test again.</p>

<p>I say this as a parent of a student who took the Math 2 Subject Test “for practice” with zero preparation on the day when she took the U.S. History Subject Test “for real.” She got a 790 on the math, which anyone except for a few unusual individuals on these boards would consider satisfactory. Sometimes you get lucky.</p>

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<p>Here’s what I would do. I’d give him the blue book with the samples of real SAT2’s. Ask him to take the tests in the subjects he’s signed up for. (That’s two or three hours at most.) See what the scores look like. If they are in range no nagging needed. My kids did very minimal studying for the SAT2’s. They were both taking AP US History and had just finished prepping for the AP so that was easy. They also took the SAT for the AP Science they were taking at the time. (Bio for younger son, Physics for older son.) They both took math, older son did extremely well. Younger son (who is slow at math) didn’t like his score and ended up taking Lit which required no studying. Both my kids needed 3 SAT2’s, but I think there is now only one school left that requires 3.</p>