<p>This is just no one's business and I really question the manners of parents who ask. We just shrugged and said "not sure yet - how about you?" Without exception, none of these "askers" would volunteer where their kid was applying.</p>
<p>I think that if you prefer to share the information, you should first say, "he's applying to a range of schools, including some that are a long shot for everybody." Try to avoid saying which one is his first choice. Or say, "His first choice is the best one he gets into."</p>
<p>Didn't realize that I was being rude when I asked the mothers of some of the senior teammates where their sons were looking! Being early in the search, I am looking for ideas of good matches for my son and for an idea of the type of schools that our high school sends its students to. On the other hand, after sitting in the bleachers with these parents for 2 or 3 years, I think it would be rude not to show some interest in what their plans are. After reading these posts, I will be careful how I phrase my questions.</p>
<p>I agree that sometimes it is knowledge sharing and sometimes it's competition. Usually you can tell the difference in advance by the way the question is phrased and the tone of voice and the type of parent asking. The competitive parents made my skin crawl! (And some of them were friends!) I tried to stick with a "I'm trying to respect her privacy and let her decide who to tell." Something like that. It was difficult to do, and sometimes I screwed up and blabbed and regretted it later. But with some parents you can just predict the post-April-first follow-up questions: "Oh, where is he/she going?" and the gears turning: Hmm. Didn't get into x. Didn't get into y. Etc. </p>
<p>I find the whole thing very creepy.</p>
<p>There's one family here with a boy who's a double legacy at a place I think S will be applying to. Since his parents are counting on him going there (since he was born, basically, nothing like being brainwashed!) I can see the writing on the wall when application time comes rolling around. I'm dreading it because she's going to be in my face. Well, as Lady Scarlett would say, "Fiddledee dee....I'll think about it another day!"</p>