<p>She has applied to one other in state school, and needs to complete her application for another.</p>
<p>Auburn is her first choice for many reasons. It is just far enough away from home, but close enough as well. She likes the degree plans, class size, and student body size. She loves the atmosphere and the athletics (even though the football team is struggling at the moment). She just really doesn’t want to go anywhere else. I get that.</p>
<p>I do hope she gets in to AU, but in the mean time, you need to help her take the focus off Auburn and guide her towards other schools she could be happy attending. If she doesn’t get in, she will be disappointed, but it is not the end of the world. Use the time between now and the AU decision to find other schools that she would be happy to attend. Good luck, I hope she gets in!</p>
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<p>Of course you can handle it. As have many of us here on CC when our kids are disappointed. When our kids are suffering, I think that’s when many of us actually shine, contrary to how we think we would handle it. </p>
<p>As to waiting, many kids must wait until April or May to find out, so you are fortunate that your daughter’s first choice is a rolling admissions school. You may well find out months and months in advance of many of her peers. And I agree with a post above, her chances of being accepted at Auburn are probably quite good. Nevertheless, no matter if this is the “only” school she wants to go to, it would be pretty risky to not find some other safeties that she could be happy with. There is nothing to be lost by applying to a few of those-she can always say no later when she accepts her spot at Auburn.</p>
<p>Things will work out just fine for her-even more likely if she doesn’t put all her eggs in one basket. Good luck.</p>
<p>D1 did not find out if she got into her number one choice until MAY. I do admit that having D2’s college acceptance in hand by October was far less stressful, but nevertheless, I would not change a thing about D1’s experience.</p>
<p>OP–I think you are encouraging your D to be fixated on this one school. Not sure this is a great idea for any student.</p>
<p>I have actually tried to encourage her to broaden her scope in finding a school. I have suggested many other schools, but “they aren’t Auburn.” I struggle with “making” her apply to a multitude of schools that she has no interest in attending.</p>
<p>It does sound like you are in agreement with your daughter that it would be crushing not to be admitted. Even if she DOES get in, this isn’t a great outlook.</p>
<p>It seems to me that it is part of your job as a parent to ask her what she will do if she does not get into Auburn. If she is lukewarm on the other two schools on her list, maybe it is time to ask her to review Fiske and pick out a couple more schools. Letting her (and maybe encouraging her) to get into this mode of “only one school will do” when there are thousands of colleges in the US is risky.</p>
<p>Also… if she is set on cheerleading at Auburn, I am pretty sure that is super competitive as well. You really need to help her prepare for a possible disappointment in that as well (great for her if it works out, of course). One of the jobs of the adults in a kid’s life is to help them make plans and have dreams, but also to make sure they have realistic backup plans as well. So if she does get into Auburn, you will want to discuss getting involved in a couple of different campus organizations when she gets there in addition to cheerleading, in case that does not work out and she is left with no other extracurricular plans.</p>
<p>My son was rejected from his top choice school that he had wanted to go to since middle school. It was agonizing last spring waiting, because he was on CC all the time, and there were all these other students all over the country getting acceptance or rejection letters (it was by snail mail). I am kind-of glad he didn’t end up there. He went somewhere that is probably a better match for him and probably a slightly better school (though they are very closely ranked). And it is slightly closer to home, at least as far as time zones go. It all worked out great in the end. He settled in immediately. I haven’t asked him, but I bet if given the option, he would not want transfer to his “first love”.</p>
<p>So there was a little sadness for a few weeks, and I did get sad as well, but if your daughter has options, it somehow works out. And I am not saying this because I think her chances are poor. I don’t know anything about Auburn other than that they are not having a great football season this year. Hopefully she gets in and the team makes a big turnaround for next year!</p>
<p>When my daughter was applying to schools, I told her that if she wasn’t disappointed by at least one rejection, she wasn’t reaching enough. I also tell both of my kids if they aren’t disappointed once or twice a month, they really aren’t trying hard enough.</p>
<p>Good luck. Make her apply to a school that’s even harder to get into than Auburn, as well as some safeties. Broaden her horizons and yours. If she isn’t rejected by at least one school, she didn’t reach enough. YMMV</p>
<p>Has she toured some other schools? If she loves Auburn, what about UGA for example?</p>
<p>I echo the other parents in urging you to teach an important lesson: There is no ONE anything–college, job, boyfriend! There will be disappointments in life (and believe me, and I speak for all posters, we hope your d gets into Auburn!) and therefore, she should prepare for a Plan B if it’s needed. Sometimes, the alternate plan ends up being amazing.</p>
<p>I have never let my daughter think that I would be crushed if she didn’t get in. My feelings expressed here have only been expressed here and to my husband.</p>
<p>She is very aware that cheerleading is super competitive at AU, and has many other activities there that she is looking forward to when and if she gets accepted.</p>
<p>She needs to stay in-state for GI Bill deferment reasons.</p>
<p>As much as I would like to sway her, she is very headstrong. Kind of like her mother.</p>
<p>My kid is one of those who could not attend her first choice school. She was accepted, but did not get enough financial aid. She was heartbroken for awhile, then fell in love with the school she “had” to attend for financial reasons, and couldn’t be more happy.</p>
<p>Perhaps the little heartbreaks she had over the years (never getting that My Size Barbie and some other things she begged for) paved the way for her learning to deal with disappointment.</p>
<p>I agree with the person above who said that it’s never good to be so deadset on any one thing that it causes so much obsession. Life will go on if Auburn rejects her.</p>
<p>Again, thank you all so much for your responses. Each one has been extremely helpful. I will update when we hear something.</p>
<p>The waiting is stressful on everyone, that’s for sure!</p>
<p>You have received lots of good responses, but I just wanted to comment about your statement that "I just don’t think I could handle seeing her heartbroken if she doesn’t get in hence my stress level. "</p>
<p>It is hard to see our kids be heartbroken about anything. I really hated seeing my son experience his first real romantic breakup. It broke my heart too.</p>
<p>In fact, sometimes the best lessons in life come through heartbreak. So, my advice, is not to fear the heartbreak, but be ready to guide her through it, whenever or however it comes.</p>
<p>I think anytime a family has an affiliation through legacy, state flagship, favorite sports team, it can add a great deal of idolization on the part of a student from a young age that “this is the only school for me”. They grow up in university attire, going to games, they feel a belonging. It is a tremendous amount of pressure on students as they reach college age. I see it in my home state where we are no stranger to it either so please understand, we are not the SEC but I get where you are coming from.</p>
<p>Having said that, it is our job as parents to help our kids manage expectations and keep the hype at the lowest level possible. Nip the fires at every possible turn. It is your job to help her see that there are other schools that she can and would succeed at AND be happy at, and I believe you need to convince yourself of this as well. The easiest way for her to visualize herself at another school is going to be to actually put her feet on the campus. Make it fun. Take tours, eat lunch, talk to students. You say she doesn’t want to…as her parent it’s your job to make it happen. My son wanted to apply to two schools. I insisted on the third as he needed one with guaranteed merit that had his major. He was not very warm on the idea. By spring he no longer referred to the third as a ‘safety’ and honestly said he would have been happy to go there. When your students top choice(s) are not a shoe-in for them it’s your job to keep your own emotions out of it and to help them find a ‘safety’ they will be happy attending.</p>
<p>Some kids are too stubborn to make them visit schools they don’t want to. My S saw one school, it had his ideal program, and that was it. I did insist he also apply to one rolling admit school, and he had one other application in if ED to his #1 didn’t work out. But there was NO way he would visit those other schools. If you can make your child do things he doesn’t want to, great, but I can’t!</p>
<p>Wareagle, waiting is stressful, so vent away here. I find physical activity helps with the stress. I have been raking leaves this week to take my mind off things.</p>
<p>My toddler helps keep my mind off of it a bit. I also have a sophomore who is dead set on FSU. So, needless to say, life is always stressful…especially since they are all girls. Keep the advice coming. It keeps me occupied!</p>
<p>OP - I feel your pain! DS1 didn’t get into his #1 but it ends up he got into the right school for him. He’s doing fantastic and is very happy. But now it’s time for DS2. He’s applied ED to his #1 but also has 5 other EA’s out there as well as an RD. Definitely a lot of target schools he’ll definitely get into as well as DS1’s school - although he says that’s his last choice. I know he’ll end up at the school that’s right for him but the waiting is very difficult. One minute I’m totally confident he’ll get in and the next I don’t think he will. Totally silly as MyLB pointed out - the apps are out there and there’s nothing we can do now but that doesn’t make me relax any more!</p>
<p>wareagle, mostly helpful supportive people here, plus a few trolls. It is best to not even reply to the trolls; it only encourages them.</p>