The Worry Thread (Parents Only Please; Kids can Worry on the Chances Forum)

<p>I worry that my child will change so much that we will have little in common, grow apart, and have nothing to talk about. </p>

<p>It seems that with every vacation, I meet a different person. Even during a single vacation, I get very confused. Beginning of vacation, suave sophisticate; middle of vacation, grumpy snark; end of vacation, loving child. This is just over the course of a week! I am learning to ride it out but Whew!</p>

<p>I don’t think it was like this day to day when she was home.</p>

<p>Thanks, Neato, just what was called for. The squirrel on the live webcam is the whole point!</p>

<p>My daughter and I have a very close relationship. She’s a good kid. I worry how she will change, will we be as close. I want this opportunity for her and I dread losing her at the same time.</p>

<p>I worry about her thriving in a challenging environment. She’s been an underachiever in-spite of her very high IQ and SSAT scores. One of two things will happen: she’ll actually push herself to study or will she get kicked out of school for lack of effort. I hope that being around other kids as bright as she is will inspire her to work.</p>

<p>There’s this great moment in Parenthood when Frank Buckman (the grandfather played by Jason Robards) visits his son, Gil (played by Steve Martin) at a Little League practice. At the end of the conversation between the two, Gil lets loose a stream of worries and self-doubts that permeate his life. Frank looks at his son, Gil, playfully slaps him on the cheek, and says “You worry too much.” And you know what, most of the time, I agree, we worry too much, especially about the little stuff. Things will generally work out the way they’re meant to and worrying is mostly a waste of energy.</p>

<p>“There ain’t no use putting up your umbrella till it rains”!</p>

<p>I like this quote,
“Worrying is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.”</p>

<p>Since we have nothing to do and nowhere to go, we can rock on.</p>

<p>That about sums it up for me: sitting in my rocking chair, in the rain, sunstroke already having occurred the previous day.</p>

<p>I have a terrifying new worry: Adderall abuse. I read an article yesterday about a young man who became addicted to it and ended up committing suicide. It said that kids trade it like candy because it helps them focus and concentrate. I think if my DC learned about that, she’d be vulnerable because she does have trouble concentrating sometimes, and would want help powering through the end after she’d procrastinated too long.</p>

<p>My absolute biggest worry is that my very smart kid who loses every piece of paper she touches, will flunk out because she can’t keep track of her work. Even though she is as smart and capable as any other student. So frustrating to watch. Her confidence level would be shattered if she were asked to leave…</p>

<p>My fear that I have been working through is that my very private child will not have enough personal space or time to decompress. I can imagine this causing built up stress.</p>

<p>A somewhat related worry is that she will not find the comfort level to ever be 100% herself and let her guard down.</p>

<p>But, I realize how much she is really excited about being around other kids she relates to and has similar interests and goals so its probably an founded fear. </p>

<p>But, that doesnt stop the worry…</p>

<p>London, get your kid a smartphone or ipod type device and install an app called camscanner. You can use the camera to take photos of papers and the app will resize and convert to pdf, which can easily be printed. I use it to keep track of receipts and other pieces of paper. It is a life saver for those of us who tend to be less than ideally organized.</p>

<p>Neato: awesome idea. Have already hot her the iPad app for Cornell notetaking system and this will complement that nicely! Hadn’t heard of it but I like it…</p>

<p>Jahphoto, it’s epidemic on college campuses. Enter the name of virtually any university and Adderall into google and look what comes back. Loomis’ school paper, the LOG, did a very incisive 3-part series on the topic last year. Worth educating yourself about, and talking with your kids about.</p>

<p>I am full of worry right now, unfortunately. My biggest concern is that if my child should get into this school, she won’t be awarded enough financial aid to make it possible for her to even go.</p>

<p>Ah justayo, I have a similar worry - although I know we qualify for financial aid, I’m a tad worried that the tuition amount I put down that we can afford on the PFS is more than we can actually afford. We were talking to my inlaws about boarding school the other day and I was reassuring them we would see my son for holidays and school breaks - they said, well who pays for all that travel? And I thought, yeah I had calculated it and those plane flights will add up but we can handle it. But then I thought, wait, can we? (We’re on the west coast.) I just figured I’d put the plane tickets on a credit card. But what if it gets to be so much my cards are maxed out? That’s my latest worry - but l will say luckily it doesn’t keep me up at night! I just wonder if I should have been more clear about what we can afford in the way of additional expenses beyond tuition? Ah well, just a month more to go until we get word. I have a feeling the time will seem to go by very slowly and then all of a sudden it will be March 9.</p>

<p>My worries have shifted to wondering if she’ll even get in. She is not as strong a candidate as I hear others are on this board.</p>

<p>@taurusmom: There’s a thread somewhere about how much families’ should budget for expenses beyond tuition/room&board. Stuff like travel and clothes. Maybe someone will find it and bump it for you.</p>

<p>@justayo: While I’m hoping that ALL kids find a place this year (and every year), it is my opinion that many kids/parents underestimate just how hard it is to get into BS…especially the most selective schools. I think being VERY honest about what your kid brings to each school is important…besides why each school is right for your kid, consider “why” a school will want to make them part of the student body — with the right amount of financial aid to boot!</p>

<p>I am waiting for March 10th… just like everyone else. I am nervous and scared about the day. My DD has both pluses and minuses and I don’t have a crystal ball.</p>

<p>I am nervous and she is calm. (Nothing has changed… I’ve always been the nervous one and she’s always been the pragmatic, even tempered, calm one.)</p>

<p>@justayo - don’t go by the student stats posted on the boards. There’s no way to verify. And trust me - schools aren’t looking for high scoring “widgets” to stick in a slot - they really try hard to look at the whole student and how they’d add to the campus culture. Students with lower stats than what is advertised on CC have found spots and students with perfect stats have been turned down.</p>

<p>Just depends on the school, the student, and the candidate pool that year. There is still hope!</p>

<p>I dreamed last night that Choate posted their admissions decisions but I couldn’t get into the website!
My daughter seems to have put all this out of her mind for now. (She also learned that every freshman at the local public HS gets ipads next year, so that softens the blow if she has to go there!)</p>