<p>In some societies, young people live with their parents until they marry (sometimes until they have their first child). In Japan, married men live in their offices, or so I've heard. :)</p>
<p>yeah I am class of 08. I was pretty sure that I was going to go to graduate school, but then with all of my friends applying to finance/consulting job I thought about the money and wanted to keep my options open. So I applied to a couple of firms and ended up with an offer at a big 3 consulting company in NYC. I also applied to graduate school, and after thinking about it decided that I would rather get my Ph.D. and that I could always go into consulting afterwards. The consulting firm was very nice about it, btw, and I would definitely think about working for them in 5 years-ish. </p>
<p>My only advice would be to support all of the options-- my parents were surprised when I started talking about consulting, but were very supportive. They also didn't push me to choose the big money, and I am going to a school where my stipend is significantly less than if I chose one of my other (very good) options for graduate school. I also appreciated the fact that my parents have enough resources for me to be able to decide against making ridiculous sums of money. The start-up costs are relatively high if you are not working a job where they give you bonuses to sign-- I just signed a lease on a boston apartment and had to pay 3.5 months rent. </p>
<p>If she's interested in doing something for a couple of years, the princeton-in programs are very good. You don't make very much money, but it gives you a chance to explore another part of the world, and it's structured so that you don't have to go out and find a job. I think that in ways its useful to start thinking about it early- as by second semester senior year you have your thesis to finish. By the time your thesis is done, you are very very close to the end of the year. I was really happy to have options as early as December of my senior year, and to have decided what I wanted to do by March.</p>
<p>Ok, so S didn't dare ask for "our" plan. He came up with his own. He graduated on May 11 with a great gpa from a great school. He had many choices.</p>
<p>He decided to put on hold graduate school. He decided to put on hold a great job offer. He decided to put on hold the lavish lifestyle. Instead, HE felt compelled to serve his country. My first reaction was exactly why he didn't ask for my opinion........:o</p>
<p>He leaves on June 1 for Leadership training near Seattle for 33 days. He hasn't even come home from NC yet. He just called today. He might drive home and leave some of his belongings home next week, and then fly out.... :(</p>
<p>He's excited. I'm a wreck. I have to remind myself that it is his life starting now....darn.</p>
<p>He will be commissioned as an officer on July 4th. How weird is that?</p>
<p>Barrons--do you even have children? Not everything is cut and dry or black and white. Some kids are ready to be independent at 18/22, some not. Not everyone is cut from the same cookie cutter. If you were out and on your own by 18, well goody for you. Not everyone is ready. And not all parents are coddling their children if they still live at home by say age 22. Some of these "kids" are working, paying their way, but chose to stay at home for a variety of reasons. Doesn't mean they are not independent. Some areas of the country are terribly expensive and it sometimes pays to live at home while saving up for "independence". We're not all you.</p>
<p>1sokkermom - my thoughts are with you and your son for his choice.</p>
<p>Thanks Alumother.</p>
<p>H & I were a bit upset at first. However, after seeing him at graduation, we are very proud of the man he has become. His choice would not be our path, but it will be his. We can't offer any advice at this point. I guess we can only offer our support and love. His future will be his adventure, and we will continue to cheer him on forever........</p>
<p>Part of learning independence is finding an area you can both find work and afford to live. Also I did say 22, not 18 and that there could be exceptions. Anyway one of my UW sports boards had a long discussion of this too--must be a hot topic at grad time. Many different viewpoints (and a few PG-13 words)</p>
<p><a href="http://buckyville.yuku.com/topic/7103%5B/url%5D">http://buckyville.yuku.com/topic/7103</a></p>
<p>And BTW my D has never voiced an inkling of a desire to come home. Her thoughts are more along the line of USA or elsewhere, and if USA, which coast....</p>
<p>I just tell her when she has kids she will really like me a lot.</p>
<p>In his senior year my son stressed a lot about what would become of him after leaving the protected nest of college. He decided not to apply to graduate school so that was out. We live in another part of the world so hanging out in his childhood bedroom was impractical. His close friends all had destinations. He was worried.</p>
<p>As it turned out around spring break time he answered an ad posted on his college's career center website, interviewed (the day after a 30 hour plane trip!) and was hired. He graduated and went to work.</p>
<p>There was no Plan B, but Plan A worked out wonderfully. Then the next wave challenges arose and were overcome – finding an apartment, getting used to a roommate, coping with WORK, paying taxes, exploring the city, socializing as a free agent, finding a dry cleaner, getting a mattress delivered to a fifth floor walk up. </p>
<p>I think the biggest adjustment was the cast adrift feeling after 17 years of having school as an anchor and school-mates as a ready-made social group. The Real World is so beautiful, so various, so new, but can also be disorienting and lonely. Work relationships can be warm, friendly and mentoring but they are not the same as the teacher-student dynamic. It takes a while to settle in, physically and emotionally. </p>
<p>Many of my son’s friends chose transitional arrangements for their first stop out in the world, like the Peace Corp, Teach for America or foreign teaching assignments. Others, like him, chose entry level work in their intended fields with the intention of returning for advanced degrees or professional degrees. Very few went directly to graduate school. </p>
<p>So in a way, the few years after college, are treated like a post-graduate gap year, a refresher before yet more college. Recents graduates are like surfers waiting for the next wave.</p>
<p>S1, who is just finishing his second year of college, loves to sit around and chat about his future plans (i.e. brainstorming sessions). We usually follow a chess board approach, helping him think 10+ moves ahead along a variety of paths, understanding that every day/move adds a new input and the opportunity to rethink the game. </p>
<p>We have always assumed that both kids will need to go to graduate school of some kind, regardless of their undergraduate degree or ultimate career choice. Because we take grad school as a given, both kids do as well, so the undergraduate experience has never been the end game (or time of final launch). If the choice is an MBA, which is the direction S1 expects to take, then he should expect to work 2-3 years between undergrad and grad school since most good programs today don't want kids directly out of an undergraduate program. We lump that 3 year work hiatus into the "school" equation so don't see them launching a career for about 9 years after graduation from high school. </p>
<p>In terms of financial support, we expect him to be self-supporting during the work period, but we would be happy to pay for an MBA program if he isn't working for a company that picks up that cost. Right now he plans to get an undergraduate degree in systems engineering and then work in South America before going to grad school. He spent last summer in Peru perfecting his Spanish and leaves this week for a summer in Brazil to learn Portuguese. He also expects to spend next summer and the fall of his senior year in Brazil through a school semester abroad program. I am confident he will be able to find work somewhere in South America with this background. </p>
<p>On the other hand, he could change his mind tomorrow and go off in some different direction. He obviously isn't married to the idea of a career in engineering at the momenet but remains open to the idea that he might like it. An older brother of one of his friends who graduated with a systems engineering degree from UVA last year (and did the Brazil program as well) is working as a consultant now and considering going back to school to get a degree in architecture. The possibilities are certainly endless.</p>
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<p>amen to that sentiment. I have to keep reminding myself of who I was and how I felt when I was 18-22 years old. </p>
<p>I am confident that someday (hopefully I live this long) my son will say "I get it. I understand where you were coming from. You were not 'out to get me' but actually had my best interests in mind"</p>
<p>My S is just finished his freshman year and is spending his summer working & living in NYC (he goes to NYU)</p>
</i>