Sylvan8798 tells us it is “not my job” to ferret out why a student is failing – but we are a tonal species. If an instructor is flippant, sarcastic, dismissive or disdainful, then a message is being sent – and it’s not “hey, get yourself checked out throughly. There may be somethings going on health wise that are holding you back.”
The year my son withdrew from WWU there were five suicides in the student body. It’s not that big of a campus. One component of suicide can be the feeling that there is not a path forward to an improved place. A sense of isolation can be deadly.
My background is as a scientist. A cool thing about that training is we are to observe first. Years ago I observed that teacher conferences went better when my husband came with. It was irritating because sometimes he would arrive home from weeks of field work and not be up to speed on school stuff – but when we arrived at the conference suddenly the atmosphere was more respectful, responses more complete, vocabulary more specific than when I had attended by myself. So I told Dear Hubby “You’re coming. Every time.” Often the teacher would address Hubby while I sat like a lump on a log – that worked. Lots to be learned by log sitting.
Same goes for the college student navigating a disaster. It’s not my responsibility to plug every leak or oversee every email – but all hands are on deck until the worst of the storm passes. My sons are amazing men and it is my job to see that they can do fine without me. Their self esteems seem to be amazingly robust – and their experiences with being both smart and failing has (I think) contributed to their widely respected reputations for kindness.