<p>I'm a freshman at UC-Boulder. I'm in an unusual situation - I commute out of my parents' home not far from campus, but my parents don't live anymore in the house as they are living abroad, so the house is now being used by me and my brother only.</p>
<p>First I was a bit afraid of being left out of the social college life because I don't live in the dorms, but I managed to meet many people and I'm getting involved with activities and hanging out with other ppl here.</p>
<p>I invited a couple friends here on different occasions, got lucky with 2 different girls, and I kinda get over the old mindset of when my parents lived here and set all rules. Now I'm not a serious drinker, I have no interest on drugs and I hate smoke (tobacco or weed). I kinda want to use the house to invite more people and throw small parties here, mostly to meet more people and do things more on the chill-out side.</p>
<p>Maybe I'm a bit paranoid, but I'm kinda afraid of inviting 20-25 people to come, and having 200 friend-of-boyfriend-of-acquaintance showing up at the door and things getting out of control. However, I don't want to sound like some arrogant guy with a house in the woods who yells "no trespassing" for people I didn't invite. There are some quite wacky stories of house parties getting out of hand and having lots of people crashing them and bringing trouble (especially weed).</p>
<p>Should I wait longer before inviting more than 5 people at once to come here? Is it considered rude to invite some colleagues and tell them that the party is small and thus to avoid bringing other people along? Our house is not big with many rooms or smth, but it is a bit isolated n the foothills - closest neighbor is 1/2 mile away -, so a bit of noise is not a problem.</p>
<p>I think the secret lies in who you invite - you have to know your friends. If you invite only the kind of friends who are respectful and know your situation, and ask before they bring anyone (or know that “bring a friend!” means “bring 1-2 respectful people who won’t trash my house”), then you should be fine. But if your friends are the type of people who believe a party isn’t a party without free-flowing drugs and 200 people, then you may have to set some ground rules with the ahead of time.</p>
<p>You might want to start with 10-15 people (invite different groups of friends) and then work your way up to 25-30. That way you can gauge how they behave in a party situation without doing a big group.</p>
<p>I once threw a party and invited 20 people. About 50+ people came and I had to kick some out because there were freeloading and people I’ve never met AND there was no room. The party was meant for a population of 20-25, not 50-60.</p>
<p>What I learned from that is you need to first off, invite people but let them know clearly that they can invite anyone they want AS LONG AS THEY LET YOU KNOW or run it by you. Secondly, invite people you can trust and know their circle of friends. Most, if not all people, like to come to a party with at least one other person – most of the time being their significant other or closest friend (if you didn’t already invite them). </p>
<p>I actually don’t see a problem with having a very small group of people. It won’t come off mean if you say right off the bat that you want your get together to be a small “kickback” (is the term we use) and most people, in that case, will probably only bring their s/o or one best friend, not their entire crew.</p>
<p>If you’re gonna be the host of a party, you definitely need to put your foot down to get what you want.</p>
<p>Don’t throw parties if you’re afraid of “hurting feelings”. If you want people to leave your house, tell them. If you don’t want anyone to bring anyone, tell them so. Speak up and be firm or your party will not be what you envisioned.</p>