S23 is in at his top three choices (UMN, Colorado State and Michigan Tech). It was pretty exciting that all of his acceptances came within days of each other. UMN came while we were touring CSU, CSU came while we were driving back to the hotel from our tour and UMN came the day after we got home). What a relief to find out so early. Now the hard part…
He absolutely loves all three schools although they all have completely different vibes. All were picked after extensive research into his chosen major (wildlife biology and conservation with an emphasis on apex predator research and hands-on field experience.). It’s so interesting for me to hear his thought process. I’m loving this little window into how his brain works. He’s a flexible kid that can see himself being happy anywhere (I think he said “I can be happy here” at every single school we visited) and every big positive for a school isn’t necessarily a negative for the others. He’s even down to considering where he’d like to settle after school.
A couple of days ago he had decided he wasn’t making any decisions until after he went to accepted students day at each school and he would choose the place that he felt had the best “student fit”. Last night he told me he thinks he has a front-runner based on “the school that seems to want me the most. They are really going out of their way to let me know they want me as a person”.
So, how are your kids making their decisions? How much guidance are you offering? I’m trying not to offer much as I feel he has 3 great options and I know he will be successful wherever he lands. He has consistently made great educational choices (schools, classes, extracurricular opportunities, leadership roles) even when I had differing opinions, and he’s always made the right choice for him. I couldn’t be any prouder of what he’s accomplished (he’s a gifted kid with a learning difference). I’ve learned to trust him when it comes to making these decisions. I’m caught up on the travel to MT, but I’m trying to stay quiet about it.
Edited to add: I’m not really looking for answers of how to make the decision as they are all great, just interested to hear how other kids approached it.
Dont know how independent your child is but have him see exactly how difficult it is to travel to the schools on his own. Plan the routes, see the expense involved. Emergencies may happen and he should know how much it will cost and how long it will take for him to come home or for you to get to him.
Kids make decisions in many ways - some based on what your son said - they put on the best show - but that doesn’t mean they’ll put on the best four years.
Some based on cost or transportation access (i.e. it will be hard to get to Michigan Tech). He might look into the research or the specialties of each school. Will he be able to access nature directly from UMN, etc. Are what they study in Northern Michigan the same as in Fort Collins? Sports / greek will be different at big time, mid level time, and small school (sports wise). You might have him ask about research opportunities and internships / career outcomes that come from each school.
In the end, many kids pursue their dreams, yet get a bad roommate or professor and struggle.
Many other “settle” for a school they didn’t want, meet their BFF, have a wonderful time, and it turns out awesome.
I’d say this to you and your son - everyone wants to choose the “one” right school - but the truth is, there is a possibility that any of the three can be right - many who have a great experience could likely have a great experience at various schools.
So you don’t know if it will be great til you live it - but hopefully - he has no wrong choice!!! So go with one and it’ll be fine. And if he changes his mind, that one can be fine too.
Once he gets there, hopefully between homesickness, roomies and academics, it all goes well!!
Best of luck to him and congrats on finishing the application process early.
That’s the thing. He is very independent. He goes to boarding school now and arranged all the travel to the schools himself, set up appointments with professors, read research that the schools were producing, etc. He is comfortable enough with the travel that he fully intended to go to accepted student days on his own until we pointed out that he’s not old enough to rent a car or check into a hotel on his own (he won’t even be 18 until after high school graduation).
Did you meet him at these visits…otherwise, where did he stay etc. And how did he get around? If he did it once alone, he can do it again…one would think.
Our DD also had all of her acceptances to her top three choices before December. Still, she wanted to go to accepted student days. The school that loved her the most…and boy did they ever (lots of correspondences, a huge merit scholarship, a private scholarship day because she couldn’t attend the one the college had, notes from students, birthday cards, swag…) ended up coming in second place after the accepted student visits.
The school that was second choice completely dropped off the list. The accepted student thing was not well run, and really turned DD off.
She sent her deposit on April 29.
We didn’t talk to DD at all about this. We let her make the decision in her own time. If she had decided to matriculate some place sooner, we would have been fine with that. We also supported the accepted student visits, and actually went along (we had friends and relatives to visit too).
It’s great that your child is already down to his top choices. Your question will be more relevant to more people here if you ask again in April. There probably aren’t that many parents on CC whose kids are already deciding where they will attend college in Aug/Sep of 2023.
As a general response, one kid waited until the last minute, then decided again after a waitlist offer. The other kid decided based on money. He simply didn’t see how spending many thousands of dollars more was going to make him happier. He’s happy at the well-regarded instate option.
When I say he “arranged it”, I mean he plans it, we coordinate dates and belly up the credit card. We do travel together because I enjoy the time I get to spend with him and with him being in boarding school, that’s limited. I also want to visit all of the schools he is considering. We’ve always had him “lead the way” through airports and problem-solve any flight delays (with us there as back up) since he was very young as he was a kid that craved independence and we knew he’d want to do all of this on his own sooner rather than later. He chose to go to both a middle school and high school that offered a lot of travel experiences and had the students participate in planning the trips. We have another child that is a year older and has no desire to be independent so we’ve had to adjust our parenting styles to fit each kid.
Congrats! Definitely a good idea to go to the accepted student days.
I would suggest he base his final choice on affordability (if it is a factor) then academic fit, social fit, and any other things he may care about (ex. location, Greek Life, big time sports as a few examples). If it is a factor consider how each college can accommodate his learning difference.
Personally I would not focus on how much he feels each college “wants” him unless it gets tied into something concrete like an invitation to an honors program, merit money etc. Other than those type of things it is a function of the admissions department and once he is on campus he will never deal with them again.
I do agree that the college search process gives a parent some wonderful insights into their kid’s thought process. Your son sounds successful and very well grounded so congrats!
Now that you’re down to 3 it becomes easier to start laying out head to head comparisons.
One of the other things he can do is lay out and compare the requirements for his major at each school. Some may have different “core” requirements, some might have different options for concentrations, or minors, etc.
Send a message to the department chair, how many students in are currently in the program? Do they have any statistics they can share on outcomes. Based on his major, how easy is it to do research? Do they have any partnerships with zoos? or do they sponsor research trips over break? Do any of their professors current research line up with your sons interest.
Lay out all the other stuff, total cost, campus vibe, etc.
Lastly, don’t rush to commit, it’s very tempting for HS kids to want to just move on, but nows the time when he has the leverage.
My son narrowed to 3 and then waited until 2 days before the deadline to decide. They were similar in that they were different and all had things he liked. In the end it was a little thing that sealed the deal. Good job giving him space. He’ll figure it out.
One thing that was not touched upon and to me is very important. He is a gifted kid with a learning difference. This!!
He’s in private school now with what I have to assume is great support. Which school can give him the continued support he needs? Also which school teaches in the style of learning that he can continue to succeed?
Have him join Facebook groups and have a face to face if he can with someone in the departments. It’s amazing how much insight my kids learned that is not in the polished brochures once they talked to the department heads /professors /graduate students.
Plus sure go to accepted student day. Why not. Get some free gear
Yes, these are his final 3 because he’s already done that leg work. He’s met with students/professors or counselors at each school to go over courses, research opportunities, core requirements, etc. And the crazy thing is that with auto-merit, they are all within a few thousand dollars of each other. Maybe there will be more merit offered later? They are within our budget and around the same price as our state flagship (which is notoriously stingy with merit and doesn’t have his major)
This is going to be a deep dive now that he’s accepted. He researched all the academic supports available at each school but did not want to out himself as a kid with an LD before he was accepted (he’s worked hard these past few years to learn how to structure his work to be successful and only needs a few accommodations on longer tests due to visual dyspraxia). His next step will be to call the departments that handle accommodations to see how they respond to his evaluation. They all are known to have good support, but the difference is if they feel the accommodations are “reasonable” and how they deal with teachers that don’t follow accommodations. I’ve been combing FB groups and do see some stories that are concerning but also lots of praise. Now that DS has learned to advocate for himself, I’m not as worried as I would have been when he was entering high school. I assume there will always be “that one professor” that will make life miserable, but thankfully, I think he has to tools to get through that.
Your son may want to connect with the Office of Disability Services at each of the colleges to fully understand:1) what accommodations can be expected with his profile; 2) how such accommodations are generally handled; and 3) exactly what documentation will have to be submitted to get the needed accommodations.
My D narrowed it down to 2 and then waited until a couple days before decision day to make a decision. Her choices were very different from one another and would offer her very different experiences. I think she had a strong favorite (which she ultimately chose) but was concerned about the distance from home and travel. We tried to stay out of the decision as much as possible. We talked about it a lot and discussed the pros and cons of each but 100% wanted it to be her decision.
I agree that going to admitted student’s days is a great idea. It’s more time on campus and with other students and faculty. It sounds like your son has good options, so he can’t really go wrong. I mean, if he goes with the school that is showing him the most love, then fine. He’ll feel wanted and happy about his choice. My daughter is currently applying to grad schools and one school is really doing an amazing job with communication, reaching out, providing information, etc. Since she’s the type who likes a friendly, collaborative environment, it’s hard for that not to influence her a bit.
Another vote for going to admitted student days before deciding unless there is a clear #1. He may also want to see if there is a program where he can go to classes and stay in the dorms with a student ambassador.
In addition to plan of study for her major, my D also did a deep dive on gen ed requirements and those ancillary academic requirements. That helped her further differentiate.
