The TRUTH Behind Boarding School

<p>Unless one has attended all schools, and been the sort to find trouble if its there to be found, there is simply no way to know how prevalent the drug problem is. </p>

<p>It is, however, not easy to be pulling acceptable grades at most HADES+ while screwing up, at least on a regular basis. No matter how smart you are. </p>

<p>On another note, ponder this - yesteryear ( well, probably the Middle Ages ) the children of nobility were often “fostered out”. Since parents ( yes, " beloved parents" ) are more apt to indulge their precious offspring, it was widely accepted that someone else might do a better job of bringing up the little darlings. Sister queen, or simply sister landowner, to …(fast forward to the 18th century),… Boarding School. This is a good thing, in retrospect.</p>

<p>Well of course they make they people in the view books happy looking. Who would want to go to a school where the people look angry and depressed in their pictures. For most schools the view book is what people see before they seriously consider applying to a school. No one would apply to a school with sad depressed kids, no matter how good their statistics were.There are bound to be amazing times and horrible times. no school, no matter how great has 100% happy times, i just matters what you make of the experience.</p>

<p>AGAIN I am sorry about the view book comment! I didn’t realize</p>

<p>ehem, I would just like to point out that in Tabor’s that they pointed out that they had very little free time which is in fact a bad thing. So not ALL viewbooks gloss over EVERYThING</p>

<p>or it could be a good thing because then you are always busy and dont have time for homesickness</p>

<p>it was under ‘what could be improved’ in their lil’ student questionnaire and most of them said something like ‘lack of free time’</p>

<p>oh then yea def. negative</p>

<p>I’m a HADES alum and I also interview for a top tier college and I tell students to stop picking schools based on name and reputation and pick them based on “fit.” One person’s heaven is someone else’s nightmare. Choose a school as if you were choosing a mate - none are perfect, but some are more likely to feel like a life partner than others.</p>

<p>Look beyond the viewbooks. Don’t judge your choices by everyone else who wants to get in to “THAT” school. Go visit, judge how students really seem on campus. Sit in on a class during revisit day or peek in on a class during a interview visit. Go on Youtube and find student videos or find independent blogs. Ask yourself if you could find friends there - people with whom you have something in common. Is there a place for you to stand out? Will you get the attention you need? Would you enjoy spending the bulk of your year there without the safety net of home</p>

<p>It’s worth visiting even if it means you have to borrow the money. This is a big decision. When I took my daughter to visit schools everyone was nice. But I was amazed at how different schools are in person than on a website or viewbook. Some schools clearly had more jovial relationships among students and faculty than others. Some went beyond the standard tour/interview to give us a glimpse at what campus life is like when you peek behind the curtain. Some schools were more arts focused, others more math or sports focused. Some teachers were universally warm and inquisitive about who we were, others seemed to keep us at an arms length. Some campuses look huge on the website but seem intimate in person. Others seem imposing and intimidating. </p>

<p>But yes - viewbooks are meant to put the school in a positive light. But you know what - for a large percentage of their students it’s accurate. They like being there despite the highs and lows. I thought my school was extremely hard, but I still looked forward to returning after every break.</p>

<p>Pick schools based on them being a match for your personality and goals, and because you could feel at “home” there. Use the same test when applying to college.</p>

<p>it’s just phony</p>

<p>haha SnapePotter</p>

<p>Alelu it would appear as though what you’ve heard is correct ;)</p>

<p>more, more, more… this is great. </p>

<p>BTW… does anyone have any intel on Hotchkiss. What were your initial reactions… I’d like to compare thoughts.</p>

<p>Thanks</p>

<p>Meh nuh likez de Hotchkiss. Es muy…no…meh no getz a good feel off of eet.</p>

<p>I am curious about drug, violence and sex problems at boarding schools but don’t know where to get info?
BTW, are situations in religious affiliated schools any better than other schools?</p>

<p>Napviet, I recommend Behind the Walls: A Parent’s Guide to Boarding Schools, by Timothy Hillman. Casualties of Privilege: Essays on Prep Schools’ Hidden Culture, by Louis Crosier, although published in 1991, is also worth reading.</p>

<p>pinknpreppy,
Ogod I hope that at least some of it isn’t totally correct ><</p>

<p>alelu: I’m not completely sure on the details, they tried to keep the whole thing really “hush hush”… but a lot my classmates have friends that go there.</p>

<p>I would recommend reading Tom Wolfe’s “I am Charlotte Simmons”. While the main character is a college freshman, most of the issues are also present at boarding school (minus the Greek life). I believe that my mom read the book “Prep” the summer before I began freshman year. This may also be worth looking at.</p>

<p>Thanks Periwinkle for the titles,
If I want to check the current things at some schools, then what internet site besides school’s site can I get these info?</p>

<p>EXMITAlmu wrote the facts well.</p>

<p>Every school has the good, bad and the ugly. Compared to private schools one thing that seem to be non-existant is gangs. Some amount of drugs and sex are going to prevail at any school. We can’t protect our kids from every thing. Even same sex schools have issues. Kids need to be exposed and grow up in a society that has good, bad and the ugly.</p>

<p>Since most kids worked hard to get into a good BS, they are likely to be driven by challenges and opportunities presented to them rather then indulge in durgs, etc. There is always about 20%-35% of rich kids who pay full tution and being sent by their parent due to tradition, or other resons.</p>

<p>Most important is to teach you kids self control, so they choose the right rgoup of friends, make the right decisons even if drugs etc. are offerred to them. </p>

<p>Some school have one strike and some have two strike policy. Knowing these is important.</p>

<p>At good BS it is less likely your kid will indulge in drugs etc. since most classmates are driven by their goals, are hard working and want to achieve something in their life.</p>

<p>Finding the right school where your kid fits in is the key. BS school gives you the opportunity to make lifelong friendships. If you don’t get along with anyone, if may be the worst place for you. Being part of the BS community, getting along and making friends and supporting each other is very important.</p>

<p>Napviet, this site is perhaps the most accessible about schools, but please always remember to use a huge lump of salt when reading something. Parents and students don’t always have the whole story when something happens. School administrators, as I understand it, can’t say anything, as discipline matters are confidential, under federal law. Any psychologists are bound by patient confidentiality, as well. So, by definition, if anyone posts on this site about any scandal, they’re either taking enormous, unwarranted professional risks, or it’s mere speculation. That speculation may be informed by experience attending boarding schools, working in boarding schools, or being the parent of a boarder. Also, many of the regular posters are middle school students, whose enthusiasm keeps things going, but they aren’t reliable sources. You can try PMing someone who’s a parent at a school, (sending a personal message), but always remember that posters are anonymous, and may not really know anything more than rumor.</p>

<p>Outside of that, you can Google the name of any schools which interest you. The school’s name, and “scandal” usually does it. That will often pull up reports in newspapers and magazines. Always pay attention to the date the original story was posted! Also, after a scandal hits the press, schools usually take steps to correct the situation. Frequently, the school sooner or later gets a new head. It’s not always his or her fault, but it seems to be expected. A new head will change many procedures and ways of doing things at a school, so, in my opinion, a school which has a huge scandal may be perfectly fine.<br>
This sounds counterintuitive, I know, but I think of it this way. The one home in a neighborhood most likely to have an alarm system, and to use it, is a home which has recently been robbed.</p>