<p>Has anybody used free professional educational coordinate organization called " Answers For Parents"?</p>
<p>I have a 9th grade son, who could not attend the school after 2 weeks the school started and transferred him to public online school but he still does not get motivated.</p>
<p>He had the same problem in 8th grade and we took him to a teen psychologist for about 3months and it seemed working for him and he started 9th grade smoothly, very organized and kept good grades.
But now he sleeps most of the times and seems depressed.</p>
<p>My husband and I have looked for some alternate options and now considering a therapeutic boarding school for him.</p>
<p>I have found past forums about those schools but not that much current information.
I am living in CA so I prefer finding the schools in the West but consider the schools in other areas too.</p>
<p>I will appreciate some information and advices about either therapeutic boarding schools or reviews of "Answers For Parents" organization.</p>
<p>I’ve never heard of that company. We had to suck it up and hire an independent education consultant to find a placement for our son. A lot of the better therapeutic boarding schools absolutely require a consultant as well as a stay in either a residential treatment center or a wilderness therapy camp before they will enroll a student? It is expensive but it was our sons life we are saving. There are several schools in Montana, Utah and Arizona so you should have options. The consultants know the good schools and based on your child’s situation can recommend the best fit. Good luck-my heart goes out to you.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this helps but my cousin, who was a great guy, went to one of the Hyde School campuses when he got into a little bit of trouble. I don’t know if this is your situation. He’s doing great now.</p>
<p>He went to the campus in Maine. I guess it’s really intense but they are used to dealing with stuff and for my cousin he says it pretty much helped him get out of a bunch of bad living. He went to a decent college and I heard there was even some scholarship because he had turned it around.</p>
<p>I would recommend Lon Woodbury as an Educational Consultant. He has a website (strugglingteens.com) He is in Idaho, and has good familiarity with programs all over the country. Do NOT rely on an online consultant. A lot of those are plugged into some really bad programs- and there are a LOT of bad programs out there. You will do much better with your own EC. I am also not a fan of Hyde- it does work for some families, but there are a lot of bad stories, too. My co-worker recently parted ways with Hyde 3 weeks before her son was to graduate.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for all of your thoughtful replies. </p>
<p>The reason I consider " Answers For Parents" is my husband got a referral an educational consultant by his boss who had gone through the same experience, but for consultation costs $5000 and we had to pay the half up front.
At the same time " Answers For Parents" “Free"professional services” sound too good to be true.</p>
<p>We never used an independent educational consultant so I am not sure this is appropriate fee, but we do not mind paying if it is worth it.
We know those schools are expensive but as momindistress said that is my son’s life and my husband and I would like to ease his pain and to get him out of struggling.</p>
<p>I will check Lon Woodbury’s site and contact him today.
I hope I will be able to find a school fit for him soon.</p>
<p>I still appreciate more advice, information and experience with Therapeutic Boarding School.</p>
<p>Is your child still in therapy? On medicine?</p>
<p>Therapy for three months probably isn’t sufficient and there are many who believe that medicine combined with therapy is the best path.</p>
<p>Sometimes things like depression and anxiety are acute – they are situational and go away with treatment, but often they are chronic and the treatment needs to be continuous. </p>
<p>If you have discontinued therapy, you might consider resuming it and having your son see a good psychiatrist as well. Speaking from personal experience, this has made a world of difference for many kids.</p>
<p>Be careful with these therapeutic schools. In my business, I encountered young women who had been to these places. </p>
<p>They used to be unregulated. They are more closely regulated now, but can still be unsafe. </p>
<p>If you do choose to go this route:</p>
<ol>
<li>Make sure the academics are accredited</li>
<li>Make sure there are licensed and educated therapists. </li>
<li>Under no circumstances allow your child to attend a program in another country</li>
<li>Make sure you have exhausted all avenues close to home. </li>
<li>Make sure, in spite of what they tell you about making the kid think they can’t come home, that you have a code word to bring the kid home if he feels unsafe.<br></li>
</ol>
<p>There are a few programs that are good. There are also quite a few that are not. </p>
<p>I’d recommend, also, that you work with a local psychiatrist to decide the best route for your child. Educational consultants can be helpful, but make sure the school will talk also to your local psychiatrist if you start to question what is going on. </p>
<p>I am so sorry to hear of your situation. Those of us who have walked those roads with our children understand how your heart is being ripped out. </p>
<p>It’s a big decision to send your child to a therapeutic boarding school, and often a life-saving and necessary one. It is often especially necessary if substance abuse is involved.</p>
<p>However, I wonder if three months of therapy a year ago is a sufficient trial at home. You don’t mention medication, and you don’t mention alcohol/drug usage. </p>
<p>I agree with lastminutemom that an appointment with a psychiatrist and a medication trial may be very helpful. </p>
<p>Both of my children hit very rough patches, and we wound up taking both of them in to be evaluated by a neuropsychologist. With one son, the evaluation didn’t change the diagnosis or medication but helped us understand some behaviors and ultimately improved our relationship. With the other, we completely reformulated the diagnosis and he was placed on appropriate medication. Though we had discussed sending one of them to a residential treatment center, we wound up not having to take that route (primarily, I think, because thankfully he had not turned to substances.) Both are now doing well. </p>
<p>The expense of the evaluation (approximately $3000 each) was worth it, and considerably less than the price of boarding school. I wonder if this may be helpful in your case.</p>
<p>lastminutemom, poet girl, pootie and Cala 1,</p>
<p>Thank you for your replies ( and hugs too. Big hugs you back to Cala1).</p>
<p>My son doesn’t have substance abuse. He has seen a psychologist for 3month this year ( Apr. to Jun. ) and never been on medication.
He is not violent or verbally abusive, if we do not bring up about the school, we can communicate easily.
He is a bright boy but does not have motivation and good self esteem and now seems to be depressed.</p>
<p>I would like to seek a psychiartrist 1st and get the advice and recommendation before consulting to choose a school but my husband is really frustrated and seems to want to get a "quick fix"since he is concerned about our son’s academic delay so much.</p>
<p>I know how much my husband is frustrated ( I am too ) but we needed to be cooled down and take more time to decide what to do.
We got some school info and checking them now.</p>
<p>Have you ever heard Midwest Academy (IW), Scotts Valley School (OR ) or Storm Ridge Ranch (UT)? </p>
<p>While I am checking those schools’ info, I look for a teen psychiatrist too.</p>
<p>In my opinion, you are not ready to make a decision about therapeutic boarding school. It would seem to be the logical first choice is to have a therapist and a psychiatrist. The therapist for talk therapy and the psych for meds. (If you can find a psych who does therapy that might work as well, around here that is hard to do.)</p>
<p>Calla1 gave great advice about neuropsych eval. You can ask your pediatrician for recommendations.</p>
<p>One thing with therapy is that it is important to keep going, at least for a while, once the rough patch is over. The skills needed to manage issues need to be well established before therapy ends.</p>
<p>I had wondered if concerns about academics were driving some of this (I clicked and saw posts that I guess were about an older sibling.) It is important to try and separate the concerns about your child’s mental health issues with the school ones. I would recommend family therapy or at least therapy for you and your husband.</p>
This sounds like a terrible reason to choose a therapeutic boarding school. Your son is not in a race. His health is monumentally more important than losing a year or two of academics.</p>
<p>I imagine the reason why Answers for Parents is free is that it is paid by the institutions it represents–which means it will only consider those institutions when making a recommendation, even if none is ideal. Truly a “you get what you pay for” situation.</p>
<p>Whatever route you take, be very, very careful in choosing a school, and NEVER select one out of the country (I second the above poster).</p>
<p>Obviously there are “two sides to every story,” especially when it’s dealing with kids in crises, but there has been a lot of investigative work done lately highlighting the really poor treatment (including verbal, mental, physical, and sexual abuse) that some of these “schools” provide.</p>
<p>I’m not sure the op’s son needs a therapeutic boarding school, but there are excellent programs. There are also terrible ones, and I am well aware of the horror stories and all the bad press aimed at the teen help industry. </p>
<p>There are also regular boarding schools and day schools that offer a high level of support and structure that might be appropriate.</p>
<p>From your post, it is really not clear what the problem is. Perhaps you aren’t sure. Does this son have learning challenges/disabilities? ADHD? Is depression the main problem? Disorganization? Are there other reasons for the lack of motivation besides mood? Has a physical evaluation been done for fatigue, thyroid, adrenal function, Lyme?</p>
<p>If this child was seeing a psychologist, it is a little mystifying why no medications were suggested (a psychologist cannot prescribe, but often they work with psychiatrists). I think a psychiatrist would be a priority, at the moment. Sometimes academic hospitals have studies going on that offer free care and meds, but if cost is not a factor, do some research and get the best one you can. If you want a male provider, sometimes insurance will cover an out of network male psychiatrist for a young male patient, if you look into that.</p>
<p>If your son’s lack of motivation is a mystery, a full neuropsych. evaluation would be really helpful, despite the cost. Sometimes you can get insurance to cover it. The public school can do an evaluation and if you do not agree with the results, you may be able to get the school to pay for a private one.</p>
<p>I think that you may not be anywhere near ready for the kind of quick fix your husband wants. You need a lot more information and need to use professionals for that information-gathering. Have one central person, most likely a psychiatrist but possibly a neuro-psychologist, or even primary care if he or she is excellent, to coordinate and help you.</p>
<p>Wait a minute. Are you talking about sending your ACT=36 and tippy top GPA son to a Therapeutic boarding school? </p>
<p>If you’re talking about a younger son, perhaps you and your husband are comparing one son against another and your son is feeling the stress. Remind yourself that your children are human beings and are not some sort of computerized robot that you can program to suit your idea of perfection. </p>
<p>Each child is an individual and should be valued as such. Perhaps the problem is not with your child, but with the expectations put on him.</p>
<p>Don’t go the public school evaluation route. They are overworked, underpaid, and motivated to NOT identify problems because identified problems = more kids in the system and more work for them. Also, they are evaluating from a perspective of “does it meet the threshold criteria for services?”, vs. identifying whether there is in fact a problem.</p>
<p>OP- I know kids who have been “saved” by these programs, and kids whose lives have been a series of setbacks and disappointments.</p>
<p>But I don’t know anyone who has sent their kid to a program like this without a full physical and psych work-up, and at least MONTHS of therapy and meds. </p>
<p>You look at the kid in bed and his lack of motivation and think, “Someone needs to give him structure, discipline, and a good (but loving) kick in the pants”. Well- maybe.</p>
<p>But what if it’s a physical problem that an endocrinologist can “fix”, or depression which did not respond to the very brief treatment, or an infection or an auto-immune disorder? Structure and discipline isn’t going to kick his thyroid into shape.</p>
<p>Your H needs to cool his jets. I realize it’s frustrating watching a high potential kid “fall behind”. But I know parents who have spent the entire college fund, taken out a second mortgage, and spent down their IRA and 401K on programs of this nature, only to have the kid (now an adult, in the eyes of the law) return home with serious psychiatric and behavioral issues, having been in environments designed for kids with criminal records and substance issues.</p>
<p>Your son needs a full physical work-up, and a complete assessment by a mental health professional who specializes in adolescents. You can ship him off to Montana or Utah after you’ve figured out what’s wrong.</p>
<p>Calla, the point of suggesting the public school route was to get them to pay for a private evaluation (assuming the parents will disagree with the results). In my state anyway, that is how it works. The school will pay for the additional private evaluation if requested within a year (as I remember) of their own.</p>
<p>That said, there are ways to use public school resources, and to get services/accommodations in order to help a kid succeed. I also speak from long experience. In fact, I once did a one person sit-in our school office- long story and I don’t recommend it, but the public school failings can be addressed in a variety of ways for a particular child.</p>
<p>It sounds like, in this case, the husband, at least, would rather tie the box up with a bow and send the problem off to someone else to take care of, so to speak.</p>