Time Management

<p>My D has really poor "time management" skills... which drive me crazy.. can anyone help me (so, I won't be so crezy) and help her to get better time management skills.</p>

<p>I don't know how old your daughter is, but I recently found a great book on organization and time management for middle school students: The Organized Student, by Goldberg and Zweibel. It was recommended a few weeks ago in a thread here.</p>

<p>I also like Julie Morganstern's books, Organizing from the Inside Out, and Time Management from the Inside Out.</p>

<p>My 13-year-old son is horribly disorganized. He is so bad that the school has someone working with him intensely. I gave this person a copy of The Organized Student, and we're both using some ideas from it.</p>

<p>Thanks for the info..., I guess I was so eager to find some help and forget include more info. she is 14, freshman, GATE student and take Honor class. with school activity and heavy home work, she really need better time mng skills. our house runs schedule around her. her little sister (12) is helping doing almos her housework (doing dishes, folding cloth).., it makes me anger when I saw her just sit at her desk and look at the wall..., is there any summer program that she can go?</p>

<p>Well, in the first place, stop running your household schedule around her! For goodness sake, when did you plan to stop running in to rescue her? In graduate school?</p>

<p>It is BY FAR better for kids to learn the consequences of their actions earlier than later--the consequences are much less serious. If she realizes that she cannot hand off her responsibilities to you, she will get serious about them.</p>

<p>Here are some practical suggestions:</p>

<p>1) Write down what you expect of her in the way of school, studies, chores, etc. and have her sign it. It's a contract. Make it clear that if she violates the contract there will be consequences.</p>

<p>2) Get her an assignment book to take to school and have her write every assignment in it, with due dates, and intermediate reminders for herself on when things are due. Check it every night; if it's not filled out, that's a violation of the contract.</p>

<p>3) Do NOT allow little sister to do her chores. When she realizes she has to spend her entire weekend doing the chores she was supposed to do all week, plus more as a consequence, she'll come around pretty fast. Besides, what message are you sending your 12 year old: That her sister is more important than she is? That you don't love her as much? That the things that she wants to spend time on, her talents, her hopes and dreams, are not as important to you? That her goal in life is to make sure her big sister will never fail? That's ridiculous. You are jeopardizing your relationship with little sister.</p>

<p>4) Be creative--make the consequences fit the situation. If she won't fold the family laundry, DON'T WASH HER CLOTHES. If she won't do the dishes, DON'T SET HER PLACE AT THE TABLE, MAKE HER WASH HER OWN DISHES BEFORE SHE CAN EAT.</p>

<p>Honestly, by making up for her negligence you are doing her a great disservice. You are guaranteeing that she will fail when you are not there to hold her hand, make excuses, and take care of the things that she "forgot." Every day that you continue this will make the final outcome worse.</p>

<p>To be honest, I was thinking exactly what wyogal said. Many of our kids have schedules like that. My daughter carried a full load her senior year, plus spent 12 - 15 hours a week at the dance studio, plus 10 hours in the car going to & from the dance studio. She still unloaded the dishwasher every other day, did her own laundry twice a week, and made her bed every morning. The chances of her brother doing her chores were nonexistent!</p>

<p>She learned to do homework in the car and between rehearsals. She had a detailed calendar where she kept assignments. And she learned that excuses didn't work around our house.</p>

<p>There are absolutely no reasons for others to be doing your daughter's chores, or for the schedule to be revolving around her. And she needs to learn that early because, trust me, things will get worse!</p>

<p>P.S. You know what taught my daughter more about time management than anything else? A $102 speeding ticket, trying to get to dance class on time. And the fact that her teacher found out about it!</p>

<p>Agree with the previous two posters. My 13 year S only stated taking his chores and schoolwork seriously whe he started losing allowance and computer privileges.</p>

<p>< Thanks for the info..., I guess I was so eager to find some help and forget include more info. she is 14, freshman, GATE student and take Honor class. with school activity and heavy home work, she really need better time mng skills. >
Why can't she just cut back on the Honors classes and the extracurricular activities? Maybe your daughter simply has too much to do and not enough time for doing it.</p>

<p>Thanks for everyone's feedback..., looks like my daughtor and I have lots "homework" to do. What I really worry is what she is going to do if I am not around her to keep telling her how important the time management is. I hope is not too late to teach her the lesson.... thank you all.</p>

<p>I need a lot of down time- constant obligations affects my health and my concentration and my ability to make productive use of my time.
While I have found that a reasonable amount of obligations forces me to plan my time- if I also can't plan into my day "me or play" time- everything suffers- which means as the "mom" everybody * suffers along with me!
But seriously-she may just be spread too thin- we don't all have to do * everything
</p>

<p>Look, at 14 they sometimes need some help with setting priorities. </p>

<p>In our house, we set the priorities like this:</p>

<p>First, school work, and it was the most demanding course they could handle.</p>

<p>Second, contribute to family, i.e. chores and family time, including dinner at home every night. This could also include church activities, if you are religious.</p>

<p>Third, carefully chosen (but self-chosen) ec's. That is, if you make a commitment, you follow through. Some take more time than others. If you don't have time, you have to eliminate it. But it is important that your daughter choose what she is going to do. If she is a committed gymnast or figure skater, she won't have time for anything else. If she wants to be involved with the local food bank, she should have time for several other ec's too.</p>

<p>Last on the list--socializing outside of school/ec's, entertainment, etc.</p>

<p>You might set the priorities differently--that's ok! It's not the issue. The point is to give some structure to her world, and then let her make the decisions within that framework. Let her choose and make mistakes--that's ok, she has time to recover. But if you don't make her do this herself, she will always be "staring at the wall," as you put it.</p>

<p>Could also be that, for her current level of efficiency, your daughter is overscheduled and overwhelmed, schinagus. Good luck!</p>

<p>There was only one steadfast rule in my household - (although it dissipated somewhere between 6th & 7th grade)
Unless you have 95+ in a subject, all hwk must be done before anything else happens - tv turned on, comp. turned on, calling friends etc. That made sure the important stuff got done!</p>