<p>OK so now we are done with the Applications, rushing the taxes for the FASFA, the CSS profile and about a month or so until we make a final decision. Final stretch!
Some of us have been waitlisted, deferred. Many of us will be running around quite a bit in April taking that last visit to a school and attending admitted students days. How do you make you final decision? How do you pass the time until you get all awards and decisions? Its quite the journey. For parents who have never done this..they have no idea whats ahead. Good Luck to the parents of 2013/2017. Its been quite the ride.
So how do you stay calm?</p>
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<p>For me, I’m just happy this is the last kid. I hope he picks a place that he will thrive and grow. Now just 4 more years of tuition payments and it’s really over.</p>
<p>Much more stress with #2. #1 chose to go to our state flagship, so other than him going to a big school in a big city, it was fairly easy. #2 is still waiting to hear from 3 schools, all on the opposite coast, and all ones that she prefers over her safety (which we heard back from months ago).</p>
<p>The final piece to the puzzle for us is the final package of merit awards. They won’t get any financial aid. D has already committed but waiting on decisions/merit awards for S. He doesn’t need to do any more visits so that helps. Once all the $$$ is in he will know. He has a list of schools, in order, of where he wants to go. We will just check schools off the list as we go. D was hard. She had 5 schools that were all very close financially and all had their pros and cons. It’s really hard to pull the trigger on that final school. It’s also hard on the parents because it’s almost like a sense of loss turning down the schools you’ve invested so much time investigating. D picked what would have been my 5th choice for her but it’s her decision and she is happy with it.</p>
<p>My son got a yes from his top choice and it is doable, but he says he still could be wooed away by a lot of $$$ elsewhere so we’ll see. But I’m pretty relaxed now.</p>
<p>Yeah, I thought I was all decided until the money came along…it’s pulling me in a thousand different directions. The final decision is so difficult.</p>
<p>If your smart it does come down to dollars and cents. Obviously the schools applied to are all good for your program. In this day and age when a grad program is so important the undergrad seems not nearly as important. My son will be applying to grad school this year. Kinda changes you perspective on things.
My daughter who I am working on now for undergrad has some good choices but does not make it any easier until all the awards are in. April will be insane.</p>
<p>Yes! I agree - April will be the most insane month of my life. We’ll see though. Talking to friends and family has helped me figure things out so far.</p>
<p>GCmom415-S is willing to take out more in loans at his lottery school if he gets in. It’s on him and he’s run the numbers so in that case, if they ultimately work out, he will have about $50,000 in debt max if he goes there. The rest of his schools, he will have little to no debt. I think ultimately the size of that debt load will change his mind but for now, that is what he is comfortable with. I don’t know that I’m all that comfortable with that debt load for anyone though :D. He is pretty frugal and given his career choice should have no problems paying that off in under 5 years though so given that–if it means going to a school he has dreamed of attending for 15 years, a school where 90% of his wardrobe has their name on the front, his bedroom has been decorated in these school colors, etc. ok. Grad school won’t be necessary for him so that helps the UG costs.</p>
<p>The kid got into his ED school so he is pretty relaxed. I’ve got flop sweat waiting for the first bill from the bursar’s office. College basketball is a good way to kill time in March, though.</p>
<p>We thought this kid would be easier because she has many more choices than our older D. Wrong! She doesn’t know how to decide.</p>
<p>How to deal with stress? Well…eating everything in sight. Fortunately the weather has been beautiful the last few days and I’m working out in the yard. That’s helping.</p>
<p>I remember how incredibly stressful it was three years ago with older D, but never thought I’d experience it this time around. I’m so glad this is the last kid to go through this.</p>
<p>Develop a mantra. For example, if good news (yet) hasn’t been forthcoming, “Well, it’s not over till the Fat Lady Sings.” There were other times when I was (cautiously) very optimistic and didn’t want to celebrate too soon - I used “The Gambler” lyrics: “You got to know when to hold-up, know when to fold-up, know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money when you’re sitting at the table. There’ll be time enough for counting when the dealings done.” Find an appropriate mantra and replace your stressful thoughts with it instead. Ha! It’s a good time NOT to do any serious thinking.</p>
<p>I also developed a mantra, but mine was more primitive: “It’ll soon be over… it’ll soon be over… it’ll soon be over…”</p>
<p>Oddly, waiting for acceptances wasn’t so bad. It was the 3 weeks after that, waiting for awards, that killed. Our strategy for those 3 weeks was immersion; me in work, D in dance. </p>
<p>And then one fine day in late March, she called me at work with the good news about her award. I literally broke down and sobbed right there at my desk. The relief was unbelievable.</p>
<p>“So how did you stay calm?” LOL, what makes you assume we stayed calm, those of us who have been through it before? I work from a home office in the front of the house, with a clear view of the mailbox out at the street. Every afternoon, both springs that we had a senior in HS, I saw the mail carrier pull up to the box and insert the mail. But, I WOULD NOT GET THE MAIL. Sons were at school at sports practices/games until much later, dinner time, and I was often in agony wanting to know what had arrived, and from which school. But I wanted the guys to have the thrill (or not) of getting the mail themselves. When S2 got the Big Envelope from one of his top choices, the school he now attends, I was at the window watching, and thus saw his leap into the air, and paper flying everywhere as he tore open the envelope while running up the driveway. I will remember how it looked, and hearing his whoop!!! for the rest of my life :)</p>
<p>@longrangeplan…so funny…my home office is right by my window too and I stalk the mailman…I have held the envelopes up to the sun to read whats inside Ha! But I cant WAIT until this is over…We still have 2 schools RD…waiting. I have one true financial safety and she is on 1 waitlist and 2 deferred. But a bunch of acceptances with no awards…still waiting…I know it will all come together.
I think when I panic…I just say “Everything happens for a reason” “She will be happy whatever she ends up”. Then
I breathe…</p>
<p>Thank goodness I am at work when the mail comes. Each day on my railroad commute home I wait for the text message. No college mail today…or guess what Mom!!! It’s both exciting and nerve wracking. My D has gotten into all her safeties and target schools so that has relieved alot of the pressure. Now we wait on the reach schools and the packages. As its been said above, things happen for a reason and they end up where they should be. Etc. good luck to all!!</p>
<p>Haha when I was waiting for my Georgetown letter I would sit staring at the mailbox too! The day it came the mail was 4 HOURS late. I was so nervous! 2 hours after out normal mail time, I actually drove around looking for the mailman! It was crazy, and had I found him he probably wouldn’t have given the letter to me anyway!</p>
<p>GCmom415 – the merit awards mostly came weeks after the acceptance packets. So don’t give up yet. Our S2 got a modest award with the acceptance from the school he eventually chose. But while he was waiting for all the RDs to come in (about 6 weeks after the EA acceptance with the merit award), additional merit trickled in from the school that had already given him the merit award. This was in the form of major-specific scholarships from the program to which he applied. I always wondered – if S had immediately clicked “accept” on the EA web portal, would the additional $$ have still been offered? Or was it only sent because the school thought they needed to throw something else at him to secure him? We’ll never know. But it’s an interesting thing to consider.</p>
<p>We got all of their automatic merit awards either with their acceptance letters or shortly after, but a note in the acceptance letter saying they would be coming soon. Still waiting on the competitive scholarships, a couple full-tuition ones and a couple band audition ones. They were all supposed to be out in 'early March" so we are stalking the mail lady :D.</p>
<p>S2 has narrowed it down to 4 instate public schools so finance wise we’re okay. He’s been accepted to 3 of those so far, still to hear from the 4th which will be a reach. Of course that’s his first choice. We went to one accepted student day yesterday and have another one to go to on the 23rd.</p>