Transfer dilemma: any advice is greatly appreciated

Transfer Students
1

<p>I apologize in advance to anyone who is gracious enough to take the time to read this post; I think it's going to be a long one. I'll try to only write what's necessary as well. And to be honest, I'm desperate, so any help at all would be immensely beneficial for me.</p>

<p>I'm currently a freshman at a private university in Southern California. While I've only been here for about half a semester, I'm already considering transferring for several reasons. </p>

<p>1) I don't feel connected with the campus. I have honestly been working ridiculously hard to get involved with clubs and to connect with people, but.. it hasn't been going so well. Whenever I've given an honest effort to be a part of something, it hasn't worked out. </p>

<p>For example: I was interested in joining an organization on campus that mentors middle school students. I signed up to receive information and expressed interest, and I never got any emails. I emailed them to see if they'd forgotten to send me information, and they messed something up, so I wasn't aware of the training session and first trip they had already held. The director told me it was too late to be involved, and that stung a little because I really wanted to be a part of the organization.</p>

<p>2) I don't feel connected socially. I tend to be more of a creative, introverted person, and I've been really pushing myself out of my comfort zone these past weeks to talk to people and make connections. I have really, really been trying, and I've been extremely open-minded and have initiated things more often than I ever would. However, my efforts have been futile so far. I see groups forming all around me, especially on my floor, that I'm not a part of. It's not that the people on my floor are particularly mean or anything; they're super nice. It's just that we're different and have different interests so it's hard to really connect.</p>

<p>I feel creatively stifled here, and I keep feeling like I would have benefited more from a college that's more creative and (I hate to use this word, but) "hipster." I would be able to connect more with people at a "hipster" college, and I would be able to make more genuine friends. I keep feeling like the social scene here doesn't suit me.</p>

<p>3) I want to be prepared to graduate early (probably a semester early or so) if I want to later on, so I plan to take classes during the summer. However, my university doesn't accept online credit. I live in a semi-rural part of Connecticut, and the commute to the nearest college isn't easy, so it really sucks that I can't take online classes and have them transfer. Finding this out only strengthened my thoughts about transferring. </p>

<p>Are these good enough reasons to transfer? If I transfer, I would plan to complete my first year here and then go to a different college for my sophomore year onward. I know I would lose scholarship money and have to go through the adjustment period all over again, but.. I don't want to spend the next four years of my life just trying to get by at a school where I don't feel connected to the student body. </p>

<p>I should also mention that I have several mental illnesses that have been worsening since I've gotten here. If things continue the way they have been, I don't know what I'm going to do. (And I've already been in contact with my school's counseling/health department.)</p>

<p>Again, I am sorry for how long this is, but.. I'm desperate. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you :) </p>

2

<p>First of all, very sorry to hear that. I think I am sort of in the same situation with you. I am not outgoing by nature but I have been trying to make friends with people in school. I think finding the balance between being yourself and being social is important. Try talk to people and make friends and don’t give up, but at the same time, when you want some time alone it’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with that. I hope that helps. And, You can message me if you want to :slight_smile: I have a feeling we be good friends.</p>

3

<p>Hi! I’m sorry to here that you aren’t having the best time at school. Firstly I just want you to know that feeling how you feel is completely normal and I can guarantee you that there are other freshmen, sophomores, and even juniors and seniors who feel like that.
I believe there aren’t really “bad” reasons for transferring. Your feelings are valid. Many times people can’t really even pinpoint the main reason they transferred, or they have multiple reasons why. However, bare in mind that, perhaps your current university is not a good fit, but transferring to a better fit won’t automatically fix everything. This is on you. 90% of your loneliness, happiness, etc. comes from yourself,not others or your environment.
As a newly transferred student, I will tell you this: please, please make sure the decision of whether to stay or not is completely your own, not too influenced by past happenings or emotions. For me, I actually left a school I was quite happy but not completely content at. At my new school, I’ve never been happier now, but a lot of that depended on my own attitude and willingness to put myself out there. This is not to say its easy - I have transfer friends who are struggling a lot more, and when you transfer, at least for the first couple of months, your life will be harder. The vast majority of my days have been very good here, but I live day to day, rather than having a set friend group and the bonds of freshmen years and stuff. Keep that in mind in terms of social stuff. And everyone’s experience varies anyway.
Most importantly, though, is to please try to enjoy your year. At least give it a chance until Thanksgiving to start applying. Sucky things are happening, but I don’t let it make your school year.</p>