Hi!
I’m coming off of two gap years (thanks to the pandemic…) and I’ve got a decision coming up that’s driving me crazy.
I’m a jazz pianist, but I’m interested in exploring a childhood passion through illustration and animation and seeing where that may go. For my first year-or-two, I’m hoping to explore both subjects as an undecided major to get a feeling for the subjects and whether or not I enjoy studying them. From there I hope to have a sense of what I want to pursue and transfer into the major of my choice or a different school entirely which may have the major I’m interested in.
I luckily have connections to Indiana University’s (excellent) music program since I take lessons from the professors there. I have one of the piano professors who’s really taken me under his wing and is willing to work with me in order to ensure that I get everything I need should I want to transfer into the music program after my first year.
At The New School, I have the same general plan but haven’t been able to make many connections with the professors. The thing that draws me towards The New School as far as the school itself goes is their excellent art program. I’m not sure of how their jazz program measures up to Indiana’s.
Some of the things I like about Indiana are the larger and (seemingly) more active music program, the students seem a bit more social and down-to-earth for the most part, and the fact that I‘ve been getting a lot of attention and support to make sure I get what I need, at least from the music department. Also there’s a ton of non-art/music related subjects that I could try as well in the case that I want to do something less artistic.
For The New School, I mainly just feel that their art program goes so much further than Indiana’s. I’m worried if I don’t attend there I’ll fall even further behind than I might already be and never really get a chance to explore and experience that side of things. I also love how diverse the school is, but Indiana is diverse as well with even more opportunities for learning about other cultures and languages.
My issue with Indiana is that they only have, like…Drawing I, II, and III. Nothing else. I feel like maybe I could get my basics in there and work with a professor to transfer elsewhere, but if I were to full-on pursue illustration or animation then I would need to transfer.
My issue with The New School is that I just have so many unknown variables with the school itself. Will I get a private instructor for my instrument? Will I be able to even get into art classes or music classes? Will I like the other students? Is the program good for music or just for art? etc.
The decision seems clear, right? Indiana’s offering me a lot more in terms of the subjects that are important to me whereas The New School hasn’t really been as easy to work with in making sure that I get what I want out of my education.
Well, here’s my main issue that’s really tearing me up: I hate the fact that Indiana is a huge school in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. I know, it doesn’t really matter…I’d get a good education and that’s what counts, right? It’s just that I can’t get over the fact that I’ve lived in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere for the last 19 years of my life. I just feel like I don’t and, frankly can’t, be caught in that situation again just because of how much I hate that experience as a young person.
I’ve always wanted to move to a city, even since I was a little kid, and visiting both campuses only reaffirmed that feeling. Plus, and I know this sound stupid, but I want to be in the city while I’m still kind of a kid. I feel like I’m so close to the “adult adult” stage of my life and I don’t want to be stuck in the middle of nowhere for the rest of my younger years.
I feel like I’m running out of time to be the type of person I want to be in a place I want to live. I feel like I’ve spent these last 19 years existing without living my life because nothing ever happens here. I know Indiana is a big school with, probably, a lot going on, but it’s not the same. I want to do things and have things to do outside of the school rather than being cooped up in one tiny area. I feel like I’m panicking and it’s sent me into such a depressive state of mind ever since I came back from my college visits. I can’t get it off my mind and I need to make a decision with Indiana by tomorrow. I don’t know what to do.
My mom says I should go to Indiana, but it’s because she insists I try to get a vaccine exemption and thinks my chances of getting one there will be higher (ugh)…I personally think it’s dumb to place your beliefs so strongly on your children that it starts to put their lives on pause, but it feels out of my power. My life has been on pause for a year or more at least because of this. If I were to get denied an exemption I doubt she’d pay for me to go to college and just tell me to figure something else out since she simultaneously insists I go to college this year…
Anyway, sorry for that little vent at the end but I’m kind of crumbling under stress right now and really resenting my mother for a situation I feel has been placed on me by her.
Anyway…Does anyone have thoughts on either school? Which one may be better or worse given my interests? Thoughts on my situation? Am I overthinking and should I just go with the practical option? Is it valid to not want to go to a school just because of the location? Thoughts on The New School’s jazz program?
Thank you for reading!