<p>I'm new to posting stuff on forums, so i barely know my way around here...</p>
<p>Anyways, i'm a second year at college right now. Freshman year was pretty fun, with meeting lots and lots of new people and trying new things, parties, girls, etc. but as my 1st year starting coming to a close i realized that i didn't really know who my close friends were. i wasn't sure which group of friends i "clicked" with. i told myself things would probably get better during sophomore year. </p>
<p>now that its 2nd year, a couple groups of friends that i thought i was good friends with now have their own apartments. i have one too, but just with....acquaintances, for lack of a better word.</p>
<p>this is a really hard feeling to explain, i don't know who i'm close to and who i'm not. i still don't really know who my true group of friends is. i've never been a socially awkward person but this unhappiness is killing me. i'm thinking of possibly transferring schools, what do all you guys think?</p>
<p>What school do you go to now? A friend of mine transferred from UCLA to San Jose State because she was under similar circumstances and she regrets it. Have you tried joining clubs? Rushing a frat? Joining up with intramural sports teams? College is what you make of it, so I’m not sure the problems you’re having will be solved simply by going somewhere else.</p>
<p>I hate to break it to you. . .but you are going to need to learn to be on your own now that you are an adult. Sure it is tough, but you need to strike out on your own and learn to be content with living on your own. Friends are nice but would you really want to desert your college because your friends have their own apartments?? I don’t want to be harsh but as you grow older you will gradually learn to appreciate your privacy and independence. </p>
<p>Friends come and go and I don’t want to sound harsh when I say learn to be content with yourself, without your friends. Are you going to let them control how you feel about yourself? I wish you luck as you adjust to your new surroundings. I’m sure it will work out in the end.</p>
<p>yeah i know that college is what u make of it. to be honest this was the LAST thing i ever expected to happen. i have a joined clubs and made a couple friends here or there, and i do play IM sports with some of the ppl i know from last year. as for rushing frats, i don’t think that is my thing. </p>
<p>i go to UCSC, and why did your friend regret her decision?</p>
<p>thanks for understanding. i have no problem with being alone once in a while and i don’t let my friends control what i think of myself. its just that i don’t really know who i am close to and some of the people that i already do hang out with are very cliquey… its very hard to explain but i am trying my best to express what’s on my mind right now</p>
<p>@Kebobs: I’ve been to UCSC (a cousin of mine went there) and I can assure you that it’s easier to have fun there than it is at a lot of other UCs. I’ve spent time at UCLA (a lot) UCSD (a lot) UCI (a lot) UCB (not much) and UCSB (not much.) </p>
<p>If you’re not having fun at UCSC, I don’t think you’ll find what you’re looking for by switching schools. I’m not a frat guy either, so I get that. Maybe your expectations were too high? I mean you’ll meet people, but you’re surrounded by a bunch of adults… a lot of those people are going to want to party on Thursday and then have their independence. </p>
<p>My friend switched to SJSU because she hadn’t declared a major yet at UCLA and didn’t her original plan (nursing) didn’t pan out. Also, her boyfriend went to SJSU, but even if he didn’t I doubt she would have stayed at UCLA. She probably wouldn’t have gone to SJSU, but she was a northern Cali girl anyways so UCLA really wasn’t her thing.</p>
<p>@Kebobs: Because SJSU is nowhere near as good of a school and she broke up with her boyfriend a few months after getting there. When you’re young, you tend to think more in a short-term way.</p>
<p>Besides SJSU being a bureaucratic hellhole the Westwood/Santa Monica area is way cooler than Man Jose any day of the week. UCSC by far has the nicest campus in Nor-Cal and there are tons of cuties and cool people around compared to any other bay area school. I wouldn’t really worry about if the people you meet in college are close friends or acquaintances. Just give a lil up to chance so can grow and experience college and life all you can.</p>
<p>@ jslee812: its nice that you understand this post, but what do you mean by dealing with it? its not something that i just wanna “cope” with for the rest of my college years ya know?</p>
<p>@jslee: haha I thought I was going to get stuck in purgatory (UCR) last year when I didn’t get into UCSD. Somehow, I snuck into UCI, even though I’m leaving after this quarter.</p>
<p>@grimes99: yea i guess youre right… i mean i’m trying to stay positive and hoping this year will get better. but i just had to say what was on my mind</p>
<p>@Kebobs: What I mean’t to say was that I finally realized who my true friends are(old high school buddies, we each go to different colleges now).It took a few road trips and a series of other events during the summer before this Fall to figure that out.What also helped/is helping me, is that i’m more focused on academics.I did really well last year too, but the focus is on a total different level, so i’m not so much dwelling on my social life as much.I also have a part-time job and i’m pledging with a fraternity as we speak(great group of guys).</p>
<p>So it it’s actually coming along quite nicely, finally.lol too bad I’m still planning on transferring.</p>