Transfer Student Adjustment

Parent Cafe
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<p>Our daughter is a sophmore transfer student and we dropped her off on Sunday.</p>

<p>It was all the anxiety and stress of freshman drop off but in some ways even worse; as a freshmen she had a cohort going through the same experience, but as a transfer student she is going it alone.</p>

<p>Her floor seems a bit like party central. Two girls have introduced themselves but she hasn't gotten to know any of them so far. She is having trouble sleeping because her room (single) is across from the bathroom and she can hear every conversation and tooth being brushed.</p>

<p>School does not seem to do much for transfer student integration specifically (there aren't that many of them).</p>

<p>She seems in relatively good spirits, and estimates she'll need a month to settle in. I am finding it nerve-wracking to observe from a distance.</p>

<p>Anyone with experience to share?</p>

2

<p>Fendrock–D transfered as a soph. Fortunately, the school she transfered to did have a cohort of transfers (about 60) and did devote some of orientation to speifically transfer events and procedures. She was also placed in housing which with several other transfers nearby. </p>

<p>Ahead of time, none of that mitigated her anxiety. It was definitely like first time, only worse. Her famous line in the car on the way there “it’s like going to a different dentist-it’s still going to the dentist.” She had had a really awful experience at her first school, and though the second one was radically different, she couldn’t imagine it.</p>

<p>Presumably, the school your D is transferring to meets needs that the first one didn’t–my experience is that kids transferring by choice have a much better idea what they want in a school, and pick the new one accordingly. Remind her of all the great things about this one (the major she wanted, different cohort of students, different atmosphere, closer/farther from home, cool study abroad opportunity…etc etc.) and that she exercised wisdom in figuring out what was important to her and making this change.</p>

<p>She sounds smart to assume that it will take some time to get acclimated and meet people. Encourage her to join organizations, speak to people in class, etc. The usual stuff. just because students have friends already, doesn’t mean they aren’t open to meeting new ones. Many friends aren’t met till after frosh year.</p>

<p>Keep a listening ear ready. There will be frustrations–credits not being recorded properly, problems getting into already full classes, different procedures in general. Just keep reminding her–she will settle in, she will meet people, and she will feel at home.</p>

<p>By the time D’s soph year was over, her only regret was that she’d only be spending three years at transfer school instead of four. But she graduated with lifelong friends six years ago (they just held their annual Girls Weekend this past week.) It was without a doubt one of the best decisions she ever made.</p>

<p>Best wishes to you and your D!</p>

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<p>Is there any way to get out of the single room? It might help to have a roommate to share things with.</p>

4

<p>Thanks for the positive transfer story Garland!</p>

<p>She did say that she already felt better at this school than she ever did at her last one. (She transferred from University of South Carolina to Ithaca College.)</p>

<p>She wanted a single room. The location is a problem and she will investigate moving if she can’t make it work. Right now she is napping during the day (since she typically can’t get to sleep until 2am) and she just bought a fan to cover the noise (an acquaintance took her to Target in her car - yay!)</p>

<p>Except for the noisy hall, she hasn’t complained. I’m just fretting.</p>

5

<p>Has she tried earplugs? I think she sounds pretty realistic about the process. I agree joining activities is probably the best way to get to know people fast, but she should also leave her door open and get to know all the people on the hall. They’ll probably settle down a bit soon.</p>

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<p>She did say no one was drunk last night.</p>

<p>At least that’s a start…</p>

<p>Forgot to suggest earplugs while she was still at Target. :(</p>

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<p>Aren’t there other transfers? If the school hasn’t organized any social events for them, she should!</p>

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<p>Son transferred for the second semester freshman year. He was so unhappy at his first college it made the adjustment easier I think. He did change 2 major factors that made him unhappy at the first - his second college had at least twice the students of the first and the academics were much more rigorous. Plus he went from a school in a residential area (nothing to do) to one in a city.</p>

<p>He was just placed in a dorm randomly where another student left after the first semester. He had a great group of guys and that is what helped him the most. They were very accepting. By the end of that spring semester, they forgot he was the “new transfer” kid. He was one of them.</p>

<p>I know the first couple of weeks were tough, but he was determined to make it work and it certainly has. He was still MUCH happier at the second college from the first day than he had ever been at the first.</p>

<p>They had a transfer orientation and a one credit freshman experience for transfers, but he had bonded with his dorm mates, so that was the group he hung with.</p>

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<p>One of the best tricks for hall noise is a rolled up towel placed at the base of the door. Blocks the noise that comes in through that gap. This works well in hotels as well.</p>

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<p>Our D transferred as a soph. to an OOS school (and across country). By the time she decided to accept the offer, there was no on-campus housing left so we used the school’s website to find an apartment and 3 other transfer students, sight unseen until we arrived there. In addition there are only 14 students in her soph. program which means she is the new one in a class that has been together for a year. Amazingly, it seems to all be working out. 2 of 3 roommates are great; 1 may be a big problem but they are waiting to see if it works out. The apt. is not the best I’ve ever seen, but it is safe and right next to campus in a busy area. She says everyone is really friendly and nice and she is really enjoying herself so far. I was more worried than she was but I know it will all work out in the end. Still I think it is a bit harder for transfers sometimes, as most of the new-student programs are geared toward freshmen living in dorms.</p>

11

<p>Reporting back in one month later…</p>

<p>The decision to transfer seems to have been the right one. D has joined the dance team and also connected with two girls on her hall. She has pretty much adjusted to the noise on the hall, although she still needs to nap to make up for her inability to go to bed on the early side (she has 8am and 9am classes, which others clearly do not…)</p>

<p>One thing that surprises me is that only two girls (who are roommates) on the hall have made any kind of effort to meet and get to know her.</p>

<p>(I think it is somewhat troubling that even in a college dorm, neighbors don’t seem to feel a need to get to know each other.)</p>

<p>I asked D if she was relieved that it was working out – she said “OF COURSE!” – which I take to mean it IS working out, because she probably wouldn’t admit to being relieved unless she was really “out of the woods” in terms of adjustment.</p>

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<p>Glad to hear that it’s going well!</p>

<p>My D transferred sophomore year. No one really cared much about meeting others in the hall either her sophomore or junior year. Fortunately, D was okay with that & was able to meet people through activities she joined. The school had a transfer student orientation, but D didn’t really seem too interested in orientation stuff … so she couldn’t complain, since the opportunity was offered.</p>

<p>It’s always nice to hear the stories of transfers that work out. :)</p>

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<p>Good to hear things are going well! I would say that overall it is generally true , perhaps even universally, that after freshman year, students don’t make a big deal about getting to know other students on their hall. So don’t worry about that. She will ,as she has, meet folks other ways. Glad to hear she seems good with things.</p>