<p>We have several friends who are always inquiring when they hear our kids list of schools about what will we do if they don't get enough financial aid and ask about what are "financial safety's" are. The truth is we don't need aid. I know this would come as a surprise because we live way, way below our means. But we've already put aside all the money our kids would need at a school any school for both college and graduate school. And that is just a portion of our savings. Yes we know we are very fortunate. I'm asking here because I'd like opinions on whether just telling the truth is the best idea, or if that seems like bragging or just being obnoxious and if it's better to be evasive. Thoughts? Could use them from this group. This is coming up surprisingly often when we hang with other senior parents. </p>
<p>(You must be The Millionaire Next Door.)</p>
<p>If you are willing to pay list price for any college, then any admission safety is a financial safety.</p>
<p>Of course, if the admission safety is expensive, that may give away the fact that you have plenty of money for college. But if the student applies to an admission safety that is low cost (e.g. an in-state public university, assuming you live in a state where these are low cost) or which offers an automatic large merit scholarship, that can avoid giving away that fact.</p>
<p>Just mention your state school.</p>
<p>They might be asking because they are looking for ideas themselves… </p>
<p>Honestly, we had financial safeties even when I was pretty sure we wouldn’t need them. I figured I could always get hit by a bus between application time and May 1 (and even later, it might be useful as a transfer student to have applied and been accepted before). If the bus killed me, they would be fine (plenty of life insurance). But my disability insurance is only “meh” (I have it, but I own a small business, and it is terribly expensive – I have enough so we can live on that and social security disability and savings if we have to, but it wouldn’t be pretty). Or if the economy crashed harder than it did in the last 2000s (truly entereing a depression), we might wish we had done it then. So… we had 'em. Didn’t end up using them, but I like to keep options open until the last minute. </p>
<p>State school would be a good one but we’ve already said she isn’t going there because it’s not direct admit to nursing. They know our list and it’s more like " wow. Those schools don’t give much aid, and they are expensive. What are you going to do if they don’t come through". Ugh. I do not want to sound like I’m bragging. Even here. We’ve been lucky and have good jobs and are big savers and have some family money. I’d
Iike to end some of the inquiry by telling the truth but I feel it would be weird to say that to people I know ( unlike the lovely strangers here) </p>
<p>I would just tell them that you have planned and saved for your child to go to college so she is applying to schools that are academic fits. We have friends whose parents pay so their kids didn’t have the same restrictions on looking for colleges as mine did, even though the friends themselves are not wealthy. They didn’t come out and say the cost of college was no problem, but the choice of colleges (and even high schools) tells me the grandparents were paying for education.</p>
<p>You should be proud that you’ve planned. I wouldn’t hide it or feel like you are bragging. You are buying something (an education) that you can actually afford.</p>
<p>I think you could say simply “We’ve run the numbers and we’re pretty confident that we’ll be able to afford it.” If they say something like “Oh really? I heard they hardly give any aid at all,” maybe just a shrug and a smile. Eventually the truth ought to dawn on them.</p>
<p>Though I would say that if they keep on insisting that you can’t possibly afford these schools, then they’ve already taken the conversation to a place where it wouldn’t be tacky for you to come right out and say “well, we’ve been really lucky and have been able to save enough to cover our EFC.” Everyone knows “millionaires next door” exist; they just don’t expect it to be the person they’re talking to.</p>
<p>OK --</p>
<p>You have no safeties if you write “safety’s”.</p>
<p>You do not ever make a singular noun plural by adding an apostrophe. </p>
<p>Just bcs someone says, “hello, how are you?” doesn’t mean they really care or need to know.</p>
<p>Just say, “we’re fine, thank you.”</p>
<p>I wouldn’t tell them the list of schools but assure them that you have a couple of financial safeties in there. Nosy people don’t need all their questions answered.</p>
<p>Just tell them you need to re-fill your wine glass and move on. I really don’t think you have any obligation to address your financial situation with anyone. People who ask such questions are over stepping.</p>
<p>Just tell them Harvard is your safety, wink wink.</p>
<p>HarvestMoon. That is the BEST response !!! Love it. </p>
<p>And good one Dr Google. </p>
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</p>
<p><a href=“https://sites.google.com/site/directadmitnursing/list”>https://sites.google.com/site/directadmitnursing/list</a> includes a few SUNYs (relatively low OOS costs), Truman State (even lower OOS costs), UAB (big automatic merit scholarships, and Temple (big automatic merit scholarships). Perhaps one of these may be worth a look as a low cost addition to the list.</p>
<p>Congratulations. That’s a great problem. Just tell them you’ve saved sufficiently and deflect to another topic because it really is none of their business. Smile and wave, smile and wave.</p>
<p>Smile and nod. It’s no ones business how you spend your money on college.</p>
<p>I like harvest moon’s response. We were in a similar situation and felt no obligation to disclose how we paid/are paying for our kids to attend private colleges.</p>
<p>Yup, smile and nod. It’s an obnoxious question and simply does not need to be answered. Just because someone asks a question does not mean you have to answer it. </p>
<p>Next time the question comes up, it is clearly time for a new topic of conversation - Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it? 
Said with a smile. </p>
<p>OP congrats on having saved up!
It is probably more about their financial anxiety. I think if I were in your shoes(which I only wish I was, LOL) I would turn the question around “We’re not too worried. What about you, what are your kids financial safeties?” and pretend to be interested when they start expounding on their strategy.</p>