<p>Oops- I think the OP claimed his friend's mom made over $170K. So let me replace that comment with this one made by the OP instead
[quote]
I personally had access to unlimited amount of money (relatively) if i had straight A's. I mean I would just ask my dad to buy me something or for his credit card and would be like let me see your report card. okay here. Seriously I worked so hard to get that money.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Yea during high school. Not college. And my father owed me 8k for unworked wages. And when I said the other comment about them paying for my entire first college year, it wasn't about my room&board, tuition, travel or anything else but food. My school required me to have a meal plan and health insurance which was 1k. </p>
<p>You know I was going to let this thread go since majority of concensus was hostile but I think I'm just going to defend myself just a little bit.
Don't try to psychoanalysis me please, especially about my parents. I have a great relationship with them, talk to them every other day. And no, I do not have any problems. </p>
<p>I think You guys just took this the wrong way. This rant I had wasn't meant for everyone on this forum, just a few. Perhaps my tone, or the lack of a friendly tone, turned everyone off. I was just trying to convey the message that parents shouldn't monopolise their kids' life (especially about college), maybe give them a little responsibility for themselves. Carlyle once said "Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment." He conveys what I have been trying to say, but better. Some people got it, others misunderstood. So I apologise if you got angry, took it the wrong way, or whatever. Good day.</p>
<p>"I think You guys just took this the wrong way. This rant I had wasn't meant for everyone on this forum, just a few. Perhaps my tone, or the lack of a friendly tone, turned everyone off. I was just trying to convey the message that parents shouldn't monopolise their kids' life (especially about college), maybe give them a little responsibility for themselves. Carlyle once said "Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment." He conveys what I have been trying to say, but better. Some people got it, others misunderstood. So I apologise if you got angry, took it the wrong way, or whatever. Good day."</p>
<p>Why is it that so many have mastered the art of the apology that blames the other person for the misdeed?</p>
<p>^^ Correct, BCEagle. And the art of double talk and rewording, and justifying. Watching Tim Russert's tributes on Meet the Press right now, the skill of a successful interchange of differing ideas is highlighted. Tim had a true guft. Many could learn from it.
And this
[quote]
And my father owed me 8k for unworked wages
[/quote]
is a great typo!</p>
<p>Among so many choices, my favorite is "majority of concensus." [sic]</p>
<p>ugh whatever. im done.</p>
<p>
[quote]
ugh whatever. im done.
[/quote]
Well, so far that hasn't happened. </p>
<p>I am confused as to why you continue to drag this on. You haven't made a clear argument as to why you think the parents on CC are doing too much for their children; And you certainly have not done anything to raise your audience's (ostensibly the parents on CC) opinion of your attitude. Why should we listen to your moaning about being misunderstood?</p>
<p>Infants cry until they get what they want.</p>
<p>Toddlers point and use words or small phrases and throw tantrums to get what they want.</p>
<p>Children whine and act out on their uncommunicated frustrations trying to get what they want.</p>
<p>Adolescents complain and yell at their parents in anger because they can't get what they want.</p>
<p>Adults communicate to their peers in a way that attracts the respect to their argument that it deserves.</p>
<p>Where do you fall in this developmental continuum?</p>
<p>I think everyone needs to leave lethargy alone. He has made a good point and is being bombarded by numerous examples from parents defending their involvement with their children's college process.</p>
<p>He's not attacking anyone, but just putting the message out there that while parents can maintain a safe distance during the college process and help out once in a while, they should not be a helicopter parent. His argument is aimed towards the extreme parents who freak out over the S/D's 2300 SAT score.</p>
<p>It worked out with me and my parents quite well, and I am very thankful to them.</p>
<p>Goaliedad, you should be ashamed for belittling adolescents and glorifying adults. You were young once, remember that growing up is not just about tantrums but learning how to take care of yourself, which is what the college process is about.</p>
<p>Uh... this thread was long dead. And the purpose of resurrecting it was.. to what, chastise the parents???</p>
<p>catsushi, </p>
<p>My comment was about the development of communications skills, not more broadly about learning how to take care of yourself (which should include being able to communicate in an effective manner which the OP has clearly not done). </p>
<p>I agree that adolescence is about learning how to take care of yourself. The OP's original post (and the bulk of his follow up posts) took a broad generalizing swipe at parents in general that the greater majority of us parent posters disagree with and may have offended a few.</p>
<p>His continued lack of careful analysis before posting and his frustration with his inability to defend his original proposal, (playing the misunderstood card without clarification) while continuing to challenge the countering arguments do not suggest a maturity in engaging in discussion in the Parents Forum. The Parents Forum is where Parents discuss issues and students come to exchange views with Parents in a manner that is respectful to the target audience (i.e. Parents).</p>
<p>If the OP wants to come to the Parents Forum and trash parents and act like an adolescent, he will be treated as such. Yes, I did generalize about adolescent (and earlier stage) communications, but that too is about development and some get through the growing faster than others. Many adolescents (I've been around the Prep School Forum for a long time) on CC effectively communicate as adults, showing respect to those with more lifetime experience when challenging their long held beliefs by crafting reasoned arguments. All I've seen in this thread from the OP is the anger expressed that "Parents" are too involved in their children's lives - and not even his own parents. </p>
<p>And yes, some parents do just act out in anger and have not grown up themselves. If you read my posting history carefully, while I may be a bit direct with criticism from time to time (see above), it is not done in anger and frustration. I do not see a reason to be ashamed.</p>
<p>If the OP or you want to start a discussion about why CC parents are "too involved" with their children, cutting snippets from various posts as evidence, that would be a very fair topic and perhaps could convince some parents to do a double take about their approach.</p>
<p>Until then, I rest my case.</p>
<p>To add a short anecdote, my mom didn't trust me too much, questioning my choice of schools, saying that my top choices weren't actually that good, and that I should just go to flagship state U. and save them money. Well, one of the schools she specifically told me NOT to apply to, I did anyways behind her back. And they offered me a hefty scholarship to match price of state U. and my parents fell in love with this school when we first visited. I'll admit, I knew nothing about it either, but I'm glad I applied there because I'm much happier than I would have been at State U.</p>
<p>Most parents want the best for their children. When it comes to college, it is no different. Some of the biggest problems I have seen with parents about college, have been with parents who do not know enough about colleges, costs, prestige, reputation, types, etc. Many of them form opinions based on what they have heard and read, instead of what they researched. Without the research, you can come up with some pretty cockeyed conclusions. Parents owe it to themselves and their kids to know what is going on in the college scenes, if they are want to be helpful. The college app system is complicated enough that any student can use the help of someone on his side. Parents are on their side. Informed parents can really make a big difference.</p>
<p>My D's appreciated the legwork that I did.......they did their part, I did mine. It saved time, trouble and money. Frankly, even tho till recently I had 2 jobs and often worked 14 days straight, I had more disposable time than my HS JR daughter. So it helped enormously for me to research colleges after she set out some criteria and guidelines. Two heads can be far better than one. Given the complexities of college admissions today, I pity the student whose parents don't help. If nothing else I am here for her to bounce her ideas and concerns off of, too. Plus, as someone said, at the current cost (48+ for D #1 this coming year) I think I do have the right to some say in the matter. Though ultimately, the final decision is hers.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Uh... this thread was long dead. And the purpose of resurrecting it was.. to what, chastise the parents???
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I heard (read) lethargy talking about this thread on another thread and decided to look it up, and couldn't help but add my two cents. There is no law against commenting. It's interesting that while trying to point out that a thread was resurrected, you also supported its resurrection. :]</p>
<p>
[quote]
If the OP wants to come to the Parents Forum and trash parents and act like an adolescent, he will be treated as such.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I didn't bother reading every detail but read the original post, and didn't see any "trashing" of parents, so I was a little surprised that the parents would respond with such defensive sensitivity.</p>
<p>You don't see <em>any</em> of the OP's posts as in any way trashing parents, yet you think the comment about reopening the dead thread somehow supported your point? LOL.</p>
<p>Ahh. I found the <em>charming</em> thread where lethargy says the parents here said he was "mentally ill and in a bad relationship". <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-confidential-cafe/525839-oh-god-how-lame-parents-here.html%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-confidential-cafe/525839-oh-god-how-lame-parents-here.html</a> Lovely thread., and interesting interpretation of the feedback he got here</p>
<p>** hey catsushi-- I got to the very last post in that thread, where you actually agreed with some of the parents and said your mom is here lurking in the shadows and that she turned you onto cc!! Well, maybe we aren't all such awful terrible parents after all. Keep in mind, most of the parents here come here to chat, share ideas, etc. (My kids call it adult facebook!) In fact, many, if not most, of the cc parents' kids don't read or post on cc. I only wish my s's did what you and the other kids her do-- research, learn, share and post here. Good for you. I applaud yuou. Just don't beat us up for doing the same thing-- coming here to learn and share</p>