You are awsome…4.0 and 36 ACT. Take that awesomeness and shine at your new college! Get the t-shirt!
Be excited about your school…“Yes, I am going to State U. I can’t wait to get involved in the XYZ there.”
“Going to H?”
“No (with enthusiasm) I got into Auburn with a full scholarship! And the honors college with special classes and dorms, I’m so excited!! Can you believe it! A school like that for free?
How about you
You are good enough. It’s that there are so many students who are “good enough”, that the top schools can afford to choose the truly outstanding students among them, not counting many recruited athletes, legacies etc. Quite a few very academically strong students I know will go to our state flagship this year, with acceptance rate around 70%. You’re in good company. Enjoy your college experience.
Thank you. You have all made me feel much better. I think I just needed a change in perspective, and reading your comments has helped. Hopefully I can respond to them all, so here goes.
@lostaccount, you’re right. Thank you for your thoughtful reply – I know that what you wrote is true, even if it’s hard to accept at times. I know college is a business, but it just feels so personal come decision time. (The pea analogy cheered me up a little.)
I think part of my problem is getting caught up in the whole thing surrounding elite schools – it wasn’t what I wanted but I felt like I should want it, and I guess I convinced myself too well. Most of my high school goes to in-state publics, including all this year’s NMF, and only a handful go to highly-ranked schools. Most of the discussions on CC take place in a completely different world than that and I think that skewed my perspective a bit. After all, the school I’m attending hasn’t changed in quality just because I got rejected from other colleges.
Honestly, I know I would have been miserable at most of the other schools, none of which were fits for me outside of maybe academics. I know I didn’t do the work to get accepted at elite schools, and I did make that choice consciously because I’m not a very competitive person.
And yes, I’ll be going to a state flagship with a full ride thanks to NMF. Now that I’ve thought about it, as much as it hurts to be rejected, it makes my life much easier. I won’t have any what-ifs about not applying or not attending elsewhere, I don’t need to wrestle with any hard decisions, and I won’t have to drown in debt or watch my patents struggle to tell me they can’t afford the other schools.
Upon further reflection, about 90% of the disappointment was the rejection from the school closest to me, which was the only one I was seriously considering. It does sting to tell people now, but I realized while reading this that, although the school is well-known, I’ll escape most of the “what about xyz???” comments once I leave. @MaineLonghorn and @SouthernHope, I’m glad I’m not the only one facing the wave of “oh, ok.” comments…@privatebanker, you summed it up exactly.
I know I’ll have lots of opportunities in college, and I’m feeling a little more excited now. The sweatshirt method definitely does help! I know that I’m fortunate to be able to go to college at all, and especially at a strong school at no cost to me. Plenty of students in other countries would give an arm and a leg to even go to a community college in the US.
Well done, @SuperSenior19! It sounds as if you are ending up in a good place for you- and you see that.
Nobody likes a rejection, but the surprising thing about the blood sport of college admissions is how often it actually does work out- even if it doesn’t look like it in April, by autumn almost everybody is pretty happy. Congratulations and well done!
ps- the benefits of being college debt free will shape the next decade of your life.
When you reach a certain age and start glancing in your rear-view mirror, you will notice how often things worked out in your favor. I read the full ride offer as a prompt intended to move you in a particular direction. You’re about to step into the spotlight as an academic star at your selected university. There are advantages to be had in starting from that position. You are highly valued there, and your talents will be noticed. Doors will open. You are far more than good enough. Shine on.
Dear OP, please know that this is very temporary!!! Maybe from now until your graduation (and party if you have one), you’ll have to answer the question about where you are going. And just think, every time you answer it, that’s one less person you have to go through this with. Then it’s all over and you can start on your path. Remember your original feelings about the elites. You’ll get through it. Congrats on your achievement and for reaching out for help. It’s so normal to have some second guessing with such a big decision, it’s part of the process.
Thank you for the kind words @TS0104 – luckily it seems like it’s getting easier to tell people; I had to grin and bear it at first but most of the people I thought would comment were actually happy for me, or at the least felt bad for me 
I know I’ll get over it by the time I go to college in a few months, so I’m trying to just forget about it. And you’re right, I would be second-guessing myself no matter what the decision, so I guess it was inevitable!
I think that a lot of us have encountered this question, it really is hard to be an adult. People expect too much that is why we tend to be pressure.
The one thing that sticks out to me in your post was when you said, “I’m not good enough for those schools…” Please don’t think that for a moment. You absolutely ARE good enough for any school. You must remember it’s a matter of numbers. Sheer numbers of applicants. Please think of it like winning the lottery. That’s really what it comes down to. There are so many qualified and overqualified students that it’s just a matter of having your application randomly selected out of a huge pile.
Most people have never won the lottery and you didn’t win the admissions lottery but maybe you will at something else in your life. Maybe it will be in love, or a fantastic job, or great health.
Always remember, the best is yet to come. Have faith that where you are going is where you are meant to be. Great things will happen for you. I think you will look back at this experience with a lot of wisdom for someone else.
Congratulations on being such a successful student and having am amazing future!
@SuperSenior19 I am reading this very early in the morning, getting ready to catch a flight. I am mega-impressed with your stats, and I can understand your feelings.
The fact of the matter is that you are outstanding. Keep the same mindset and enthusiasm that has already gotten you so far and apply that to whatever college/university you attend and you will continue to go far. Don’t, for a moment, think you are not as capable as someone who got into an “elite” school. Wherever you go, it’s what you make of it.
The folks here have already said it better than I can, so I will refrain from saying more.
All the very best, and you really should be proud of your stellar accomplishments. Congrats!
Ok, first of all, I have to give you a huge round of applause for your NMF and getting a full scholarship to a 4 year university.
THAT is what you should be bragging about and celebrating.
TRUST me on this…in 4-ish years when you’ve graduated and have ZERO college student loans to pay off, all of the other students out there who attended Expensive University X will be VERY envious of the freedom you will have. You’ll have a lot more freedom than they will because you won’t have huge student loans to pay off. No $200,000-$250,000 of loans to pay off. It’s a massive weight off of one’s shoulders.
As a result, when you are applying to jobs & looking for employment, you’ll have the freedom to go ahead and take, perhaps, a slightly lower paying entry level job because it’s in your chosen field doing exactly what you want to do. In turn, the students with massive amounts of college loans to pay off will not have as much freedom in the job hunt as you will.
So when people ask you if you got into Expensive & Elite University X, don’t hang your head in shame. Put on your game face and tell them, “No, I didn’t get in there. And Other Expensive & Elite Universities Y and Z rejected me, too. But you know what’s really great? I got a full ride scholarship to University ___ thanks to my NMF. Did you know whtat University __ has this great program in insertfunfactoidhere? I’m so excited and I can’t wait for this fall!”
It is nobodies business what schools you got into. You are where you want to be. Own it. If you are asked “Did you get into College X” you can reply “As a NMF I had a lot of good options, but chose to accept the scholarship at College Y as the best fit for me.”
you asked for comforting and you got it. Kudos to those helping you out.
I’m going to take a different tack so if you don’t like it, ignore it. My message is this has been a wakeup call.
You write “I thought I was doing things right” but at the same time you admit your “essay was OK but not wow, ECs were lackluster”. This is the only time you’re applying to college but it wasn’t worth putting as much effort as you can into your essays? Your ECs did not have the leadership and/or achievement very selective schools look for, which you describe as consisting of an internship and that you “worked and volunteered and did some clubs”. Yet top colleges were supposed to pick you anyway?
It’s clear you’re a smart kid from your gpa and ACT, but smart alone isn’t going to put you high up on the ladder. Not in college admissions, not in job search after graduation, not in a lot of things. You may not have believed this before, but I hope you do now with the college results at hand.
You seem to have lots of potential but it’s going to be up to you to translate that into achievement. Now a lot of kids are unsure of what they want to do at age 18, even those that think they are sure change their minds a few times, but its still worth giving it some thought and effort along the way instead of drifting along and then repeating this experience 4 years hence when you look for a post-college job. A few months back you wrote
If you don’t spend the time looking for experience in the field, get to know some profs, then you’ll be at a disadvantage compared to those that have. Add to that the glut of PhD’s in the sciences which means the job outlook for someone with just a BS degree in Chem/Biochem isn’t great, often lower-level jobs without much advancement. In HS you say you “didn’t spend HS prepping for college apps” and you now see the results that gave you against peers competing for top colleges. In college you can devote time to prepping for the job market, or not. But know that other kids will be…
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^ I do agree that you often do have to prep and put in the hard work to get what you want, but while I see that worth doing to get in to the career you want, I’m ambivalent about whether the college admissions process is worth the effort.
More important is doing the hard work of determining what you want your life to be.
Thanks @Empireapple – your last paragraph is nearly identical to what my parents told me, actually, and now my sister thinks this is a sign I’ll find my true love at college or something
@tucsonmom I hadn’t considered it from that angle yet about jobs, but you’re right. I didn’t realize until now how much of a strain it would have put on my family if I attended another school; I would have had about twice the debt I was expecting and this way, my parents can use the money for my sister and we can both graduate debt-free, so I’m grateful. In a way, getting rejected was a good thing because it made a necessary decision very easy (whereas it would’ve been hard to turn another school down).
@badgolfer, I can’t disagree with you entirely because yes, I could have done much more, and no, my applications were not absolutely spectacular. Part of that was because I was naive about what I needed to do; part of that was because, as @PurpleTitan stated, I didn’t think it was “worth” doing things I wasn’t interested in for the sole purpose of college applications (and even if I had, it’s very possible I’d be in the exact same spot and feeling even worse). But it’s not as though I did nothing in HS (I worked over 40 hrs/week this summer), and I did work very hard on my essays – I just know that, despite being my personal best, they weren’t THE best.
I’m also beginning to think that “you must major in STEM and go to grad school” is the new “you must go to Harvard” for top students, so I’m still unsure about that. But yes, you make a very valid point and it’s something I will seriously consider during my time in college, as I’d rather be prepared and not need it than vice versa (and I’ll need a job eventually, regardless).
“I just know that, despite being my personal best, they weren’t THE best”
Hmm. You don’t seem to be hearing what many people are saying. Elite privates mostly aren’t filling up with “THE best”.
The majority have some hook or another (including about 5% who are in solely or mostly because their parents donated a ton of money to the school). Roughly 10% of Harvard’s entering class is for those who are the very best academically. The rest are indeed awesome in usually many ways.
But, and this is something I’ve pointed out before: There is this wide discrepancy between how difficult it is to get in and how much opportunity is on offer between colleges in the US.
The example I gave is that a CS major at UCSD (or heck, even SJSU or CalPoly SLO) will have about the same opportunities open to them as a Stanford CS major or Cal EECS major. Yet it is waaay harder to get in to Stanford/Cal EECS than UCSD/SJSU/CalPoly SLO CS.
I’m not saying that I would have gotten in if my essays were “the best,” or that that idea is even quantifiable – I was mainly responding to badgolfer’s comment by saying that just because I know my essays weren’t great doesn’t mean that I didn’t put effort into them. I wasn’t obsessed with it, but I still tried, obviously. No amount of time would have made them spectacular, but writing a college essay is a very limited skill that doesn’t really affect anything I’ll do in or after college, so ultimately, I’m not too concerned with it. (I hope that makes sense; correct me if I misunderstood you.)
I agree with you completely on both points, which is why I’m not concerned about going to my “safety” school – I just paid my deposit, actually!!
Congrats, @SuperSenior19, and well done. We are big fans of ‘HS is more than just prepping for college’ and felt that it was important for our collegekids to do well enough that they would have a college option that wouldn’t limit them from whatever path they chose- which is exactly what you have.
Agree!
But: right from the beginning think about what you want to do during your summers- summer internships & jobs are real opportunities to taste-test what you are genuinely interested in, and applications often open as early as Nov/Dec (though most open in Jan-Feb). Remember that an internship/job is a 2-way street- it’s not just for building your CV for grad school or post-college jobs (though that is a good part of it of course)- it’s a way for you to see if you actually like that path in it’s adult version.
One of Maria Montessori’s favorite maxims was ‘follow the child’, meaning let the young person follow their true interests, and build the formalized learning around those interests. One of the great things about the US system of education, and being in a big and varied country like the US, is that there are so many, many possible paths- and none of them have to be linear. In college, follow your true interests, and build your formalized learning around them. You are obviously smart and competent: trust yourself to find a path that works for you. Formal schooling is (comparatively) short- life is long.
A lot of great advice and perspective in this thread. I can relate a bit, as my college application story reminds me a bit of your situation (albeit from the “olden days” i.e. the late 80’s):
Graduated valedictorian of my high school class, but wound up with a rejection and 2 waitlists from an Ivy, Ivy + and a T50 university. Was devastated to wind up at my safety school, a large state university. Should i have applied to more schools, yes. Did I have any guidance from a CC or parents, no. My disappointment in myself was matched only by what I as disappointment from my family, friends and teachers. In hindsight, I’ll say the following:
-Other people, including my parents, weren’t disappointed IN me. They were disappointed FOR me, because I was unhappy with my outcome. I think what bothered me the most was that I felt like I worked really hard and then didn’t even have any options to choose from (I shouldered the blame for not applying to more schools, but it still stung)
-My 4 years at college were what I made of them. I walked on to an athletic team, which provided me with travel opportunities that were a highlight of my years there. I made life-long friends, met my future husband, studied hard, and had a blast.
-Graduating debt-free had a bigger impact on my life during the decade after college than I could have possibly imagined. I had a level of freedom and options that I wouldn’t have had if I was living under a crushing burden of debt.
I feel for you, and I suspect as time passes, your outlook will brighten. Now that you’ve put down your deposit, get yourself some swag and wear it with pride!
Wishing you the best!