So I’ve always been that A plus kid all my life. And now, second semester of junior year my grades are dropping and I’m slacking for no reason. I quit a majority of extracurriculars cause they were causing stress, but now I just come home from school and sleep until dinner and then bs all my hw. I don’t understand what’s happening, because I’ve always loved school and I am taking six weighted classes but so are so many other people. I should be trying harder but instead I’m doing the opposite. Whenever I think of the future everything seems so bleak- like I’m gonna work my ass of in high school only to do the same in college (and learning the material just to pass the tests cause that’s how our school system is) and then I’ll get some job and still be stressed until I freaking die. I know I’m being super pessimistic but I just don’t know what to do. Am I the only one who feels like this? Does it ever get better? Cause right now I’m honestly starting to lose hope.
Its like we are always working to achieve some end but we won’t get there till we die, so what’s even the point of all of this
You forgot taxes. Soon, you will have to start filing taxes, too.
On a more serious note…don’t you find any joy in anything?
Bellaburgandy, what you are describing sounds like depression to me- losing interest in things which once brought you pleasure, mood changes, feeling hopeless, tired a lot. Depression is not uncommon with teens and nothing at all to be ashamed of but definitely not something to ignore. it usually isn’t something you can just snap out of or wish away. You need to talk to someone you trust, ideally a parent but if not another adult, who can find you someone to talk to professionally. I know several teens and many more adults than you’d think who have suffered at one time or another with depression - sometimes it is only once and other times it reoccurs but can be completely managed and life is normal and great.
But what you are feeling isn’t normal teenage stuff, although as I said depression is not uncommon and totally can be helped. Please reach out to someone in a position to really be able to help you so you can get your zest for life back. It’s great that you’ve had the courage to reach out in this forum about this and look for answers. You can get there- I wish you the best of luck!!
There’s this thing called the “flight-or-fight” response, where if a person feels threatened by something, they’ll attempt to “escape” it by any means possible. In this case, as you were passing through your high school life, you must have slowly come to the conclusion that studying and participating in clubs will only hurt you. You fear the stress that working hard will bring you, so you retaliate by procrastinating (flight) and criticizing the system (fight).
I’m explaining this scientifically because this is how I came to understand my own conflicting feelings about school. I built up a lot of stress from school, and the more I thought about the system, the more I hated it, because I knew there were better ways of learning than being bombarded with tests. I began to procrastinate more and more on my work to avoid the stress. Fortunately, I knew enough about psychology and my other research (that I did when procrastinating lol) to realize what was going on with me, and now I’m working even harder than ever.
My advice: Stress can’t hurt you. There’s nothing wrong with working hard; in fact, it’s the only time you’ll ever get a meaningful reward. Going on tumblr and watching anime didn’t make me nearly as happy as when I was complimented by my hard-to-please AP Writing teacher for writing an essay I worked really hard on. The reason why I work so hard now is because I know that the more I challenge myself, the more I have to gain. The more that I study, the more I learn and the more my skills are improved. The harder I work, the better I will be as a person.
Here’s a TED Talk that helped me come to the conclusion that I have now. I highly recommend it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGyVTAoXEU
The moral of the story: Stress will only kill you if you believe it will kill you. Life is what you make of it. And sure, this education system can be a lot better (I know - I wrote a whole damn essay on it), but it’s what we got. The best thing you can do is make sure you benefit from the system by studying for the sake of learning and participating in your school community. Yeah, it could be better, but compared to a lot of other countries that focus all on tests and ranks and less on freedom of thought and individuality, we have it pretty great.
If you’re still asking what the point of everything is, I can’t tell you. You have to find that out. No one is ever going to give you a purpose. It’s up to you to shape your life and work towards an end that’s better for you. Only you know what that will look like.
I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that I helped in some way.
Thank you, this was really helpful. However, I can’t get out of this flight response- procrastination. Its become a bad bad habit and I always end up resorting to it. May I ask how you overcame it? I know that part of it is pure self dedication and self motivation which I completely lack at this moment, but is there anything else I could do rather than just use my will cause it hasn’t worked and it just makes me even more hopeless.
ViaOllie, I am glad you figured out your issue and what worked for you, but a high schooler, smart and well read as you may be, doesn’t have the experience or maturity to diagnose someone. Fight or flight is a real thing but it has nothing to do with what bellaburgundy has described and telling her to learn to deal with her stress is probably not the answer for her, though it sounds like it might have been for you.
I’m no expert in psychology either but one of the benefits of being in your fifties is the knowledge you gain from all the reading you’ve done, schooling and experience you’ve had, and other people you’ve met along the way. I wouldn’t say with 100% certainty that Bella is experience depression but I know enough to know that everything the poster says s/he is experiencing is a classic symptom of depression-and telling someone to deal with their stress and look within for the deeper meaning of life is not the right answer in this particular situation.
Bellaburgundy, please consider talking to a therapist about feeling how you are feeling. It’s not your fault and you don’t have to try to fix this by yourself. Things can be much better, I promise you!
“Whenever I think of the future everything seems so bleak- like I’m gonna work my ass of in high school only to do the same in college (and learning the material just to pass the tests cause that’s how our school system is) and then I’ll get some job and still be stressed until I freaking die.”
I’m not the only one…
High school pressure is really different than college. College has a lot of freedom and flexibility. There’s no reason you shouldn’t have a blast in college. Jr year is very stressful for kids with heavy schedules, push through it. If you can’t, then get helped. Exercise is very important for energy and feel good chemicals in your brain. (And take a break from The Verve)
Hey bellaburgundy, I was in your shoes once too and honestly life after high school is much (emphasis on the much) different from what you expect it to be. Heck you might even eventually later find out that high school is much easier than the real world out there. During near the end of high school junior/senior year I would get anxieties and my grades dropped dramatically, I focused all my attention on what everyone else is doing thinking I should be doing the same too, I worried too much about the future and not about the present which resulted me in dropping out of school. After I dropped out , I had deep regrets in doing in what I had done, just even living throughout the day with thoughts of me throwing away everything that I worked up to just to be thrown away was just appalling. If I had a time machine and reverse what had been done I would do it in a heartbeat. Try job searching online and see what the requirements are, you’ll see that almost every single posting that is not fast food related requires you to have a diploma or GED. The hard work you have now will all be over soon and before you know it after graduating your life could be something fun or whatever you want it to be because as an adult, you can do whatever the hell you want. Whatever you do today affects what your future will be so choose carefully because some things in life you won’t have second chances. Even though you might not know this right now but everyone eventually goes on a different path in life and you will least likely be surrounded by the same people in your high school again after grad. Find something to do that makes you laugh, have fun, get turnt up, be happy as long as you don’t give up , you’ll be fine. By the way you don’t need a therapist.
OK, deep breaths.
While I’m no expert, it sounds to me as though you’re battling depression, and that you need to talk to someone-- NOW.
Print up your post, word for word, and show it to your parents today. And to your guidance counselor on Monday. Sleeping away your life is NOT typical teen behavior, and is a sign of a problem.
You’ve got to find a balance between the pressures you can’t avoid, and the unnecessary ones you’re putting on yourself.
Please, talk to your parents TODAY. No one should be as unhappy as you sound.
Please get back to us and let us know how you’re doing.
Most of us students just learn stuff for the test, not to remember it for the next 5 years. That’s just the way it is… 
Tartetini, please continue to discuss your own experiences and it is fine to say that in your opinion you don’t think someone needs a therapist, but please don’t say it to them as if you have any authority or knowledge of that person’s unique issues and situation. The poster is not talking about finding school difficult or wondering what the point of an education is. The poster has gone from working hard and enjoying school to having bad grades, spending time in bed sleeping, feeling hopeless and helpless. That sounds completely different from how you described your situation. bjkmom - another parent with a bit of life experience, hit the nail on the head - these are the classic symptoms of depression - look it up!
BellaBurgundy, please, continue to read these posts but at the same time, please look into getting some help from someone experienced in these matters at the same time. It isn’t anything to be ashamed of and worse comes to worse, all you’ve done is wasted a few hours talking to someone about your issues, while best and most likely, is that you will figure out how to live the life you were meant to and be happy again, in whatever way that is supposed to be. I have two teenagers and I know their peers can often give them great advice but in something this serious, please trust what the adults are saying over the kids…
@bellaburgundy While I said my procrastination got worse, it never got to the point where I felt so hopeless, and I was always determined to overcome any obstacles because my parents were there to support me.
I’m glad that what I said helped you, but I agree with the others here in that you need to talk to someone you trust and is mature enough to give you guidance. I didn’t realize when I posted, but you might be showing symptoms of depression. If you are, there’s nothing to be ashamed of; more people have been diagnosed with it than you might think, and I bet there are even more people with depression that haven’t sought help, because they either weren’t aware with what was going on with themselves or were in denial.
Either way, what’s going on is pretty extreme. I can’t see you turning your life around alone. Please, find help. There are a lot of misconceptions out there about depression, so I wouldn’t talk about it to just anyone, but there should be someone in your life who would understand.
Good luck. And don’t be too hard on yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong.
Over the years, I’ve taught any number of kids who were suffering from depression. (Teach enough teenagers, and you’re going to come up against it time and again.)
It’s like appendicitis. No matter how many people tell you it’s probably nothing, it’s something.No matter how many people tell you not to worry about it, it’s something to worry about. No matter how many people tell you it will go away by itself, or with sleep, it won’t.
Don’t believe that “stress can’t hurt you.” It can. It can kill you. People who don’t know that simply don’t have enough life experience to know.
You titled this thread “the Nothing I’ve become.” What?? Of course you have not become a “Nothing.” You’re a bright young person with a wonderful future and lots to offer the world.
Once, when my kids were young I called the pediatrician (at 10 pm on a Sunday night, of course.) I asked him whether we should be heading to the ER. His response is one I’ll never forget: If you have to ask, the only possible answer is YES.
You started this thread because your instincts are telling you that what you’re feeling isn’t normal teen malaise. It’s something more serious. LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS.
Speak to your parents, to your guidance counselor, to your favorite teacher. Keep knocking on doors until one opens. If speaking is too hard, print up your post-- in fact, print up the whole thread. Start the dialogue.
You deserve happiness. Everyone does. Take that first step to make it possible, and don’t let anyone tell you that your problem isn’t serious enough to deserve help.
@myjanda I did not share all the specific details of everything I went through and I also did not try to come across as an authority figure by saying that “you don’t need therapy”. What I really meant was there there are other plenty of ways to cope with depression besides therapy because what most of what seems to be only suggestion these parents are saying is to seek professional help. Even if bellaburgundy’s situation is unique , I was just sharing genuinely hoping in some way would make him/her feel at ease and that he/she’s not alone. No one knows him/her personally and if what I said did not help her then so be it.
Omg this is me exactly. I’m a sophomore and I’m starting to feel really lazy everyday. I’m always tired and stay up late doing homework, so I’m obsessed with sleeping whenever I can find the time. Whenever I don’t do as well at a math or piano competition, I get really annoyed and tell myself that I’ll work harder but then I just do my homework and sleep everday. Even when I’m doing homework, I’m really inefficient and always get distracted without much motivation to finish it quickly and make time for other things. I’m really scared I’ll get a B this quarter since my grades are all lowish A’s right now, which sucks because I’m only in sophomore year. Idk what to do 
It would be best if you find a counselor or someone to tell this stuff to that can help you that knows you well. Feel free to respond if you need someone to chat with. Hope you’re doing well 
Do you real feel like you are nothing, or are you positing that your life has become the same thing day after day and won’t change?
If it is the latter, you need to work on YOU. That is, pleasing you. What would make you happy? What do you “not have time for” that could be an incentive to get you back on track otherwise?
Yes, maybe you should see a counselor, but maybe you are just taking a long view that you haven’t before.
Is your issue with your lower grades, or with “no matter how hard I work, it won’t be enough”? When was the last time you saw the sun rise? Or a beautiful flower in bloom?
Little things mean a lot, and you’re important enough to take time out for YOU. Good luck and remember it is what you think of you that counts, not what a piece of paper says about your grades or your test scores.
Thank you everyone. It helps to know that there’s something I can do about this and that this isn’t the way life is supposed to be. I really appreciate what everyone has said and Im going to work hard to improve myself and my way of seeing this world. Thank you